The dating market is just getting worse every year

[BackInTheGame78]

Like always. Adapt or die.

 

[corrector]

Like always. Adapt or die.

Interesting. How many children do you have?

 

[Travel memoir21]

We need to get people off their phones and social media and interacting with each other. Only then will you see more empathy, understanding, caring, and other things that foster healthy human relationships.

I think @BaronOfHair said something to the effect that our social skills are experiencing atrophy. It's the new cancer that hasn't been identified yet.

Do you own a Smartphone and do you have social media like facebook and instagram with it? Just wondering.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Interesting. How many children do you have?

Two. Nothing interesting about it, it's called that's how life works.

You can cry about it or you can do something about it.

I always am the doer, never the crier.

 

[Gamisch]

In the real world, the average man is not a king. and the average woman is not a queen... people in general are just average..



but yet, average women expect to get a man (a really good, nay... a really excellent man) just for existing. The good news is that the tide is turning... These women are not reproducing... they are sinking... more older men are getting with younger women.

You can definitely be king of your own castle, the castle you're building brick by brick. I get it, hyperbolic qoutes like this ain't for everyone. But you live once, and you either live and die as a peasant or as a king...(IMHO)

So you hetter be( come) and excellent man( a king....) so YOU get to pick instead of scraping the bottom of barrel. Sink or swim hombre.

 

[Gamisch]

No one owes another person a living or good feelings, people are individuals with their own interests. It's up to you to teach people how to treat you, or earn your own living.

Isn't that the reason the west is collapsing? Everyone lives on his little island, untill its their turn ...and when it is, they get no help or hand outs because..."no one owes no one".

Perhaps look for women that are not brainwashed by the mainstream media/culture. Conscious/intelligent ones. I believe they still exist.

Latest one I got doesn't have :
Tattoos
Instagram or Facebook
And yet hot AF, feminine and sweet.

I was stunned by just that.

What I've learned is that once YOU become a certain type of man oozing a certain type of energy, it will attract e certain type of woman...

The exist in huge numbers, but its in us as men to give them reasons to notice us...

 

[Gamisch]

Black Culture is proof!

As a ( Caribbean) black guy I unfortunately have to agree with this statement...

 

[corrector]

Two. Nothing interesting about it, it's called that's how life works.

What are they saying about the dating market?

 

[Travel memoir21]

As a ( Caribbean) black guy I unfortunately have to agree with this statement...

You should be proud of your culture, The original Hebrews and Egyptians were black…the whole world originated from The stories of a Black Man. It’s cause the elites knows you guys are the chosen people, that they decided to corrupt your youth with gangster rap and ghetto culture lol.

 

[Slowhandluke]

How can you not blame social media for creating isolation? 20yrs ago when you walked into a bar/restaurant/social venue/etc people were more likely to start up a conversation with a stranger. Now days they have their noses buried in their phones looking at "social" media. There is far less social interaction taking place than ever before. People are not practicing their social skills anymore and it shows whenever you can get one to react.

And what exactly do you call a 3rd place? Restraurants, bars, cafes, libraries? Those places are dying out because of social media and other forms of electronic entertainment that involves your nose buried in a phone.

Instead of going out to eat, losers will use their electronic device to order ubereats so they don't have to interact with a human, further eroding their social skills.

I remember a time when there weren't smart phones.. when the internet didn't exist. If you made plans, you made plans a few days in advance (or even a week). You had to wait by the phone (land line) for people to call. When events were cancelled, you showed up at the venue because you didn't know about it and wasted your time.

To find things to do, you had to look in the newspaper or hear about it on the radio/flyers. Creating events was tough. You couldn't just have a meetup.. or send a mass email. Organizing and getting people together was as tough. People's schedule changes, someone got sick,etc..

Technology has made being sociable easier. However, like all tools, it can also make people less socialble.

I still remember being one of the first few people with a cell phone and calling my girlfriend at the time to come down from her dorm. Without it, who knows? Maybe she wasn't next to her landline phone? Perhaps she's in the bathroom, etc.. It saved time and going out was so much easier.

People not being social is not a technology issue, it's a people issue. In the past, we could of blamed TV for making people less social...

 

[BaronOfHair]

I think @BaronOfHair said something to the effect that our social skills are experiencing atrophy. It's the new cancer that hasn't been identified yet.

Yeah, this is similar to obesity, crime, and most of society's most serious troubles... There's not much the government or policy reform can do to cure such things. They're matters of individual choice

@FlexpertHamilton "Do you think pendelum going to swing the other way?"

I suspect our current fervor for "safety" will wane, and that dating and mating will see something of a resurgence. To the point @The Duke and others raise though: The cat is out of the bag, in regards to technology making it possible to pretty much never leave our homes

As such, I suspect that, on a national level, we'll never again be having as much sex as we were in the late 1960s/early 1970s. Those rates began dropping by the late 70s, when broadcast TV began airing 24/,7, making it possible to go straight home from work, then spend most of one's off hours retreating into fantasy worlds. Since then, video games, cable TV, and the internet has just given us more venues for escapism

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

How can you not blame social media for creating isolation? 20yrs ago when you walked into a bar/restaurant/social venue/etc people were more likely to start up a conversation with a stranger. Now days they have their noses buried in their phones looking at "social" media. There is far less social interaction taking place than ever before. People are not practicing their social skills anymore and it shows whenever you can get one to react.

