"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

2 Phased by Beauty...killing my game

yuppaz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2008
Messages
1,025
Reaction score
99
I've heard some generic comments on how to make yourself un-phased by beauty, like imagine her taking a sh*t and stuff like that, but does anyone have experience working through this and some solid advice to give on how I can make myself unaffected by a woman's looks? My issue isn't the approach, it's on dates etc. I want to just be myself but am so affected that it really fvcks me up.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Ease

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 23, 2009
Messages
1,320
Reaction score
51
Personally i think imagining her taking a sh/t would f/ck me up more than how beautiful she is.

Dont make it a big deal, be calm and remember sometimes its good to say nothing. If theres an awkward silence dont feel the need to break it, just be calm and confident. Dont let anything external break your frame.
 

MAN_OF_TOMMOROW

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 15, 2009
Messages
87
Reaction score
0
Location
London
Make her stutter if you're talking to her or look at her lip or somewhere on her forehead, which will make her think somethings on her face :D
 

Ziniath

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 26, 2009
Messages
47
Reaction score
8
When you say you are "phased by beauty" what exactly do you mean?
do you mean that when you are in the company of a gorgeous woman you become clumsy, say the wrong things etc?

Something that has always helped me is to check in with my thoughts, and the motives behind my actions.

If I'm experiencing anxiety, it's usually due to the fact that my motive is to impress somebody - if that's the case with you, then change your focus\motive and see how that works out for you.

There are millions of hot women on this planet, walk down the street on a sunny day and drink them all up: just because they're hot doesn't mean they're cool though.

So perhaps proceeding with the motive of finding out if she's cool, rather than trying to get her to like you may be a little more productive for you.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

Read more...

yuppaz

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 21, 2008
Messages
1,025
Reaction score
99
Thanks guys,

When I say that I'm phased, I mean...wtf do I mean...???
I feel like....I've come such a long way from where I was and my mindset is very healthy, I can be who I am truely most of the time, and if I feel the girl is cute but not beautiful I am fine, when I spend more time then a few minutes with a beautiful girl I get drawn in and blank, and start getting in my head. I mean that beauty affects me in just being who I am and expressing myself. I get more on the pre-rejection defense and afraid to escalate physically. I want to be in a place where I am 100% comfortable in just being me around them and being able to have fun and be stupid flirty and sexual. Feel like there is a road block in front of me stopping this, a barrier I need to overcome.
 

Deniska

Don Juan
Joined
Aug 3, 2009
Messages
85
Reaction score
0
Been there done that.

What you should do and it has helped me, is to have a mind set that you will never in your life, ever, will get to sleep with her. By doing that you are putting her in to a friends zone on a subconscious level. In other words, you are setting your self for rejection from the get-go.

Or, pretend that you just met your long lost sister who is hot. And talk to her as if shes your sister.

Once you know that and understand it, you'll be able to talk to her as you would with any other person.
 
Top