Dating apps are dying

[Snag87]

People think they’ll be around forever, and maybe that’s true, but not on anywhere near the scale we’ve seen in previous years. I’ve tried Hinge, Bumble and Tinder over the last few months. I eventually deleted Bumble and Tinder as my experience was just ghastly. I believe I had one match who wasn’t morbidly obese or biologically male. Hinge was a different story. I managed to rack up 150 or so matches, which led to three dates. That said, the difference in quality on Hinge between now and 2021 was palpable. It’s just night and day. In 2021 I could consistently match with attractive women, although I admittedly did struggle to convince them to go on dates with me. In present day virtually all of my matches are average or below average. And it’s not just my matches; there are significantly fewer attractive women on the apps period, which obviously means more competition for them.

I would have a hard time recommending dating apps for any man these days, particularly if the man doesn’t have extremely high SMV. I believe meeting woman organically or through AI match makers is the future.

 

[BPH]

People think they’ll be around forever, and maybe that’s true, but not on anywhere near the scale we’ve seen in previous years.

Strongly disagree.

I spent the past year trying my hand as a dating coach...believing that people would appreciate somebody genuine who gets around with a bunch of women, without all the skits, paid actresses, and fakery of social media.

Know who they bought into instead?

The guys selling dating app makeovers and courses on Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.

Know why?

Because it's easier to take tasteful pictures, have AI photoshop you, and appear larger-than-life online. After all, that is EXACTLY why social media is so popular; it's a highlight reel. Get rejected on an app? You'll never know. Get a like or a match on an app? You get a push notification and a dopamine hit inviting you to start conversing with a lovely woman who, unbeknownst to you, probably has about 100 other guys messaging her at the same time, and will likely not keep the conversation long enough to meet up for a date.

People go broke on social media pretending to be rich...so I have a hard time believing anybody will be upset about not going on enough dates if they're still getting plenty of matches.

 

[jhonny9546]

Your experience is totally subjective.

We know women will get of course "easier" life, but the app works if you're an attractive man.
(It works for me, even if I am below 165cm)

So I can say it works if you're attractive.
You get what you ask.

Dating apps are there to satisfy the need for sex/intimacy, mostly quick sex.
But there are also deep and meaningful people (rare)

 

[Snag87]

Your experience is totally subjective.

We know women will get of course "easier" life, but the app works if you're an attractive man.
(It works for me, even if I am below 165cm)

So I can say it works if you're attractive.
You get what you ask.

Dating apps are there to satisfy the need for sex/intimacy, mostly quick sex.
But there are also deep and meaningful people (rare)

Of course it’s subjective. That said, why would my results be so much worse than they were 5 years ago?

 

[The Duke]

Yes by the numbers, the apps are dying. One can spend about 5minutes on yahoo finance or google AI and figure that out if you can't see if from being an actual usuer over the years.

Bumble is probably going to get sold again. That company has experienced so much turmoil over the years.

Tinder, Bumble, and Match have all experienced declining user bases that last several years. Hinge is the only one that hasn't shrunk. I would suspect its because Hinge hasn't been around for as long as the others. I also hear a lot of people say its more effective which was my experience as well.

 

[Gamisch]

Of course it’s subjective. That said, why would my results be so much worse than they were 5 years ago?

Because.
1 there are less women. A decent looking woman ( hb5 and up) can and will still be "d1ck- bombed " IRL wherever she goes. The ratio now is like 70/ 30.

2 . The women that do stay use it like a man uses Pronhub; there will always be a new (toptier) dude she hasn't entertained yet.

3. To allude to the previous point; the only men who DON'T get burned out will be men who are attractive and thus have succeeded on the apps. That means that despite the messed up ratio its STILL filters toptier men from average below men; for every average man that gives up another attractive man takes his place and actually stays!.

4. The secret algorithm. By now you're probably downvoted so much that match.com( controls ALL the apps) has you in the "below average " bracket regardless of you being or not being somewhat attractive IRL . Dislike= not attractive to the algorithm. You'll probably get 97 out of 100 dislikes from women and/ or perhaps even 197 out of 200 ect, basically fecking up your online presence permanently.

The women have no incentive to like or match with you. And even IF you'd get a like it'll be an uphill battle to actually coin in your dates. 5 years ago it literally was a different game.

