BPH
Master Don Juan
...from my 60-day ban.
As some of you may remember, I got into a back-and-forth with another member that resulted in both of us, along with an unaffiliated third-party, getting banned for a while. You could probably figure out who it was pretty easily, but I won't discuss that here.
I'm guessing the mods saw the commotion, didn't dig too deep into who was right or wrong, and decided to put us both in timeout - understandable. However, for that reason, going forward, if you have an issue with me that I'm trying to move on from: whether by blocking, ignoring, asking for my thread to get locked, etc., the ONLY way I will engage with you is privately via DM. Nothing anybody says will ever offend me, and disagreements are fine, but when attacks become personal - and especially, untruthful - I'm no longer going to expend the energy necessary to convince you that you're wrong. I value being on this forum to help the guys who are as lost as I was back when I was younger more than I value the internet points I'd gain by changing your mind.
That said, a few points I want to make before getting into this story. I'll bolden where it starts if you want to skip ahead.
First, I was very saddened to read about @SW15 's passing. He was always a very positive individual, if sometimes overly analytical. He was very supportive of my coaching business in DMs, and I would've liked to meet him when I visited Phoenix. Little did I know that he was long gone before then. I'll miss him and his insights.
Second, I had only 2 members who reached out to me personally during my ban to ask what happened and when I'd be back, stating that they missed my posts and valued my input, and were looking forward to my return. I'd like both those individuals to know that I very much appreciated that outreach.
Third, even though I was banned, I did browse the forum from time to time, and saw some posts from younger, less experienced members who described small problems as if they were world-ending. @20Humble5050 you need to approach a lot more women before calling it quits. It's hard, that's why nearly 1/4 of the men in your age bracket haven't had sex in a year. @Askaladd date a woman who respects you, and by that, I mean date more women. You're only dealing with her crap because you don't have any experience to compare her to. Basically, you younger guys need to try and suck for a while before you expect to get better, or achieve success. It's ok to fail - I've failed a ton.
Fourth, the dating coaching business I started last year is still going, but will be focused on a much higher-ticket, higher-touch deliverable. @nicksaiz65 you were wonderful to work with, and I wish every client were like you. Unfortunately, most are not, and I think part of that problem is the pain (either of their current situation, or the fee they're paying me) isn't high enough to motivate them to take action. I'm happy to continue providing advice for free, and will change my signature to link to my content uploads for those who want to watch.
Alright, so here's the story...
While at the gym during the early part of the day, about a month ago on a Friday, I matched with this really gorgeous 20-year-old on Hinge.
She was very attractive, and we ended up having a short conversation where I got her Instagram to confirm she's real, and then asked for her number to continue the conversation over text. According to her profile, she goes to school nearby, labels herself as "pansexual", and her Instagram pictures have the stylization and filters that would remind you of MySpace. She's mixed and looks a bit like a darker version of Karrueche.
Anyway, as we're texting, I'm asking if she has any plans yet for the weekend - she does not. I suggest we make some plans and ask her if she's free tonight. She tells me she is, so I tell her I'll text her when I'm back from the gym and done running my errands so we can figure it out.
A few hours later, I sit down to plan this with her. She's under 21, so I can't bring her to grab a drink, as I would normally do, so my first suggestion is late-night bowling at one of those places with light-up lanes. She declines, only stating that she hates bowling. I ask if there's something she had in mind.
She doesn't respond. Several hours pass. I chalk it up as a loss.
I decided to stay in that night. A couple of my friends wanted to go to West Chester, but it's not really a Friday spot so much as a Saturday spot, and I don't feel like going all that distance to end up home at 3 AM. And it's a good thing I did, because that Hinge match ends up calling me, late - at around 10 PM or so. As it turns out, she's on campus at U of D, hanging out, drinking with her friends in a dorm, and hadn't texted me back because she ended up taking a nap there - but she still wants to see me.
At this hour, not much is open, except for the bars, where I can't take her. I offer her some alternatives...
"Do you want to go see a movie?"
"But then I won't be able to talk to you..."
"Do you want to go to Main Event?"
