Luthor Rex
Master Don Juan
What's that? *sniff* *sniff*
Is that BPD I smell cooking?
hmm...
Is that BPD I smell cooking?
hmm...
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
24 yrs down the drain
- Thread starter imaluvnit
- Start date
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Hey that's funny, That's the name in my phone for XXX Wife, AKA the Iceberg!!!! Man it's amazing she must have this switch in her head she can just turn off and never act like I even existed!!! wow it hurts but I guess time will take care of that.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
Mine was only 14 years ad cost 200k. Get her off life ins,bank accounts, everything. Hide some money-overpay for groceries and get the cash back. Read Screw the "female dog" at palladin press-can't think of the author. Be glad she just moved out,could have been worse.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Maybe she is just "finding herself" after all those years of "patriachal oppression" at the hands of the OP ....Or maybe she is just what Danger said.Danger said:
I wonder how long it will take her to get a grip and feel the reality of the "single again" meat market.
I hope that the OP is aware of the possibility of her attempting to keep him warm on the bench while she goes out to test drive her $20K body panel job.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
That "switch" has been the subject of a few discussions here from time to time.imaluvnit said:
You would not be the first guy to experience that kind of callous dumping from an LTR woman.
Andy_Dufresne
Senior Don Juan
You clearly built a monster, dude.imaluvnit said:
I've done divorced parent counseling in the past, and I am amazed at how many times I heard this story over and over from the men.
Learn from it.
It's not too late.
Consider yourself lucky that you are rid of this nonsense. You will see my point five years from now when you are with your new LTR interest 10 years younger and meanwhile she is completely broke, has been through five failed relationships and is struggling to maintain her cougar status.
Andy
Thank's for letting me know there is hope, But right at this moment it all feels impossible for me to get a normal life everyone tells me it is time for myself, but I find it hard to do as I have spent so many years supporting her and my family for all those years. I always put her and my sons first and my needs came second. I'm trying to act like i'm not mad but is very hard to do, I feel like a disposable lighter, she used me up and just tossed me away like some trash. I'm taking it day by day, what a rollercoaster ride, thank's again.
Thank's for letting me know there is hope, But right at this moment it all feels impossible for me to get a normal life everyone tells me it is time for myself, but I find it hard to do as I have spent so many years supporting her and my family for all those years. I always put her and my sons first and my needs came second. I'm trying to act like i'm not mad but is very hard to do, I feel like a disposable lighter, she used me up and just tossed me away like some trash. I'm taking it day by day, what a rollercoaster ride, thank's again.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Hidden-Hand
Don Juan
Congrad’s man, you are a 'free man'.
You should be ecstatic, you just got done with your 24 year 'prison sentence'. You are like a convict who has been in 'prison' with a naggy depressed emotionally unstable woman, and it’s finally over! Never date girls with clinical depression or any other mental defect, its just not worth the time nor effort that you will put into trying to sustain such a relationship. And go for girls younger than you, more hotness less baggage. Do you really want a old wrinkle faced woman anyway? ...Me either lol. I am sorry this may be out of my age range (I'm 18) but I had to post because I am genuinely happy for you. Any woman who would leave like that is not worth keeping, ever. But WARNING BEWARE!!!: if this woman makes any attempt to get back into your life, be it now or years from now, DO NOT, under any circumstances, let her. Remember what she has done to you, forgive but never forget. It is a good possibility that she will come crawling back to you when her next few relationships fail (and they almost certainly will) so it is your duty to yourself to send her crawling back to where she came from! This woman has obvious difficulties and she thought by leaving you she would solve them, she will not. The problem lies within her not you. All her relationships will be horrible because that is what she is projecting..it gets complicated to explain from this point on so I will not elaborate. Just go out there, focus on having fun and you will get the *new* woman of your dreams.
