Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

Read more...

the appeal of narcisists and sociopats

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

Read more...

tesla8520

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2024
Messages
248
Reaction score
87
Do you mean that women are actually settling down?
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
3,142
Reaction score
3,655
Location
US
Women aren't directly attracted to narcissists and sociopaths they're attracted to qualities that those men tend to possess ie rock-solid frames.
 

tesla8520

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2024
Messages
248
Reaction score
87
rock-solid frames.
I agree with you.
And I also think these rock-solid frames don't come from a place of security, but insecurity.
For us men, all that matters is understanding where that security comes from.
But I don't think women can tell the difference.
 

FlexpertHamilton

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 10, 2020
Messages
3,142
Reaction score
3,655
Location
US
I agree with you.
And I also think these rock-solid frames don't come from a place of security, but insecurity.
For us men, all that matters is understanding where that security comes from.
But I don't think women can tell the difference.
That's the most frustrating part. Women don't really understand men on a fundamental level, due to their solipcism and projection. They only react to the behaviors and then make up post-hoc explainations in order to convince themselves they've "figured him out".

While it is true that woman can sniff out insecurity/neediness etc, I think they are equally likely to get blindsided by a man who completely controls the frame. I'm convinced now that frame control (and it's primary downstream effect, compliance) is the single important factor for maintaining attraction and respect.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

tesla8520

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2024
Messages
248
Reaction score
87
They only react to the behaviors and then make up post-hoc explainations in order to convince themselves they've "figured him out".
This is interesting! Do you have examples?
I'm convinced now that frame control (and it's primary downstream effect, compliance) is the single important factor for maintaining attraction and respect.


It is! But there's something to add. When a woman cheats on the man who has had the most emotional power in her life, and then, they eventually keep the couple, she may still be controlled by his frame, but in my opinion there's no longer any admiration. There may be respect for the situation, but not admiration or desire.

also, from personal experience, if you're a man that can control the frame with a specific woman, this doesn't mean that will work with another one too. Curious about your experience on this
 

BaronOfHair

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 14, 2024
Messages
5,535
Reaction score
3,011
Age
37
Given the state most of us are in today, a fellow like this

Seems like top-of-the-line mating
 
Top