"I don't want to be around all those crowds, I just want to be around you..."
"Ok...well...do you want to just drive around?"
"Sure, that sounds good."
I'm as surprised as you are. But now I'm thinking she might have some pretty straightforward intentions. I get dressed, drive over, and pick her up. By the time I get to where she's hanging out with her friends, she takes a very long time to respond or come outside, so I thought maybe she ended up just going to sleep. Thankfully, she did not. I walk up to her, greet her with a hug, walk her to my car, and we drive off...
She's pretty quiet, and most of the drive is small talk and getting her background story. It turns out she used to go to the school listed on her Hinge profile, but dropped out to take care of her mom, who has cancer, that she lives with in Philly. Her mom's boyfriend also lives with them, because her dad died when she was young. She also does not have a car and relies on her friends, like the ones she was hanging out with, to pick her up and drop her off. Her last relationship was about a year ago, with a guy.
About halfway through the drive, I decide to pull into a quiet park and do a loop, and this is where I went for the kiss, which she rejected. I was surprised, but just brushed it off, saying, "Oh, I kinda thought that's the least you were hoping for with this whole late-night drive thing". I don't remember if she had a response, but she didn't ask to be taken back, or let out, or anything like that...so I continued driving and making conversation.
A few minutes later, she puts her hand behind my head and starts massaging and scratching my scalp while I'm driving and talking to her. The conversation gets a little more flirty, so after some more time, I go for the kiss again - this time, there's still a little resistance ("I have gum in my mouth"), but she goes for it, and we make out for a few minutes before I find out the real reason she was hesitant...she asked me if there's somewhere else we could go.
Now, as I'm sure many of you are well aware, I still, unfortunately, live at home with my parents. So I tell her this, and she's fine with it, only asking if they'd still be awake at this hour (it's about 12:30 AM by now). I tell her they're probably asleep, but that the house is very messy, which she's also fine with. And so I bring her home...
I text my parents to tell them I'm coming home with a girl, just in case they're still awake. Thankfully, the lights are out, so I THINK they're asleep. I bring her inside, and as I'm walking down the hallway, I see the light in my parents' bedroom is still on - they must still be awake. Instead of bringing her back to my room, we go to the living room, turn on some Netflix, and cuddle on the couch.
It's important to note that my living room doesn't have a door - it's an open floor plan with these "curtains" over the entrance. I say this because, as we're sitting there on the couch, I hear shuffling in the hallway and see the light behind the curtains blocked out by a figure who tried to be sneaky and peek into the living room to see what the noise was. Yeah...it turns out that was my dad, and he neither read my text, nor pieced together that the only person who could reasonably be watching TV in his living room was me...
I was hoping she didn't notice - she did. Instead of being scared, the only thing she said was that she hoped she wouldn't get me in trouble. We watch the movie for a while, and start messing around a little bit before she asks if we can watch it on a TV or computer in my bedroom. I bring her to my room, put 2 and 2 together, and we end up having sex. She was a bit nervous, but after I fingered her for a bit (seriously, guys, learn this skill), she was much more enthusiastic...
After that, we made out for a bit, and she ended up dozing off. I lay there with her for a while, but I know I can't have her spend the night and wake up to meet my parents like this. I tried to sneak out without disturbing her so I could go about my night until she woke up for me to bring her home, but it was at that point she snapped awake and wanted to have sex again before I brought her home, which I did.
At this point, it's around 4 AM, so we get dressed and hop back in the car to drive her back to her friends. I kiss her goodbye, and that's that.
Over the next few days, she's raving over text about how good the sex was, calling me about how she never came that much before (from the fingering). I was feeling pretty good about that experience, and thought I might finally have a regular girl I could see, as she didn't seem to be looking for attachment either.
Unfortunately, that's not what would happen...
As some of you may remember, I got into a back-and-forth with another member that resulted in both of us, along with an unaffiliated third-party, getting banned for a while. You could probably figure out who it was pretty easily, but I won't discuss that here.