Have a beautiful day man
You should be ecstatic, you just got done with your 24 year 'prison sentence'. You are like a convict who has been in 'prison' with a naggy depressed emotionally unstable woman, and it’s finally over! Never date girls with clinical depression or any other mental defect, its just not worth the time nor effort that you will put into trying to sustain such a relationship. And go for girls younger than you, more hotness less baggage. Do you really want a old wrinkle faced woman anyway? ...Me either lol. I am sorry this may be out of my age range (I'm 18) but I had to post because I am genuinely happy for you. Any woman who would leave like that is not worth keeping, ever. But WARNING BEWARE!!!: if this woman makes any attempt to get back into your life, be it now or years from now, DO NOT, under any circumstances, let her. Remember what she has done to you, forgive but never forget. It is a good possibility that she will come crawling back to you when her next few relationships fail (and they almost certainly will) so it is your duty to yourself to send her crawling back to where she came from! This woman has obvious difficulties and she thought by leaving you she would solve them, she will not. The problem lies within her not you. All her relationships will be horrible because that is what she is projecting..it gets complicated to explain from this point on so I will not elaborate. Just go out there, focus on having fun and you will get the *new* woman of your dreams.
Have a beautiful day man
Hidden Hand
thank's for your comments, I know it all to be true, but it is hard to get past feeling like a disposable lighter that has been all used up and just thrown away. I'm trying to get over being angry I hope it fades here in the near future. I am ready to go hunt down some younger stuff though, it just seems like the right thing to do, I have already gone out with 30 yr old girl from el salvador that I work with. don't know how long it will last but I'm having fun in the mean time.
thank's for your comments, I know it all to be true, but it is hard to get past feeling like a disposable lighter that has been all used up and just thrown away. I'm trying to get over being angry I hope it fades here in the near future. I am ready to go hunt down some younger stuff though, it just seems like the right thing to do, I have already gone out with 30 yr old girl from el salvador that I work with. don't know how long it will last but I'm having fun in the mean time.
Andy_Dufresne
Senior Don Juan
Uggh. The more I read, the worse it gets!imaluvnit said:
Some tips:
Put YOURSELF first, the rest will follow. Do not let resistance from the (ex) and the kids stop you from doing what you want. This is YOUR time.
Learn the effectiveness and the meaning of "NO".
Maintain the frame, especially with the kids.
Don't be bitter. You will have to fake it for awhile at first.... but don't.
Most of all, NEVER EVER solve a woman's problems.
imaluvnit said:
Stick around this site and develop yourself and everything else will naturally follow then. Work on yourself and you'll be rewarded without doubt. She wasn't attracted to you in the end so think about why and work on that area.
You can't see it now because you're still hurting from it but her leaving you was a great thing. You're now free to find somebody who adds to your life not takes from it. Congratulations.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
jophil28
Master Don Juan
Here ^^^imaluvnit said:
The first sentence describes the actions of a mature man, husband and father...good job.
However, the second sentence describes servitude and your abandonment of yourself.
Thank's Slaog
Thank's for the kind words, it's hard every day. I think since she left she think's she has done no wrong and that she has not done anythi inng wrong anyway. that is where I think my advantage comes in, I know I made mistakes and acknowledging them, so I figure I'm more than likely not to screw up my next relationship, I'm sure i'll come out way ahead but it does'nt feel like it yet. I am really suprised at how many women in this age category do this it is more the norm than unusual, does'nt anyone know how to treat people with respect any more WTF? Thank's for all your input I truly appreciate it, you guy's are the Sh#t. I'm back in school again WTF?
Thank's for the kind words, it's hard every day. I think since she left she think's she has done no wrong and that she has not done anythi inng wrong anyway. that is where I think my advantage comes in, I know I made mistakes and acknowledging them, so I figure I'm more than likely not to screw up my next relationship, I'm sure i'll come out way ahead but it does'nt feel like it yet. I am really suprised at how many women in this age category do this it is more the norm than unusual, does'nt anyone know how to treat people with respect any more WTF? Thank's for all your input I truly appreciate it, you guy's are the Sh#t. I'm back in school again WTF?
Thank's to all you guy's and your support. You guy's are the Sh#t. I just realized I"m back in school again WTF? man am I really gonna pay attention this time. Props to all you guy's that are on top of your game, I hope one day to have the right women, but just not yet, I'm not gonna F&ck up this time, I got my balls back finally and they will never be taken from me again.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.