"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Ottocinclus

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I'm kinda new to bar approaches. So I was out last night. I order a drink at a bar, and I notice two girls next to me. Both shot me a couple of quick glances. This normally seems like a signal to approach, but they kept their backs turned toward me and just kept facing each other and/or the bar.

I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle? Tap on the shoulder? Say something louder to get their attention? Or do I even bother unless they are facing me and at least smiling?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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CornbreadFed

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I'm kinda new to bar approaches. So I was out last night. I order a drink at a bar, and I notice two girls next to me. Both shot me a couple of quick glances. This normally seems like a signal to approach, but they kept their backs turned toward me and just kept facing each other and/or the bar.

I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle? Tap on the shoulder? Say something louder to get their attention? Or do I even bother unless they are facing me and at least smiling?
Find a wingman or group to go out with. The last bar success I had was a similar situation with two women in some corner. I approached them and said my friend wanted to buy them a shot, and they accepted. That broke the ice; they joined our group for the night and ended up fvcking both of them that night lol. I had no visual cues or any of this BS IOIS I keep seeing regurgitated on this forum. Just two women minding their own business at some table by themselves.
 

zekko

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I approached them and said my friend wanted to buy them a shot, and they accepted.
Lol, did your friend know about it? Kind of brilliant if not, throws all the rejection risk on him. :)
 

Ottocinclus

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Yeah, the only success I've ever had was when I was with my "wing man." It's funny, he's pretty much an incel. I can't figure out why. He's decent looking and has his own business. But he'll approach and entertain anybody, and that's when I'd slide in. Every night I was with him I'd at least get a make out (not with him LOL).

Funny, I think he got mad about this, since he doesn't want to hang out at night with me anymore. Now I'm stuck solo. I guess it's just as well. I should find people that actually have game to hang out with, or at least people with good social circles.
 

Ottocinclus

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I'm just wondering in general, too. I watch women at bars, and it seems like they're scoping out guys and want to be approached, but when a guy they were looking at gets near they just turn away and act like he isn't there.

Seems counterproductive LOL
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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Plinco

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I'm kinda new to bar approaches. So I was out last night. I order a drink at a bar, and I notice two girls next to me. Both shot me a couple of quick glances. This normally seems like a signal to approach, but they kept their backs turned toward me and just kept facing each other and/or the bar.

I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle? Tap on the shoulder? Say something louder to get their attention? Or do I even bother unless they are facing me and at least smiling?
You just have to immerse yourself and embrace the feelings of shame, guilt, and/or fear. The good news is that anything you start, you tend to finish, so just get started. Just accept the embarrassment of the first few you do.
 

BaronOfHair

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@Ottocinclus "I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle?"

Walking up, and uttering words to the effect of "Yo", "Sup", any variation thereof is MORE underrated than deriding Bible and Koran humpers as blockheads to their faces

Give it a whirl
 

The Duke

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I'm kinda new to bar approaches. So I was out last night. I order a drink at a bar, and I notice two girls next to me. Both shot me a couple of quick glances. This normally seems like a signal to approach, but they kept their backs turned toward me and just kept facing each other and/or the bar.

I guess I should have just found a way to break into their circle? Tap on the shoulder? Say something louder to get their attention? Or do I even bother unless they are facing me and at least smiling?
I would lean in and make a funny comment then go from there. Nothing complicated but it needs to be somewhat humorous or interesting. It needs to be engaging.

Yeah, the only success I've ever had was when I was with my "wing man." It's funny, he's pretty much an incel. I can't figure out why. He's decent looking and has his own business. But he'll approach and entertain anybody, and that's when I'd slide in. Every night I was with him I'd at least get a make out (not with him LOL).

Funny, I think he got mad about this, since he doesn't want to hang out at night with me anymore. Now I'm stuck solo. I guess it's just as well. I should find people that actually have game to hang out with, or at least people with good social circles.
You should have thrown your friend a bone. Help each other out. My wing (who was great at openers) and I would figure out what girl liked who the best and try and make the match happen. I was never going to get in his way if it meant he had a better chance because he was a better fit for whatever girl we were talking to.
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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