First times are only once

[crowolf]

Picture this:

You meet a 26 year old girl/woman. You build some form of a relationship. Intimate, sexual, romantic. A bit of everything. You are not exclusive because it's too early. For now you simply enjoy spending time together and having fun. Especially having fun, passionately...

But you know what? She has already tried most of the things a woman can try being in a relationship. And you can't really surprise her that much. There is nothing that exciting left to try. Perhaps she was in a 4 year relationship. And tried it all - sexual stuff, romantic stuff. Every experience is connected with a memory to her ex. Or someone else.

Sure, you are a different man with your own way of doing things. But however effective your seduction is, the depth of it, along with the connection, may not have the capacity to be that profound. You can't leave the same traces, as if you are the first one doing these things with her.

If this actually makes sense, and is somewhat true, are we all doomed?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You can always be far far better in the bedroom than anyone she has ever had before.

That's your choice whether you put in the work physically, at the gym and in learning techniques to make that happen.

It's the biggest differentiator you have between yourself and other men and something most women have poor experiences with.

 

[crowolf]

You can always be far far better in the bedroom than anyone she has ever had before.

That's your choice whether you put in the work physically, at the gym and in learning techniques to make that happen.

It's the biggest differentiator you have between yourself and other men and something most women have poor experiences with.

That might be so.

But let's say it's not all about being better in the bedroom. If you want to build a lasting relationship with a woman, there has to be more than that, right?

Even the bed stuff, in my opinion, has a lot to do with your connection with her. If it's shallow, mostly based on pure physical attraction, I don't think this can compare with the fuller experience.

Also, any other guy has access to the techniques. Recently I started reading a book about Kama Sutra. And half of the things there are not even about physical techniques, but rather how to make the whole experience richer.

But my issue is - can you really outperform her mind imprints of "big" first time events in relationships?

Or maybe I am overanalyzing it, and women don't see it that way, but rather feel it anew, flooded with emotion each new time, with each new guy.

Regardless, "damaged goods" is a real thing. And this is somewhat related.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@crowolf "If this actually makes sense, and is somewhat true, are we all doomed?"

In the sense that nothing ever turns out EXACTLY as we'd anticipated/would prefer, yeah. Label that "doomed", if you wish

 

[Doctor Europeo]

Picture this:

You meet a 26 year old girl/woman. You build some form of a relationship. Intimate, sexual, romantic. A bit of everything. You are not exclusive because it's too early. For now you simply enjoy spending time together and having fun. Especially having fun, passionately...

But you know what? She has already tried most of the things a woman can try being in a relationship. And you can't really surprise her that much. There is nothing that exciting left to try. Perhaps she was in a 4 year relationship. And tried it all - sexual stuff, romantic stuff. Every experience is connected with a memory to her ex. Or someone else.

Sure, you are a different man with your own way of doing things. But however effective your seduction is, the depth of it, along with the connection, may not have the capacity to be that profound. You can't leave the same traces, as if you are the first one doing these things with her.

If this actually makes sense, and is somewhat true, are we all doomed?

Accept the things you cannot change, change the things that you can.You can't be her first everything.

That doesn't mean you can't be her best experience, her deepest connection, or the man she ultimately chooses to build a life with.
If you're constantly competing with her past, you've already lost sight of the present.

 

[Plinco]

Picture this:

You meet a 26 year old girl/woman. You build some form of a relationship. Intimate, sexual, romantic. A bit of everything. You are not exclusive because it's too early. For now you simply enjoy spending time together and having fun. Especially having fun, passionately...

But you know what? She has already tried most of the things a woman can try being in a relationship. And you can't really surprise her that much. There is nothing that exciting left to try. Perhaps she was in a 4 year relationship. And tried it all - sexual stuff, romantic stuff. Every experience is connected with a memory to her ex. Or someone else.

Sure, you are a different man with your own way of doing things. But however effective your seduction is, the depth of it, along with the connection, may not have the capacity to be that profound. You can't leave the same traces, as if you are the first one doing these things with her.

If this actually makes sense, and is somewhat true, are we all doomed?

Everybody's different. It's her first time to be with you. Don't compare yourself to other people and just be the best version of you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That might be so.

But let's say it's not all about being better in the bedroom. If you want to build a lasting relationship with a woman, there has to be more than that, right?

Even the bed stuff, in my opinion, has a lot to do with your connection with her. If it's shallow, mostly based on pure physical attraction, I don't think this can compare with the fuller experience.

Also, any other guy has access to the techniques. Recently I started reading a book about Kama Sutra. And half of the things there are not even about physical techniques, but rather how to make the whole experience richer.

But my issue is - can you really outperform her mind imprints of "big" first time events in relationships?

Or maybe I am overanalyzing it, and women don't see it that way, but rather feel it anew, flooded with emotion each new time, with each new guy.

Regardless, "damaged goods" is a real thing. And this is somewhat related.

All of that works together...the things you whisper in her ear...how you touch her and when...the order in which you do things...knowing when to do one thing versus another...knowing when to back off and let her rest so you can build it up even further the next time, etc...

There ARE a lot of other things involved, but without a doubt, the better you are in the bedroom, the more leeway you have and the easier it makes everything else for you, because she does NOT want to lose you.

 

[typical]

Picture this:

You meet a 26 year old girl/woman. You build some form of a relationship. Intimate, sexual, romantic. A bit of everything. You are not exclusive because it's too early. For now you simply enjoy spending time together and having fun. Especially having fun, passionately...

But you know what? She has already tried most of the things a woman can try being in a relationship. And you can't really surprise her that much. There is nothing that exciting left to try. Perhaps she was in a 4 year relationship. And tried it all - sexual stuff, romantic stuff. Every experience is connected with a memory to her ex. Or someone else.

Sure, you are a different man with your own way of doing things. But however effective your seduction is, the depth of it, along with the connection, may not have the capacity to be that profound. You can't leave the same traces, as if you are the first one doing these things with her.

If this actually makes sense, and is somewhat true, are we all doomed?

I'm 42, and over the last year alone I've met six women between the ages of 26 and 33 that have never had a male partner give them an orgasm !!!

In the example you've given, that particular woman is more likely to be what we call an "Alpha Widow", a woman who already found a man that ticked all boxes but, for some reason, it didn't work out. Save yourself the hassle and only date said woman for fun, nothing serious, because she will spend all her time measuring you up to a standard which in reality, may not even be real.