"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Vatoloco's Observation Log
- Thread starter vatoloco
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
http://www.latimes.com/business/tec...tha-brick-ugly-pretty-20120405,0,313851.story
From the original column:
Sure, she is not hot. I am sure she was a cute 7 in her youth but she is not making a false statement.
To me there are several things in my Life that I value very much: my time, my money, my health and my sanity. "Wrong women" will negatively impact your life in one or more of these factors, particularly your health and your sanity.
Back in the day, I had a girlfriend. Turns out she had been molested as a child and I ended up getting the short end of the stick. Super insecure girl who was always accusing me of shit I never did, affecting my sanity. I was angry and frustrated whenever I was out with this girl. Hey, I thought love was supposed to be "loving and fun"!
I also dated a bipolar chick back in the day. She'd be the sweetest girl one day and then a total psycho the next, when she didn't take her pills. Sex was great but I had to walk on eggshells around this girl. Whenever she'd call and I would see her number on the caller ID, my body would get sick. Literally. I would feel nauseous. Eventually I stopped picking up her calls. She'd leave sweet, alluring messages, followed by threats of not knowing what she "was capable of." Fun times.
A buddy of mine went out with a bartender. He'd tell me that when they were out and about, they'd run into customers of hers who would say "Hi" and she would completely ignore him, making him jealous and frustrated. Never tried one myself after his experience. Can't compete with the level of Attention need.
I also went out with this girl who I found out had Daddy Issues. Completely psycho girl. Had to change my number. I've never gone out with a Gold Digger (since I'm not rich) but I would imagine that they've be a handful too.
So what are the Red Flags when it comes to these women? If they're not positively influencing your life but are rather affecting it like stated above. More than likely, you have a "wrong woman" in your hands.
What are some the consequences of dating/fucking these women? Loss of time. I wasted collective years with women who were not good for me. I could've used that time with candidates for "good ones". Not to mention the money wasted on them!! smh
Your health and sanity are also affected. When I was dating molested girl above, my health took a beating as I used to get the most painful migraines I've ever had in my life. Stopped seeing her, the migraines stopped. Nice, huh? With bipolar chick, I literally was sometimes afraid to go out of my apartment. Never felt safe. My sanity suffered.
Hopefully that provides an insight for anybody interested.
The second link in particular had something that I thought it should be re-iterated and written down here as an observation.
Hey, football fans, it don't get any clearer than this!
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I'm a huge movie buff. I like all sorts of movies, especially the ones that teach me something useful. Ever since I became unplugged back in the day, I see movies through a new set of eyes. This recent response of mine reminded me of A Bronx Tale, in the scene where Sonny talks to C about the $20 owed to him.
"Look at this way: it cost you twenty dollars to get rid of him. Right? He's never gonna bother you again. He's never gonna ask you for money again. He's out of your life for twenty dollars. You got off cheap. Forget it."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2RH-ZPS-WC0
Bonus: "Fear lasts longer than love."
Another good one from A Bronx Tale is the Door Test:
"... then you walk around the back of the car and you look through the rear window. If she doesn't reach over, lift up that button for you, so you can get in, dump her."
"Just like that?"
"Listen to me, kid. If she doesn't reach over and lift up that button for you so that you can get in, that means she's a selfish broad and all you've seen is the tip of the iceberg. You dump her and you dump her fast."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HAJdqzRM6Dw
Nowadays most cars have power locks so if you don't have manual ones for the Door Test, look at other things. When you open the door for her and she gets in the car, does she offer to take the drinks you just bought and put them in the cup holders? Does she help you take down the windshield shade?
Look at the little things she does or does not do.
A couple of weekends ago I saw Sideways. As a loser as Miles is, you cannot help but feel sorry for the guy. In his 40s, the guy has pretty much amounted to nothing in his life...
Anyway, what I wanted to mention in this log is that you never, EVER do the following:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xhr1zv_miles-misses-the-moment_shortfilms
In this scene, Maya (the blond woman) lets Miles know that she wants to be fucked. Seriously, those are "Fuck me!" eyes. You, as a Man, need to to take the lead, reciprocate the kino and initiate.
Lesson to be learned:
- If a woman ever gives you that look, take her as she wants to be taken.
- "You hesitate, you masturbate."
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
It's almost the end of the semester here at work and something that I absolutely love about working here (a university) is the access to cute, young, pretty girls who switch over to skimpy outfits as soon as the weather warms up.
Anyway, I have a blast here talking and flirting with all these girls but what made me wanna write this particular post today is something that I've reflected over the years and was finally able to boil it down to this:
We all know that most young girls' priority during college is the "hotness" of guys they hook up with. If you're not "hot", your chances of copulating are greatly diminished due to your height. I've noticed throughout my years here is that short guys do indeed succeed... only if they have muscular bodies and choose targets that are slightly shorter than them.
So. If you're short and you're in college, hit the gym. Otherwise, you're fucked.
