Can splitting the bill lose you the girl ?

[zekko]

but the man literally is the one asking the women out 99% of the time so you might as well just say the man pays 99% of the time by this logic

It's a trap, either way.
I suppose this is why women still want men to ask them out (oh excuse me, forgot my alpha manners - "tell her to go out with him"), despite feminism et all.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

If you invite someone out, expect to pay.

If the date doesn't go well... fine don't ask her out again... consider it a low-cost investment, and cheaper than ever a short-term relationship.

Unless you are in Scandanavia and then the women would find it insulting and like you are trying to gain some sort of control over her.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Again, it's nothing to do with being poor, it's to do with being stupid.

There is no level of qualification you can do to tell you whether you will have interest in a woman once you meet in person.

Nothing you do or learn or qualify about her matters until you actually meet and spend time together.

Is she responding to your texts appropriately? Is she contributing equally or more to the early stages, or are you doing all of the work? Is she blowing up your phone with good morning messages? Does she look or act like a 304? Is setting the date with her easier, or does she have a lot of "birthdays" and "work shifts" that are getting in the way? There are a lot of ways to gauge interest level before the first date.

I don't typically do that either. I take them out for a drink or for something fun like Mini-golf and a drink after or if it's nice weather out, walking and talking in a few nice parks with small waterfalls in the area and then ice cream or a drink after since it's close by.

There are a lot of alternatives, have some originality and have some fun.

Spending a lot of money when on a first date when you go on 2-4 a week is stupid. Spending money on dinner is for after you have already fvcked them.

The first date should simply be a meet up to see if you actually want to entertain spending more time with each other moving forward or not.

I have spent more money doing these "alternative" dates than I have by simply taking them to a restaurant and calling it a day.

I live in Houston, Texas, where the weather is bad 10 months out of the year, and the few good parks in the city are a pain in the ass to park at.

I'm not in the mood to drive through traffic three different times just to please some woman when I can simply tell her to meet me at a sushi bar at 6 p.m. and call it a day. I am assuming you live in Europe or some walkable metro because this is deeply frustrating in my city.

If those types of dates are where you're most comfortable, then be my guest. But I'm sick of all the hate toward restaurant dates because some simp took a 304 to Steak 48 and got owned.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Is she responding to your texts appropriately? Is she contributing equally or more to the early stages, or are you doing all of the work? Is she blowing up your phone with good morning messages? Does she look or act like a 304? Is setting the date with her easier, or does she have a lot of "birthdays" and "work shifts" that are getting in the way? There are a lot of ways to gauge interest level before the first date.




I have spent more money doing these "alternative" dates than I have by simply taking them to a restaurant and calling it a day.

I live in Houston, Texas, where the weather is bad 10 months out of the year, and the few good parks in the city are a pain in the ass to park at.

I'm not in the mood to drive through traffic three different times just to please some woman when I can simply tell her to meet me at a sushi bar at 6 p.m. and call it a day. I am assuming you live in Europe or some walkable metro because this is deeply frustrating in my city.

If those types of dates are where you're most comfortable, then be my guest. But I'm sick of all the hate toward restaurant dates because some simp took a 304 to Steak 48 and got owned.

None of that means a hill of beans once you meet in person. It all goes out the window and you know within 5 minutes most likely if you are going to want to spend more time with her or not.

So going someplace for a drink doesn't work either?

 

[CornbreadFed]

None of that means a hill of beans once you meet in person. It all goes out the window and you know within 5 minutes most likely if you are going to want to spend more time with her or not.

So going someplace for a drink doesn't work either?

Sure, none of that guarantees anything once you meet in person. I agree that the first five minutes of an actual date matter way more than texting ever will.

But that doesn't mean everything beforehand is meaningless.

If it takes three days to make plans because she's only responding once every 24 hours, isn't really engaging with the conversation, and keeps saying her schedule doesn't line up, that's still useful information. Maybe she's genuinely busy, maybe she's not that interested. I don't actually need to know which one it is because the outcome is the same: I'm not going to invest the same amount of time and effort that I would with someone enthusiastic from the start.