 

[nicksaiz65]

I’ve heard the term “dating app fatigue” going around a lot. People can argue about whether nightlife is declining or what not, blah blah blah, but approaching women in person will never die.

 

[Solomon]

People think they’ll be around forever, and maybe that’s true, but not on anywhere near the scale we’ve seen in previous years. I’ve tried Hinge, Bumble and Tinder over the last few months. I eventually deleted Bumble and Tinder as my experience was just ghastly. I believe I had one match who wasn’t morbidly obese or biologically male. Hinge was a different story. I managed to rack up 150 or so matches, which led to three dates. That said, the difference in quality on Hinge between now and 2021 was palpable. It’s just night and day. In 2021 I could consistently match with attractive women, although I admittedly did struggle to convince them to go on dates with me. In present day virtually all of my matches are average or below average. And it’s not just my matches; there are significantly fewer attractive women on the apps period, which obviously means more competition for them.

I would have a hard time recommending dating apps for any man these days, particularly if the man doesn’t have extremely high SMV. I believe meeting woman organically or through AI match makers is the future.

150 matches and only 3 dates? that's a bad clip of 0.02% seems like a skill issue (i.e. game or vetting or both)

I don't think dating apps will die per se but will be replaced by some new apps that have better AI intergration I do think in 2040 dating apps will give way to VR (virtual reality) dating apps, the tech isn't there yet but will be very soon

 

[MatureDJ]

I believe I had one match who wasn’t morbidly obese or biologically male.

What was it like when you meet up, and figure out she's a tranny? Did they have low-pitch voices? Adam's Apples?

 

[BaronOfHair]

...approaching women in person will never die.

Said activity is similar to rock and roll

it would seem

 

[Snag87]

What was it like when you meet up, and figure out she's a tranny? Did they have low-pitch voices? Adam's Apples?

Never met in person.

 

[Cheeky_James]

. Hinge was a different story. I managed to rack up 150 or so matches, which led to three dates.

Hinge definitely has the best quality in my country (AUS) vs any of the other apps.
Idk about the decline ove the years as Im relatively new to it .. but you’re 39 yo now and were 34 yo back then. Are you looking in your current age bracket or at younger women ?

150 matches is very good ( over 2-3 months timeframe was it?)
But only 3 dates is very low conversion. May be it’s a ‘process’ problem of your texting game on the app..

I can get a steady steam off Hinge , could do 2 dates a week atm.. if I had the time. Maybe more even.

I’m not always super picky tho re quality … but no fatties . Unless I’m catfished. The bulk of mid chicks and occasional hotter /sexier ones.
I’m in the mid 40s age bracket..
And I use the free version so get only 15 swipes per day or something.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Haven’t been on the apps in almost 5 years and I can assure you that this is incorrect. I still overhear conversations at places about people on OLD or even see people swiping through them.

 

[nicksaiz65]

Said activity is similar to rock and roll

it would seem

As long as there are humans on this planet approaching will still work. I’ve seen cold approaching described like a bike that you can ride anywhere. Versus an app where they could change the algorithm tomorrow or pull the app altogether.

 

[UK manc]

As long as there are humans on this planet approaching will still work. I’ve seen cold approaching described like a bike that you can ride anywhere. Versus an app where they could change the algorithm tomorrow or pull the app altogether.

The fact that just a couple of posts before yours, someone is being called out on "texting game" shows it is all ****e and destined to fail.

To be reliant on something that depends so heavily on a few words on a screen... *Shakes head* ...half of them people on there will be using AI responses.

You won't be finding quality there.

 

[Cheeky_James]

As long as there are humans on this planet approaching will still work. I’ve seen cold approaching described like a bike that you can ride anywhere. Versus an app where they could change the algorithm tomorrow or pull the app altogether.

and how are you doing in your cold approaching Nick? What is your ratio of #approaches to #dates?

Cold approach is a very tough game outaide of bars and clubs ime. I don’t believe women actually like being approached unless the guy is > smv.
They do love compliments tho..

 

[nicksaiz65]

and how are you doing in your cold approaching Nick? What is your ratio of #approaches to #dates?

Cold approach is a very tough game outaide of bars and clubs ime. I don’t believe women actually like being approached unless the guy is > smv.
They do love compliments tho..

Yeah, I’d agree with that. Tbh I don’t do very much Daygame. I’m more of a Nightgame guy because the ROI is way higher. And I’m usually going for the same night close vs numbers and dates. I don’t post many FRs on SS anymore, but my solo game is progressing along pretty well. I’m working on getting back to the same pull rates of when I had a reliable wing.

