"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

2 Phased by Beauty...killing my game

yuppaz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2008
Messages
1,025
Reaction score
99
I've heard some generic comments on how to make yourself un-phased by beauty, like imagine her taking a sh*t and stuff like that, but does anyone have experience working through this and some solid advice to give on how I can make myself unaffected by a woman's looks? My issue isn't the approach, it's on dates etc. I want to just be myself but am so affected that it really fvcks me up.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

Ease

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
1,320
Reaction score
51
Personally i think imagining her taking a sh/t would f/ck me up more than how beautiful she is.

Dont make it a big deal, be calm and remember sometimes its good to say nothing. If theres an awkward silence dont feel the need to break it, just be calm and confident. Dont let anything external break your frame.
 

MAN_OF_TOMMOROW

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2009
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Location
London
Make her stutter if you're talking to her or look at her lip or somewhere on her forehead, which will make her think somethings on her face :D
 

Ziniath

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2009
Messages
47
Reaction score
8
When you say you are "phased by beauty" what exactly do you mean?
do you mean that when you are in the company of a gorgeous woman you become clumsy, say the wrong things etc?

Something that has always helped me is to check in with my thoughts, and the motives behind my actions.

If I'm experiencing anxiety, it's usually due to the fact that my motive is to impress somebody - if that's the case with you, then change your focus\motive and see how that works out for you.

There are millions of hot women on this planet, walk down the street on a sunny day and drink them all up: just because they're hot doesn't mean they're cool though.

So perhaps proceeding with the motive of finding out if she's cool, rather than trying to get her to like you may be a little more productive for you.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

Read more...

yuppaz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2008
Messages
1,025
Reaction score
99
Thanks guys,

When I say that I'm phased, I mean...wtf do I mean...???
I feel like....I've come such a long way from where I was and my mindset is very healthy, I can be who I am truely most of the time, and if I feel the girl is cute but not beautiful I am fine, when I spend more time then a few minutes with a beautiful girl I get drawn in and blank, and start getting in my head. I mean that beauty affects me in just being who I am and expressing myself. I get more on the pre-rejection defense and afraid to escalate physically. I want to be in a place where I am 100% comfortable in just being me around them and being able to have fun and be stupid flirty and sexual. Feel like there is a road block in front of me stopping this, a barrier I need to overcome.
 

Deniska

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
85
Reaction score
0
Been there done that.

What you should do and it has helped me, is to have a mind set that you will never in your life, ever, will get to sleep with her. By doing that you are putting her in to a friends zone on a subconscious level. In other words, you are setting your self for rejection from the get-go.

Or, pretend that you just met your long lost sister who is hot. And talk to her as if shes your sister.

Once you know that and understand it, you'll be able to talk to her as you would with any other person.
 
Top