24 yrs down the drain

[Luthor Rex]

What's that? *sniff* *sniff*

Is that BPD I smell cooking?

hmm...

 

[STR8UP]

Competition is a fact of life. However if they turn out to be bad prospects we will toss 'em back at ya.

Yea, what he said.

Younger women are an older man's reward for having his sh!t together.

 

[imaluvnit]

Hey that's funny, That's the name in my phone for XXX Wife, AKA the Iceberg!!!! Man it's amazing she must have this switch in her head she can just turn off and never act like I even existed!!! wow it hurts but I guess time will take care of that.

 

[imaluvnit]

WTF? is TESOL, I'm willing to learn.

 

[sodbuster]

Mine was only 14 years ad cost 200k. Get her off life ins,bank accounts, everything. Hide some money-overpay for groceries and get the cash back. Read Screw the "female dog" at palladin press-can't think of the author. Be glad she just moved out,could have been worse.

 

[jophil28]

Nah, doesn't sound anything like a BPD. Just a normal run-of-the-mill entitled cougar freshly hatched from her cocoon.

Maybe she is just "finding herself" after all those years of "patriachal oppression" at the hands of the OP ....Or maybe she is just what Danger said.

I wonder how long it will take her to get a grip and feel the reality of the "single again" meat market.
I hope that the OP is aware of the possibility of her attempting to keep him warm on the bench while she goes out to test drive her $20K body panel job.

 

[jophil28]

Hey that's funny, That's the name in my phone for XXX Wife, AKA the Iceberg!!!! Man it's amazing she must have this switch in her head she can just turn off and never act like I even existed!!! wow it hurts but I guess time will take care of that.

That "switch" has been the subject of a few discussions here from time to time.
You would not be the first guy to experience that kind of callous dumping from an LTR woman.

 

[imaluvnit]

No chance of that happening, I'm already dating again. and would rather be alone than to take back damaged goods.

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

Here go's, a little back history. She has always dealt with depression, on and off meds for the last 24 yrs. In the last 2 years she had lost 50+ lbs, Now how she did it, I must mention that she always said that I was unsupportive. Here go's, we took 4 cycling/spin classes a week which 3 of them I teach, I also do all the cooking so I make everything super low fat high in protein and in low carbs, I also taught her how to workout with weights and she also did weight watchers. Ok I can here it now!!!! I built a monster. .

You clearly built a monster, dude.

I've done divorced parent counseling in the past, and I am amazed at how many times I heard this story over and over from the men.

Learn from it.

It's not too late.

Consider yourself lucky that you are rid of this nonsense. You will see my point five years from now when you are with your new LTR interest 10 years younger and meanwhile she is completely broke, has been through five failed relationships and is struggling to maintain her cougar status.

 

[imaluvnit]

Andy
Thank's for letting me know there is hope, But right at this moment it all feels impossible for me to get a normal life everyone tells me it is time for myself, but I find it hard to do as I have spent so many years supporting her and my family for all those years. I always put her and my sons first and my needs came second. I'm trying to act like i'm not mad but is very hard to do, I feel like a disposable lighter, she used me up and just tossed me away like some trash. I'm taking it day by day, what a rollercoaster ride, thank's again.

 

[Hidden-Hand]

Congrad’s man, you are a 'free man'.

You should be ecstatic, you just got done with your 24 year 'prison sentence'. You are like a convict who has been in 'prison' with a naggy depressed emotionally unstable woman, and it’s finally over! Never date girls with clinical depression or any other mental defect, its just not worth the time nor effort that you will put into trying to sustain such a relationship. And go for girls younger than you, more hotness less baggage. Do you really want a old wrinkle faced woman anyway? ...Me either lol. I am sorry this may be out of my age range (I'm 18) but I had to post because I am genuinely happy for you. Any woman who would leave like that is not worth keeping, ever. But WARNING BEWARE!!!: if this woman makes any attempt to get back into your life, be it now or years from now, DO NOT, under any circumstances, let her. Remember what she has done to you, forgive but never forget. It is a good possibility that she will come crawling back to you when her next few relationships fail (and they almost certainly will) so it is your duty to yourself to send her crawling back to where she came from! This woman has obvious difficulties and she thought by leaving you she would solve them, she will not. The problem lies within her not you. All her relationships will be horrible because that is what she is projecting..it gets complicated to explain from this point on so I will not elaborate. Just go out there, focus on having fun and you will get the *new* woman of your dreams.