Also, I should clarify; I’m not saying OLD is bad, I’m just saying it has disadvantages just like each method(cold approach, social circle.) Every method has its advantages and disadvantages. IMO we as men should use whatever means we have access to and suit you, to get laid lol.

 

[The Duke]

Cold approach is a very tough game outaide of bars and clubs ime. I don’t believe women actually like being approached unless the guy is > smv.
They do love compliments tho..

But think about what you just said. Its the greatest filter ever to know if she is interested or not.

In person, she makes it so easy to figure out if she thinks your SMV is high enough by how she interacts with you. I have sat across the room and watched guys hit on girls without even hearing the conversation and could tell you in 30 seconds if she liked him or not. Most of the time the guy walks away thinking she is somewhat interested and he is usually wrong. He was too busy talking and lacked awareness to read her body language. It's the ultimate way to sort out the teasers from the pleasers. It takes a few minutes and if she doesn't play along then you go find another one you enjoy looking at.

Now going online and trying to do that is much more difficult because you don't have body language to rely on. And we all know to judge women by their actions, not their words.

One method is harder than the other however one requires a lot less effort and shelters you from rejection. People aren't honest with themselves nor others and thats a big problem in the dating world. You cut out a lot of that with in person approaches. Online you might be talking to 10girls and get nowhere. In person, I guarantee you I can approach 10 girls in a night and find one that thinks my SMV is high enough to fuhk me. Its the approaching 10 girls part that men fail at. Its still a numbers game. You just cut to the chase doing it in person. Most women I've dated have told me they prefer being approached in person vs. online. They get a better sense of who the guy is and its easier for them to connect to a personality. For us guys we are more visual so thats all we need, but women need more than that most of the time.

You want to talk to a girl and have sex with her within 1 or 2 hours of meeting her? Then approach her in person. Try to pull that off online, and its far more difficult. I've done it online once. After a few hours of messaging a girl late one Friday afternoon, I was in her bed at 11pm that night. Went straight to her house, had one drink on her couch, then it was straight to fuhking.

 

[Arete]

150 matches and only 3 dates? that's a bad clip of 0.02% seems like a skill issue (i.e. game or vetting or both)

I don't think dating apps will die per se but will be replaced by some new apps that have better AI intergration I do think in 2040 dating apps will give way to VR (virtual reality) dating apps, the tech isn't there yet but will be very soon

That's dark, but I can see this happening. Sooner or later AI based fakes will be indiscernible from the real thing. I wonder where this will end up.

As far as I know, software is far ahead of robotics. In 2040, a seemingly real human that is purely digital might be a common occurrence. Meaning, humans still need other humans for physical needs. But wouldn't that be totally the end of dating apps? Even assuming that some years from now it might be VR-driven?

At this point, the only way I can still see dating apps working from a technical point of view is by governments intervening in some way. But once that happens, it's practically dystopian stereotype stuff. Probably making cold approaches more relevant than ever instead? Any thoughts?

 

[GoodMan32]

The topic of whether apps are dying goes both ways: Fewer men are using apps now as well (which means less competition)

I know when I've posted on here about how online dating was easier circa 2012, I was essentially told "times have changed; you have to get with the times." Yet it would appear we're perhaps seeing a return to 2012

Anyway, I have a specific reason I chimed into this thread. I'm traveling right now. On a whim, I messaged some local woman here on Bumble. She agreed to meet up (but ultimately got cold feet an hour before the scheduled meetup). Regardless, the fact she even initially agreed to meet up is something that had never happened to me on Bumble before. Perhaps a sign of a changing market

She's fat and 20 years older than me (mentioning that because it ties into the OP's comment about "low quality"), yet for a man who's open to age gaps (and who's into fat chicks), dating apps are perhaps seeing an awakening right now

Then again, another possible factor (of why she agreed to meet up so easily, even if the meetup got revoked in the end) could be the fact I really stand out racially in the place I'm visiting, creating an exotic factor (not to mention the fact there are hardly any Caucasian men for me to compete with for the market of local ladies who want Caucasian men)

All in all, I'm willing to test out Bumble some more where I live (as well as in other places I travel to) in order to get a better feel for whether the app landscape truly is changing for the better