So yes, grabbing a drink works perfectly fine. I'm not arguing against simple dates, but I will calibrate the amount of effort I put in based on the level of effort I'm getting back. I am simply mirroring the female lol.

 

[Manure Spherian]

I’ve had women pay for me on several occasions, including a 300-buck steak dinner for two.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I’ve had women pay for me on several occasions, including a 300-buck steak dinner for two.

yeah, modern women are out earning a lot of men, it should not come as a shock to anyone that more women are willing to pay. they wanted equality and they got it. if they want to pay, let them.

 

[Dash Riprock]

I just cringe when I read these posts.

My tough love gene is kicking in.

I know it's 2026 and men have gotten a lot softer and women a lot stronger, especially in the workplace. I see it every day in my business.

World according to Dash: If the man does the asking, the man does the paying at least on the first few dates. Period. Done. Over.

Anything less is really soft, demure, and VERY beta male-ish. I don't mean to be insulting but son of a b*tch, 95% of the men on this site B*TCH about the fact women don't respect them and act too masculine and all this other s*it. Well why the f*ck do you think that is? One big reason is because men don't take charge, lead, and act like men, anymore.

Honestly, asking a girl out on a date and then expecting her to pay half is as cringe as wearing dress shoes, shorts, black socks, and a white t shirt on a first date.

Good luck, gents.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I just cringe when I read these posts.

My tough love gene is kicking in.

I know it's 2026 and men have gotten a lot softer and women a lot stronger, especially in the workplace. I see it every day in my business.

World according to Dash: If the man does the asking, the man does the paying at least on the first few dates. Period. Done. Over.

Anything less is really soft, demure, and VERY beta male-ish. I don't mean to be insulting but son of a b*tch, 95% of the men on this site B*TCH about the fact women don't respect them and act too masculine and all this other s*it. Well why the f*ck do you think that is? One big reason is because men don't take charge, lead, and act like men, anymore.

Honestly, asking a girl out on a date and then expecting her to pay half is as cringe as wearing dress shoes, shorts, black socks, and a white t shirt on a first date.

Good luck, gents.

Agreed but you also have to screen for interest. As you've said yourself, the ROI has overall gone down in recent years.

 

[CornbreadFed]

One big reason is because men don't take charge, lead, and act like men, anymore.

When I leave the USA, I see how well groomed and organized the other men are.

 

[RickTheToad]

I go on my fair share of first dates and generally if a girl offers to split the bill and we've had a few drinks so the bill is non-trivial I accept the offer. My logic is that if she likes me it won't be a dealbreaker and if it is then she's going to be expensive to date as I'll have to pay for everything. Also in some cases women with morals will offer to split when they don't like a guy so it can be an indicator of low interest.

But then I was thinking to myself women have multiple options so the bar is set very high for a first date and if they are even a little bit on the fence then especially if they are from traditional cultures they can use it to disqualify men (e.g. he's probably stingy). Also I noticed that whereas a decade or so ago women wanted to be independent and pay their own way now that attitude seems to have fallen by the wayside.

Also I am in my early 40s so realistically women are probably auditioning me for more of a provider rather than a lover role.

So I am conflicted.

Depends. When I was dating, I'd always cover a drink and perhaps a tapa or such. If I didn't care for the girl, one drink and then jet. If I was 50/50 and had a full plate, I'd give it a shot. The less you care, the more they do. People, in general, want what they cannot have.

 

[viking22]

Thanks for the exchange of views.

I agree that men should default to paying for dates. Usually it is a non-issue because paying for one round of drinks doesn't break the bank and usually gives a good read.

The problem arises because a lot of women are happy to hang around for free drinks and entertainment even if they have no intention of seeing you again and can fake enough interest to keep you around. In those situations if you end up having a few drinks the bill can easily run up to $100 including tips which quickly adds up if you are dating regularly.

And in those scenarios if the woman does offer to split it creates a bit of a dilemna because if it is a test by splitting you fail but if it reflects low interest then you'd be dumb not to accept.