Have a beautiful day man

 

[jonwon]

"Here go's, a little back history. She has always dealt with depression, on and off meds for the last 24 yrs"

Nuff said really.

Welcome to freedom.

 

[imaluvnit]

Hidden Hand
thank's for your comments, I know it all to be true, but it is hard to get past feeling like a disposable lighter that has been all used up and just thrown away. I'm trying to get over being angry I hope it fades here in the near future. I am ready to go hunt down some younger stuff though, it just seems like the right thing to do, I have already gone out with 30 yr old girl from el salvador that I work with. don't know how long it will last but I'm having fun in the mean time.

 

[Andy_Dufresne]

Andy
but I find it hard to do as I have spent so many years supporting her and my family for all those years. I always put her and my sons first and my needs came second. I'm trying to act like i'm not mad but is very hard to do, I feel like a disposable lighter, she used me up and just tossed me away like some trash.

Uggh. The more I read, the worse it gets!

Some tips:

Put YOURSELF first, the rest will follow. Do not let resistance from the (ex) and the kids stop you from doing what you want. This is YOUR time.

Learn the effectiveness and the meaning of "NO".

Maintain the frame, especially with the kids.

Don't be bitter. You will have to fake it for awhile at first.... but don't.

Most of all, NEVER EVER solve a woman's problems.

 

[slaog]

Hidden Hand
thank's for your comments, I know it all to be true, but it is hard to get past feeling like a disposable lighter that has been all used up and just thrown away. I'm trying to get over being angry I hope it fades here in the near future. I am ready to go hunt down some younger stuff though, it just seems like the right thing to do, I have already gone out with 30 yr old girl from el salvador that I work with. don't know how long it will last but I'm having fun in the mean time.

Stick around this site and develop yourself and everything else will naturally follow then. Work on yourself and you'll be rewarded without doubt. She wasn't attracted to you in the end so think about why and work on that area.


You can't see it now because you're still hurting from it but her leaving you was a great thing. You're now free to find somebody who adds to your life not takes from it. Congratulations.

 

[MatureDJ]

While I understand why older guys want to date younger women, out of selfish interest, I don't like the idea. Because it just makes more competition for women in my age range. Guys my age want women around my age, guys that are older want women in my age, so that just makes these women in this age group think they are even more valuable.

No honey, women your age want women 5-10 years younger. I'm 10 years older than you, and I want women no less than 30.

 

[jophil28]

...I find it hard to do as I have spent so many years supporting her and my family for all those years. I always put her and my sons first and my needs came second.

Here ^^^
The first sentence describes the actions of a mature man, husband and father...good job.

However, the second sentence describes servitude and your abandonment of yourself.

 

[MatureDJ]

No honey, women your age want women 5-10 years younger. I'm 10 years older than you, and I want women no less than 30.

OOPS! That should have been no OLDER than 30.

 

[imaluvnit]

Thank's Slaog
Thank's for the kind words, it's hard every day. I think since she left she think's she has done no wrong and that she has not done anythi inng wrong anyway. that is where I think my advantage comes in, I know I made mistakes and acknowledging them, so I figure I'm more than likely not to screw up my next relationship, I'm sure i'll come out way ahead but it does'nt feel like it yet. I am really suprised at how many women in this age category do this it is more the norm than unusual, does'nt anyone know how to treat people with respect any more WTF? Thank's for all your input I truly appreciate it, you guy's are the Sh#t. I'm back in school again WTF?

 

[imaluvnit]

Thank's to all you guy's and your support. You guy's are the Sh#t. I just realized I"m back in school again WTF? man am I really gonna pay attention this time. Props to all you guy's that are on top of your game, I hope one day to have the right women, but just not yet, I'm not gonna F&ck up this time, I got my balls back finally and they will never be taken from me again.