And what exactly do you call a 3rd place? Restraurants, bars, cafes, libraries? Those places are dying out because of social media and other forms of electronic entertainment that involves your nose buried in a phone.

Instead of going out to eat, losers will use their electronic device to order ubereats so they don't have to interact with a human, further eroding their social skills.

I'll give you some quick examples of what I mean by erasure of 3rd places:

• Shopping malls are completely dead
• Entertainment/nightlife is dying (it was already dying before Covid, and post-Covid it's only gotten worse)
• Coffee shops went from social hangouts to office spaces
• Public spaces, parks, plazas, outdoor venues/markets, dense urban areas are being erased or commercialized/corporitized
• Increasing suburban sprawl and car-dependency (which decreases social cohesion in and of itself)
• Erasure of mixed-use urbanist zones in cities (everything now is either single family homes or purely commercial spaces)
• Community groups/events like sports clubs, trivia nights, bowling leagues, hobby shops, etc, are dying
• Rent/homeownership is decreasing, as is car ownership, leading to even more isolation

I don't blame social media on much of this. I've recently begun to view social media as a symptom, not a cause. The reason people are using it so much now is they don't have an alternative.

People made the same arguments towards social media that they used to make towards printing press/newspapers, television, radio, telephones, video games, etc. History does not repeat, it rhymes. While I do abhor social media and recognize it as a net negative for society, I think people are too quick to blame it on everything.

I’m sorry, but this sounds a lot like the same “things were better back in the day” argument that every generation tends to make.

It is no secret that as people get older, the dating pool naturally changes and often decreases in both size and quality. A lot of that simply reflects the stage of life people are in and the experiences they’ve accumulated.

Look at my above post. I am extremely aware of this, and I despise nostalgic thinking. People will look back on the 2020s with the same reverence we look back on the 90s and 2000s today. Mark my words.

My original post though is NOT unfounded. Feminism IS getting worse. However, I don't think people realize this has been building for DECADES. Two big factors that led to this were 1) introducing women into the workforce/politics 2) the rapid adoption and availibility of birth control for women. The things that are happening today were already starting to happen in the 90s, it's just at it's boiling point now.

Two. Nothing interesting about it, it's called that's how life works.

You can cry about it or you can do something about it.

I always am the doer, never the crier.

You can fix it for yourself. By all means, you should do that. But as @The Duke alluded to in earlier comment, if you anesthetize yourself to the world burning around you, that doesn't change the fact that the world is burning around you. At a certain point, being passive and living in a bubble is only making the problem worse for the rest of society. At some point it almost becomes civic duty to realize we are a part of society and have an obligation to fix it.

As men should be developing solutions that will improve the situation on a fundamental cultural levels. This can be things as simple as punishing low quality women (by ignoring them), not participating in infidelity and destroying marraiges, not pumping and dumping mid-tier women and making them alpha widowed, and probably most importantly, being willing to take the L instead of saying or doing whatever it takes to get pvssy. I really believe one of the reasons women have gotten so bad is they go their whole lives without being told "no" and are used to weak men agreeing and affirming everything they say and do in a pathetic attempt to get a crumb of pvssy.

 

[Gamisch]

You should be proud of your culture, The original Hebrews and Egyptians were black…the whole world originated from The stories of a Black Man. It’s cause the elites knows you guys are the chosen people, that they decided to corrupt your youth with gangster rap and ghetto culture lol.

I cant do anything with stories [ theories] about centuries ago. I live in today not in yesteryear.

Black people oughtta take responsibility for the way they act. Unfortunately I can't sugarcoat it .

Truth hurts ..

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

As a ( Caribbean) black guy I unfortunately have to agree with this statement...

I always pictured you as a chill looking white guy with short brown hair and a beard, did not expect that. You should post a photo

 

[Gamisch]

I always pictured you as a chill looking white guy with short brown hair and a beard, did not expect that. You should post a photo

I try to stay somewhat private, so unfortunately I won't do that.

Im a " typical mixed yet darker skinned black dude" with native , Chinese, black and Jewish blood.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@FlexpertHamilton "I don't blame social media on much of this. I've recently begun to view social media as a symptom, not a cause. The reason people are using it so much now is they don't have an alternative"

No alternative, EXCEPT for walking past our front doors, and visiting those shopping malls, entertainment/nightlife venues, and coffee shops you mention. We may not be able to determine with mathematical certainty that the decline of "3rd places" is heavily attributable to technology granting us increased access to on-demand entertainment, 24/7, nonetheless it's a hell of a coincidence, do you not think?

