Gobar Bomb
Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 28, 2004
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can any body put some light on the 3 second rule 
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
No, it's approaching withing three seconds of EC/signs of interest.Originally posted by TyTe`EyEs
Basically it's the initial eye contact rule. You see a girl who you find attractive and get the initial eye contact. Hold eye contact for three seconds, smile, then approach.
Adonis says you shouldn't approach unless you get a smile in return.
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
This explains everythingFrom ASF (alt.seduction.fast)
The point of the 3s rule is to propel you to approach women fast enough to keep your internal voice from talking you out of it and avoid hesitation. You do not want a woman to see you hesitate. The longer you hesitate, the more insecure and sappy you appear. Also, hesitation creates an added sense of nervousness to your mental state - a personality trait you do not want to portray when approaching women.
Even if you can't think of any way to initiate a conversation with a woman, whatever you do, don't break the 3s rule! Act in 3 seconds as the default rule, even if you have no idea how you will continue. If you don't have an opener or opening line in mind by the time you're in front of her, at least just say "Hi". If you act in 3 seconds, she will notice it, no matter where she just came in from or where you came from or how you passed by each other. She will see the spontaneity and decisiveness in your approach and it can only work in your favor. If you wait, hesitate, then decide to approach, you are in a weaker situation. Hesitating will give your self-doubt a chance to create imaginary bad outcomes and add unneeded insecurity to your approach.
With the 3s rule, you don't need to wait for eye contact or for her to notice you or for an opportunity to present itself. You simply see something you like and you go right up to it. You are also doing yourself a favor by following the 3s rule. In three seconds, you have no time to become nervous, self-conscious, sweaty, shaky - all the obvious signs of an AFC: lacking confidence, quality, power, or assertiveness, a weakling around women, a pariah to beautiful girls. Even if you start sweating, or getting shaky or stutter while talking to the woman after following the 3s rule, you weren't that way when you initiated contact. The first impression is what counts. If that first impression of you is of a confident and spontaneous man, her feelings for you will be positive from the start, which greatly the minimizes the chance of you turning into a pile of jelly while talking with her. It sets the pace and helps keep your inner voice at bay, allowing you the chance to keep up your confidence.
The 3s rule, though, is not absolute - you may simply not notice her when she enters your environment, or maybe you'll be tied up with something that might in some way stop you from approaching her (real obstacles, not your imagined ones). The 3 seconds start counting from the moment you have spotted her and are free to approach. When those two conditions are met, you really don't have the time to think deep thoughts, or try and figure out whether or not she noticed that you didn't approach her because you were either too preoccupied, restrained, or simply oblivious - the clock is always ticking, so move it!
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.