New Study finds 50% of single people have fallen in love with someone they weren't initially attracted to

[BackInTheGame78]

Welp, there goes the neighborhood @Cheeky_James

Your entire theory falsified in a single study.

Study Finds Nearly Half of Singles Have Fallen for Someone They Weren't Initially Attracted To

It’s not always love at first sight.

www.yahoo.com

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Study was done in partnership with the Match Group OP. Lmao.

"The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University conducted its annual "Singles in America" study in partnership with Match."

And Kinsey himself was a major, major perv who included kids in his sexuality studies.

Time to feast on some low hanging fruit @Cheeky_James

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Study was done in partnership with the Match Group OP. Lmao.

"The Kinsey Institute at Indiana University conducted its annual "Singles in America" study in partnership with Match."

And Kinsey himself was a major, major perv who included kids in his sexuality studies.

Time to feast on some low hanging fruit @Cheeky_James

Well, unfortunately it's simply reiterating the things that many other studies have already said. At some point you have to accept the truth might not be what you want it to be.

 

[Cheeky_James]

well well well!
I’ll have to read through it later.
It will of course depend on the age brackets , the competition is fiercest in the younger brackets. Women loosen up /comprimise in older brackets afaik /ime.

All I can say is , when I look around here IRL I see looks matched couples everywhere for the vast majority, as a rule.

but hey mayhe it’s a cultural thing. I am in Aus after all . Not US or UK..
I would say , be mindful of the source of the data and how it’s collected. What bias is in there etc.

And I would seek real world evidence in pictures. (Not celebs btw)

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Well, unfortunately it's simply reiterating the things that many other studies have already said. At some point you have to accept the truth might not be what you want it to be.

I'm not sure what CJ's theory (referred to in the OP) is. I'm just saying Match has a vested interest in a certain narrative that will boost their revenue. Yes, women can warm to men in real life but it's less likely to happen on the apps the Match Group owns.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I'm not sure what CJ's theory (referred to in the OP) is. I'm just saying Match has a vested interest in a certain narrative that will boost their revenue. Yes, women can warm to men in real life but it's less likely to happen on the apps the Match Group owns.

Yes, the study was not about specifically dating apps, it was about if it had ever occured in their lifetime.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I'm not sure what CJ's theory (referred to in the OP) is. I'm just saying Match has a vested interest in a certain narrative that will boost their revenue. Yes, women can warm to men in real life but it's less likely to happen on the apps the Match Group owns.

exactly. It’s most likely marketing material - to encourage more men to join up a use their service Well done Billy.
My theory was personality is negotiable for women , and that women will just match and mirror the personality of a dude she has physical chemistry with at the start in dating .
She’ll play along as she is turned on by his Looks. (In most cases).

Evidence of that’s is contined in a common phrase women use

“I painted his red flags green”

and also in the oldest phrase in the book about relationships

“Love Is Blind”

 

[BackInTheGame78]

exactly. It’s most likely marketing material - to encourage more men to join up a use their service Well done Billy.
My theory was personality is negotiable for women , and that women will just match and mirror the personality of a dude she has physical chemistry with at the start in dating .
She’ll play along as she is turned on by his Looks. (In most cases).

Evidence of that’s is contined in a common phrase women use

“I painted his red flags green”

and also in the oldest phrase in the book about relationships

“Love Is Blind”

Your theory holds up in no studies done on this, but keep believing it if you must.

 

[Cheeky_James]

Your theory holds up in no studies done on this, but keep believing it if you must.

Evidence of my theory can be seen everywhere IRL. And it’s not my ‘original’ pet theory. It’s already out there in science and studies. It pretty much proven afaik. And various writers have covered it .. Malcolm Gladwell was one .
His book ‘Blink’ is a real eye opener.
(Pardon the pun)

the basis of it is called ‘Thin Slicing’.

 

[Sega Genesis]

CJ, I have read "Blink," I used to reference it quite a bit. With respect to 'thin slicing," agree with it however it entails much more than assessing a person or chemistry based on looks/physical appearance which is your theory.

It also integrates nonverbal signals such as facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, social context and other non-verbals.

With respect to your cold approach, not sure why you were so quick to dismiss @Clockwerk50 suggestions.

I am a woman who has been approached in every way imaginable from a man literally getting down on his knees, to following me around a store to various pick-up lines to initiating a spontaneous conversation in a natural and organic way.

Much MUCH prefer the last. It's not the approach that bothers most women, it's how a man approaches, his delivery.

Can you approach in such a way that it doesn't feel so contrived and forced, like you're obviously trying to 'pick her up'?

Like I shared with you how my boyfriend approached me at the party, which you admitted seemed very natural, even IF it had been pre-planned by him?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Evidence of my theory can be seen everywhere IRL. And it’s not my ‘original’ pet theory. It’s already out there in science and studies. It pretty much proven afaik. And various writers have covered it .. Malcolm Gladwell was one .
His book ‘Blink’ is a real eye opener.
(Pardon the pun)

the basis of it is called ‘Thin Slicing’.

All of this holds with surface level attraction but not after you move beyond that as being the only thing that matters.

It actually becomes less important the more you know a person.

But since your goal seems to only be surface level relationships I see why you gravitate toward that.