Perhaps something to be said for cutting a 1st date short at one drink unless its very obvious she's got high interest and there's a chance of banging that night.

 

[Bokanovsky]

yeah, modern women are out earning a lot of men, it should not come as a shock to anyone that more women are willing to pay. they wanted equality and they got it. if they want to pay, let them.

Well it comes as a shock to me because I've never had a woman offer to pay for me on a first date. I would say about 20-25% of women would insist on paying occasionally (after you've already been dating for a bit). But most women hit the pause button on feminism whenever the bill arrives. For some reason, they view free meals as their God given right. Kind of like a fourth generation welfare recipient would view food stamps.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Well it comes as a shock to me because I've never had a woman offer to pay for me on a first date. I would say about 20-25% of women would insist on paying occasionally (after you've already been dating for a bit). But most women hit the pause button on feminism whenever the bill arrives. For some reason, they view free meals as their God given right. Kind of like a fourth generation welfare recipient would view food stamps.

seems like you are presenting a beta male provider frame

 

[Bokanovsky]

I just cringe when I read these posts.

My tough love gene is kicking in.

I know it's 2026 and men have gotten a lot softer and women a lot stronger, especially in the workplace. I see it every day in my business.

World according to Dash: If the man does the asking, the man does the paying at least on the first few dates. Period. Done. Over.

Anything less is really soft, demure, and VERY beta male-ish. I don't mean to be insulting but son of a b*tch, 95% of the men on this site B*TCH about the fact women don't respect them and act too masculine and all this other s*it. Well why the f*ck do you think that is? One big reason is because men don't take charge, lead, and act like men, anymore.

Honestly, asking a girl out on a date and then expecting her to pay half is as cringe as wearing dress shoes, shorts, black socks, and a white t shirt on a first date.

Good luck, gents.

See, this kind of thinking never really made sense to me. How does paying for someone's attention (because that's really what it boils down to) equate to strength and taking charge? You are not doing anything bold or out of the ordinary. On the contrary, you are following social conventions and doing what most other men have done over the past couple of hundred years.

The way I see it, spending money on women is kind of like paying for parking. No one would do it if they didn't have to.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

Well it comes as a shock to me because I've never had a woman offer to pay for me on a first date. I would say about 20-25% of women would insist on paying occasionally (after you've already been dating for a bit). But most women hit the pause button on feminism whenever the bill arrives. For some reason, they view free meals as their God given right. Kind of like a fourth generation welfare recipient would view food stamps.

well i should clarify i NEVER do dinner dates until after we bang, so i can't comment on how common it would be if i was doing dinner for a first date, but i wouldn't imagine them to be picking up the bill in that case. in any case, once something is established with them, it's not uncommon at all for them to pick up the tab for dinner, in fact it seems like they do it more often than not. it could be that i tend to screen hard for the types of women who are have genuine interest and not the ones just looking to date portable ATMs. that's why i think doing cheap/free dates at first are really effective for screening.

 

[Bokanovsky]

well i should clarify i NEVER do dinner dates until after we bang, so i can't comment on how common it would be if i was doing dinner for a first date, but i wouldn't imagine them to be picking up the bill in that case. in any case, once something is established with them, it's not uncommon at all for them to pick up the tab for dinner, in fact it seems like they do it more often than not. it could be that i tend to screen hard for the types of women who are have genuine interest and not the ones just looking to date portable ATMs. that's why i think doing cheap/free dates at first are really effective for screening.

I don't go for dinner on first dates either. But even on subsequent dates, they rarely pay for dinner, drinks or whatever it may be. Maybe it's got something to do with where I live, as the vibe here is approaching Miami/ LA levels of materialism.

 

[BadBoy89]

If she is:

- under 30 and hot, you pay.
- anything outside under 30 and hot, split

A man paying on first date depends on a woman’s age, looks, and biological reproduction potential. Men will mind paying for a 36 year old single mother, they won’t mind paying for a SEXY 21 year old college student.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

When I leave the USA, I see how well groomed and organized the other men are.

You also see how average to below average looking men are dating hotties in many cases far more often.