Especially when one considers: This isn't even an especially "new" phenomena... At the beginning of The 20th Century, 100s of 1000s of fraternal organizations existed throughout the land, yet a few years after WW2 they'd mostly vanished, right around the same time radio, TV, and heating A&C became almost ubiquitous in the lives of most 1st Worlders

 

[Clockwerk50]

• Entertainment/nightlife is dying (it was already dying before Covid, and post-Covid it's only gotten worse

Just an FYI, nightlife hasn't disappeared; it has largely shifted from late-night clubs and bars to daytime events and social activities (see the link below).

Has the sun set on nightlife? How partying has moved into the daytime | CBC News

Look at my above post. I am extremely aware of this, and I despise nostalgic thinking. People will look back on the 2020s with the same reverence we look back on the 90s and 2000s today. Mark my words.

My original post though is NOT unfounded. Feminism IS getting worse. However, I don't think people realize this has been building for DECADES. Two big factors that led to this were 1) introducing women into the workforce/politics 2) the rapid adoption and availibility of birth control for women. The things that are happening today were already starting to happen in the 90s, it's just at it's boiling point now.

As for feminism and man-hating, I can't really comment because the manosphere often does the exact same thing by generalizing about women. To me, both extremes are loud minorities made up of people who have become resentful after bad experiences. I don't think they represent most people, and those are the ones who have trouble connecting with the opposite gender. I guess we can agree to disagree on this respect.

Regardless, the way I approach dating is that both men and women have their own red flags. Dating has always been about figuring out what you're willing to tolerate and what you're aren't.

 

[MatureDJ]

If any of you know me, you know I rarely complain about women or the state of the world and I don't concern myself with things outside of my control, like politics, social issues, gossip, whatever. But I can no longer ignore it or deny it any more, things are just getting worse every passing year. Its noticeably worse now than it was 3 years ago and 3 years ago it was noticeably worse than it was in 2020.

Hoeflation, entitlement, delusion, narcissism, feminism, and general man-hating from women are all continuing to ramp up and I don't see any signs of it stopping.

It seems to me like before long the US is going be in a similar place to South Korea with the 4B movement, with extremely radicalized political opposition between the two genders and a rapidly declining birthrate.

Do you think pendelum going to swing the other way? Or should we just sit back and enjoy the decline and ****show that is coming?

I still have HopeCope that I can MoneyMax in a poorer white country.

 

[Solomon]

Like always. Adapt or die.

This, I notice the biggest issues modern men face even on sosuave is the lack of social life and hobbies, I even made a post last year how to join a social circle or create one from scratch I think 3rd spaces will make a comeback espeically with the rise of AI robots in the near future which brings me to this.....

I'll give you some quick examples of what I mean by erasure of 3rd places:

• Shopping malls are completely dead
• Entertainment/nightlife is dying (it was already dying before Covid, and post-Covid it's only gotten worse)
• Coffee shops went from social hangouts to office spaces
• Public spaces, parks, plazas, outdoor venues/markets, dense urban areas are being erased or commercialized/corporitized
• Increasing suburban sprawl and car-dependency (which decreases social cohesion in and of itself)
• Erasure of mixed-use urbanist zones in cities (everything now is either single family homes or purely commercial spaces)
• Community groups/events like sports clubs, trivia nights, bowling leagues, hobby shops, etc, are dying
• Rent/homeownership is decreasing, as is car ownership, leading to even more isolation

I don't blame social media on much of this. I've recently begun to view social media as a symptom, not a cause. The reason people are using it so much now is they don't have an alternative.

People made the same arguments towards social media that they used to make towards printing press/newspapers, television, radio, telephones, video games, etc. History does not repeat, it rhymes. While I do abhor social media and recognize it as a net negative for society, I think people are too quick to blame it on everything.

I totally agree with you but I think 3rd spaces will make a comeback some are coming back now, look at the popularity of running clubs that has exploded in the last couple years.

Running clubs have exploded so much now that they have turned into "Sex Clubs" or "Sex Cults" where fit people hook up with other fit people (cause ain't a lot of obese in these running clubs). This type of dynamic is true where you have a large diverse group of men and women who are horny i.e., dance clubs like salsa, animee conventions etc

I think once AI robots explode more in a pubcil capacity people who crave human connection will also explode with 3rd paces again. You're seeing a rise of people too limitng their social media use or boycotting it.I know so many people who don't use facebook (except for maybe facebook dating) or X or other social media apps because they are so toxic

 

[Prepostereax]

The "dating market" per se has always been messed up.
Which is to say, the cream continually gets skimmed off and what remains is the sludge.
OLD merely amplifies this effect, because it enlarges the pool, or cesspit, without improving the quality.

Maybe, OP, just Maybe, you might be growing out of it?

I'd come to realise, around age 30, that the "dating market" no longer interested me.
This is pre-OLD, the dating market back then being bars clubs parties and resorts.

It was more a progression than a revelation.
That is, way before then, I'd already figured out that the sorts of skanks found in biker bars and the most notorious meat markets weren't to my taste.

I had plenty enough opportunities through social circles, parties and travel.
But eventually I became aware that most of those encounters turn out to be wastes of time and effort.

Strangely enough, it was when I stopped looking / wanting, that I was getting, or maybe simply noticing, increased attention.
And I could vet for quality.