Gobar Bomb
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2004
- Messages
- 13
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- Age
- 41
can any body put some light on the 3 second rule 
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
No, it's approaching withing three seconds of EC/signs of interest.Originally posted by TyTe`EyEs
Basically it's the initial eye contact rule. You see a girl who you find attractive and get the initial eye contact. Hold eye contact for three seconds, smile, then approach.
Adonis says you shouldn't approach unless you get a smile in return.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
This explains everythingFrom ASF (alt.seduction.fast)
The point of the 3s rule is to propel you to approach women fast enough to keep your internal voice from talking you out of it and avoid hesitation. You do not want a woman to see you hesitate. The longer you hesitate, the more insecure and sappy you appear. Also, hesitation creates an added sense of nervousness to your mental state - a personality trait you do not want to portray when approaching women.
Even if you can't think of any way to initiate a conversation with a woman, whatever you do, don't break the 3s rule! Act in 3 seconds as the default rule, even if you have no idea how you will continue. If you don't have an opener or opening line in mind by the time you're in front of her, at least just say "Hi". If you act in 3 seconds, she will notice it, no matter where she just came in from or where you came from or how you passed by each other. She will see the spontaneity and decisiveness in your approach and it can only work in your favor. If you wait, hesitate, then decide to approach, you are in a weaker situation. Hesitating will give your self-doubt a chance to create imaginary bad outcomes and add unneeded insecurity to your approach.
With the 3s rule, you don't need to wait for eye contact or for her to notice you or for an opportunity to present itself. You simply see something you like and you go right up to it. You are also doing yourself a favor by following the 3s rule. In three seconds, you have no time to become nervous, self-conscious, sweaty, shaky - all the obvious signs of an AFC: lacking confidence, quality, power, or assertiveness, a weakling around women, a pariah to beautiful girls. Even if you start sweating, or getting shaky or stutter while talking to the woman after following the 3s rule, you weren't that way when you initiated contact. The first impression is what counts. If that first impression of you is of a confident and spontaneous man, her feelings for you will be positive from the start, which greatly the minimizes the chance of you turning into a pile of jelly while talking with her. It sets the pace and helps keep your inner voice at bay, allowing you the chance to keep up your confidence.
The 3s rule, though, is not absolute - you may simply not notice her when she enters your environment, or maybe you'll be tied up with something that might in some way stop you from approaching her (real obstacles, not your imagined ones). The 3 seconds start counting from the moment you have spotted her and are free to approach. When those two conditions are met, you really don't have the time to think deep thoughts, or try and figure out whether or not she noticed that you didn't approach her because you were either too preoccupied, restrained, or simply oblivious - the clock is always ticking, so move it!
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.