"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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2 Phased by Beauty...killing my game

yuppaz

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I've heard some generic comments on how to make yourself un-phased by beauty, like imagine her taking a sh*t and stuff like that, but does anyone have experience working through this and some solid advice to give on how I can make myself unaffected by a woman's looks? My issue isn't the approach, it's on dates etc. I want to just be myself but am so affected that it really fvcks me up.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Ease

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Personally i think imagining her taking a sh/t would f/ck me up more than how beautiful she is.

Dont make it a big deal, be calm and remember sometimes its good to say nothing. If theres an awkward silence dont feel the need to break it, just be calm and confident. Dont let anything external break your frame.
 

MAN_OF_TOMMOROW

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Make her stutter if you're talking to her or look at her lip or somewhere on her forehead, which will make her think somethings on her face :D
 

Ziniath

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When you say you are "phased by beauty" what exactly do you mean?
do you mean that when you are in the company of a gorgeous woman you become clumsy, say the wrong things etc?

Something that has always helped me is to check in with my thoughts, and the motives behind my actions.

If I'm experiencing anxiety, it's usually due to the fact that my motive is to impress somebody - if that's the case with you, then change your focus\motive and see how that works out for you.

There are millions of hot women on this planet, walk down the street on a sunny day and drink them all up: just because they're hot doesn't mean they're cool though.

So perhaps proceeding with the motive of finding out if she's cool, rather than trying to get her to like you may be a little more productive for you.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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yuppaz

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Thanks guys,

When I say that I'm phased, I mean...wtf do I mean...???
I feel like....I've come such a long way from where I was and my mindset is very healthy, I can be who I am truely most of the time, and if I feel the girl is cute but not beautiful I am fine, when I spend more time then a few minutes with a beautiful girl I get drawn in and blank, and start getting in my head. I mean that beauty affects me in just being who I am and expressing myself. I get more on the pre-rejection defense and afraid to escalate physically. I want to be in a place where I am 100% comfortable in just being me around them and being able to have fun and be stupid flirty and sexual. Feel like there is a road block in front of me stopping this, a barrier I need to overcome.
 

Deniska

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Been there done that.

What you should do and it has helped me, is to have a mind set that you will never in your life, ever, will get to sleep with her. By doing that you are putting her in to a friends zone on a subconscious level. In other words, you are setting your self for rejection from the get-go.

Or, pretend that you just met your long lost sister who is hot. And talk to her as if shes your sister.

Once you know that and understand it, you'll be able to talk to her as you would with any other person.
 
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