And not in the good way.
This morning, as I was getting ready for work, I was listening a local radio show and they were interviewing some TV newscaster who is currently on maternity leave and who recently had her child.
Anyway, I wasn't paying much attention until the female co-host of the radio show asked the woman being interviewed if she had gotten a "Push Present" from her husband. I was like "WTF is a Push Present!?" The woman being interviewed didn't know either but the co-host went ahead and explained it to her.
Looking it up today, I was horrified to find this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Push_present
OH HELL NOOOOOO!!!! WTF IS THIS SHIT!!?? It's her goddamn job as a Woman to birth a child as it is mine as a Man to be a provider to my family!! It's goddamn Nature for fuck's sake!
Why don't men get "Fertilization Presents"? I mean, it takes two to make a baby, yes? I will gladly take a "I came in your pussy and impregnated you" present.
Lessons to be learned:
- If your woman chooses to be a mother and expects a fuckin' Push Present, you're fucked. You chose wrong.
- If you buy into this shit, you're a fuckin' clown. You deserve to be taken to the cleaners when she divorces your ass and raids your bank accounts and possessions.
I'm a sarcastic SOB and can get a little cynical at times, especially with hard-headed n00bs. But then again, we all have to start somewhere and this blog reminded me of that:
http://consideredcarefully.wordpress.com/
I like this guy. Reminds me of me when I was younger. You should read it.
Edit: Read it from the bottom up. First article is "I Like Women" posted on May 7, 2012: http://consideredcarefully.wordpress.com/2012/05/07/hello-world/
"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"
You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.
She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.
Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.
Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.
Yesterday, after a tiring session of "after-vacation" sex (I had been out of town for the weekend), my girl and I were in bed talking. Earlier in the day she had told me about a particular situation she had placed herself in with her family while I had been out. The offense wasn't particularly grave but I had told her that she was not to do it again. Kidding around, I told her that otherwise I'd have to "spank her".
So while we're there lying naked and swimming in sweat, tired from the exhausting pounding session, she blurts out: "I love how you give me boundaries! Even though you love me, you don't let me get away with things."
"Of course sweetheart. Just because I love you, it don't mean I'm gonna put up with any shit."
Lesson to be learned:
- You have to be the Man in the relationship. Seriously. None of this feministic "equality" bullshit. You're supposed to be the Man and she's supposed to be the Woman. Pure and simple.
It's a slow Friday here at work so I'm gonna post an interaction I saw a couple of weeks ago here at school.
I'm walking back to my building when in front of me, about 40 yards away, I notice this couple talking. As I get closer, I notice that the girl is a HB8.5 and the guy she was talking too was a good-looking guy. You could tell that the girl was kinda attracted to the guy (positive body language, smile on her face, etc.) but he didn't seem that confident. At least from his approach and body language.
He was kinda slouched. His voice was kinda timid. I got closer and heard his closing and unfortunately for him, it wasn't great: "Hey, let me get your number. You know, for the project. Just in case!"
IDK if she actually gave it to him (like I said, I could tell she liked him) since I walked past them after that, but I must say, if he was interested in her outside the academic setting, it wasn't the best approach. You have to have the utmost confidence when dealing romantically with women.
I'm not saying this is going to happen overnight (it did take me 10+ years to reach Enlightenment) and I do applaud the kid's guts for asking [albeit timidly].
Lesson to be learned:
- It's good to always close. And at first it's going to be awkward. But, with time and practice, you will gain the confidence to close the right way.
P.S. It helps if you're not ugly!
Among the many things I've incorporated into my Life, The 48 Laws of Power are some of the best things I ran across in my journey in the voyage called Life.
Recently, my girl has been having to invoke Law 46 by lying about her relationship with me: she has to tell her girlfriends that we constantly fight to keep them at bay, when the reality is that we have not had a single argument or fight in the almost two years we've been together.
Remember, PEOPLE ARE ENVIOUS OF THE MORE FORTUNATE AND WILL DO THINGS TO SABOTAGE YOUR HAPPINESS.
Find yourself a good one and have her protect your relationship from the harpies trying to kill it.
You have to be a Prize to find one, though!
I won't get into too many details but, I was asked last week to sit in in a meeting for a project whose people include a woman who knows my boss. I was there to be there as an observant and in case they had any technical questions.
They need hardware and were consulting with my work's IT. The guy who they talked to was an excellent salesman: throwing fast and furious specs at her, avoiding direct answers to questions and, of course, the hard sell: "I can only guarantee this pricing for you today."
Anyway, it was horrible. At least for me, as in informed person. They were overselling her things for her needs. But in any case, she just came back with: "Whatever you think is best." I had to hold my tongue as it wasn't my place to say anything.
Lesson to be learned:
- Don't be like this woman. Don't be ignorant. Inform yourself. Or at least surround yourself with people smarter than you so that you may pick up something via osmosis!
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.