 

[Cheeky_James]

All of this holds with surface level attraction but not after you move beyond that as being the only thing that matters.

It actually becomes less important the more you know a person.

But since your goal seems to only be surface level relationships I see why you gravitate toward that.

well buddy.. if a guy does not get ‘surface level attraction’ as a step 1 …

He is Toast.
(Usually)

he does not get the opportunity to get to know her .. and run the longer game.?

 

[Sega Genesis]

CJ, the book "Blink" specifically thin-slicing is NOT about just surface level attraction.

>>"Thin-slicing is a psychological and philosophical term for the ability to find patterns, make quick decisions, or form accurate judgments about a person, situation, or behavior using only a very brief, limited sample of information—often just a few seconds or minutes.<<

Referring to in-person interactions not online due to all the nonverbals involved in making such judgments.

Great book! I highly recommend.

 

[Plinco]

I have a lay report that I'll add to my cold approach journal that touches on this topic. There are traits that a woman can have that make her attractive other than her looks; with that said, it's still very important to have standards that fit with your sexual/relationship needs.




"Sex is one of the most important aspects of man's life and, therefore, must never be approached lightly or casually. A sexual relationship is proper only on the ground of the highest values one can find in a human being. Sex must not be anything other than a response to values. And that is why I consider promiscuity immoral. Not because sex is evil, but because sex is too good and too important . . . ."

--Ayn Rand

 

[BackInTheGame78]

well buddy.. if a guy does not get ‘surface level attraction’ as a step 1 …

He is Toast.
(Usually)

he does not get the opportunity to get to know her .. and run the longer game.?

I'm not talking about OLD. OLD is literally set up to be a human experiment in what you are talking about. I fully agree that you are toast on OLD most times if the woman doesn't find you immediately attractive.

I am talking about things like social circles or friend groups where you see the other person over and over again over time and in different situations.

 

[Cheeky_James]

CJ, I have read "Blink," I used to reference it quite a bit. With respect to 'thin slicing," agree with it however it entails much more than assessing a person or chemistry based on looks/physical appearance which is your theory.

It also integrates nonverbal signals such as facial expressions, body language, tone of voice, social context and other non-verbals.

With respect to your cold approach, not sure why you were so quick to dismiss @Clockwerk50 suggestions.

I am a woman who has been approached in every way imaginable from a man literally getting down on his knees, to following me around a store to various pick-up lines to initiating a spontaneous conversation in a natural and organic way.

Much MUCH prefer the last. It's not the approach that bothers most women, it's how a man approaches, his delivery.

Can you approach in such a way that it doesn't feel so contrived and forced, like you're obviously trying to 'pick her up'?

Like I shared with you how my boyfriend approached me at the party, which you admitted seemed very natural, even IF it had been pre-planned by him?

well I’m glad you’ve read it and can reference and understand thin slicing.

but your following sentence kinda muddies things a bit. Your second paragraph equates to confidence and status afaics.

which I agree with.

I think re mate selection in females it works like this

step 1 - Looks ( aka physical chemistry )

step 2 - Alpha vs Beta categorisation in his approach and first few minutes of behaviour.

which would line up with what you just said.

but also , critically in step 1 - thin slicing includes a very very fast projection of such a man’s values, that are further assessed for in step 2 .. before he even opens his mouth. Like you said such and body language , facial expressions , his movements his energy and general assertiveness and status “vibe”

 

[Cheeky_James]

I'm not talking about OLD. OLD is literally set up to be a human experiment in what you are talking about. I fully agree that you are toast on OLD most times if the woman doesn't find you immediately attractive.

I am talking about things like social circles or friend groups where you see the other person over and over again over time and in different situations.

I agree that social circle and social niche is another ‘game’.

I’m talking about The Pickup Game mainly. The quick selection game.

I don’t have as much experience with SC/SN game so ..can’t testify to that tbh.

it’s important to clarify which strategy we are discussing from the start I suppose , to prevent arguing at cross purposes.. which happens a lot here.

 

[Cheeky_James]

CJ, the book "Blink" specifically thin-slicing is NOT about just surface level attraction.

>>"Thin-slicing is a psychological and philosophical term for the ability to find patterns, make quick decisions, or form accurate judgments about a person, situation, or behavior using only a very brief, limited sample of information—often just a few seconds or minutes.<<

Referring to in-person interactions not online due to all the nonverbals involved in making such judgments.

Great book! I highly recommend.

you seem to be totally misunderstanding here
And contradicting yourself

how can this “ only a very brief, limited sample of information—often just a few seconds or minutes.<<“

NOT equal “ surface level attraction “ (

it exactly means ‘ surface level attraction’

LOL

so in a few seconds . All kinds of “value” are ‘projected ‘ onto a guy , by the woman. She’s made her Thin Slice assessment of him ..of his mate value. in the BLINK of an eye.!!

 

[Prepostereax]

This means the opposite of what you think it means

the oldest phrase in the book about relationships

“Love Is Blind”

Also, I doubt you are talking about "love" anyway, just about bonking

 

[Cheeky_James]

This means the opposite of what you think it means

Also, I doubt you are talking about "love" anyway, just about bonking

no it doesn’t mate
Just google what it means.
I really don’t get why some of you guys have the term Don Juan next to your name tbh. That’s a misnomer obviously.