I'm guessing the mods saw the commotion, didn't dig too deep into who was right or wrong, and decided to put us both in timeout - understandable. However, for that reason, going forward, if you have an issue with me that I'm trying to move on from: whether by blocking, ignoring, asking for my thread to get locked, etc., the ONLY way I will engage with you is privately via DM. Nothing anybody says will ever offend me, and disagreements are fine, but when attacks become personal - and especially, untruthful - I'm no longer going to expend the energy necessary to convince you that you're wrong. I value being on this forum to help the guys who are as lost as I was back when I was younger more than I value the internet points I'd gain by changing your mind.
That said, a few points I want to make before getting into this story. I'll bolden where it starts if you want to skip ahead.
First, I was very saddened to read about @SW15 's passing. He was always a very positive individual, if sometimes overly analytical. He was very supportive of my coaching business in DMs, and I would've liked to meet him when I visited Phoenix. Little did I know that he was long gone before then. I'll miss him and his insights.
Second, I had only 2 members who reached out to me personally during my ban to ask what happened and when I'd be back, stating that they missed my posts and valued my input, and were looking forward to my return. I'd like both those individuals to know that I very much appreciated that outreach.
Third, even though I was banned, I did browse the forum from time to time, and saw some posts from younger, less experienced members who described small problems as if they were world-ending. @20Humble5050 you need to approach a lot more women before calling it quits. It's hard, that's why nearly 1/4 of the men in your age bracket haven't had sex in a year. @Askaladd date a woman who respects you, and by that, I mean date more women. You're only dealing with her crap because you don't have any experience to compare her to. Basically, you younger guys need to try and suck for a while before you expect to get better, or achieve success. It's ok to fail - I've failed a ton.
Fourth, the dating coaching business I started last year is still going, but will be focused on a much higher-ticket, higher-touch deliverable. @nicksaiz65 you were wonderful to work with, and I wish every client were like you. Unfortunately, most are not, and I think part of that problem is the pain (either of their current situation, or the fee they're paying me) isn't high enough to motivate them to take action. I'm happy to continue providing advice for free, and will change my signature to link to my content uploads for those who want to watch.
Alright, so here's the story...
While at the gym during the early part of the day, about a month ago on a Friday, I matched with this really gorgeous 20-year-old on Hinge.
She was very attractive, and we ended up having a short conversation where I got her Instagram to confirm she's real, and then asked for her number to continue the conversation over text. According to her profile, she goes to school nearby, labels herself as "pansexual", and her Instagram pictures have the stylization and filters that would remind you of MySpace. She's mixed and looks a bit like a darker version of Karrueche.
Anyway, as we're texting, I'm asking if she has any plans yet for the weekend - she does not. I suggest we make some plans and ask her if she's free tonight. She tells me she is, so I tell her I'll text her when I'm back from the gym and done running my errands so we can figure it out.
A few hours later, I sit down to plan this with her. She's under 21, so I can't bring her to grab a drink, as I would normally do, so my first suggestion is late-night bowling at one of those places with light-up lanes. She declines, only stating that she hates bowling. I ask if there's something she had in mind.
She doesn't respond. Several hours pass. I chalk it up as a loss.
I decided to stay in that night. A couple of my friends wanted to go to West Chester, but it's not really a Friday spot so much as a Saturday spot, and I don't feel like going all that distance to end up home at 3 AM. And it's a good thing I did, because that Hinge match ends up calling me, late - at around 10 PM or so. As it turns out, she's on campus at U of D, hanging out, drinking with her friends in a dorm, and hadn't texted me back because she ended up taking a nap there - but she still wants to see me.
At this hour, not much is open, except for the bars, where I can't take her. I offer her some alternatives...
"Do you want to go see a movie?"
"But then I won't be able to talk to you..."
"Do you want to go to Main Event?"
"I don't want to be around all those crowds, I just want to be around you..."
"Ok...well...do you want to just drive around?"
"Sure, that sounds good."
I'm as surprised as you are. But now I'm thinking she might have some pretty straightforward intentions. I get dressed, drive over, and pick her up. By the time I get to where she's hanging out with her friends, she takes a very long time to respond or come outside, so I thought maybe she ended up just going to sleep. Thankfully, she did not. I walk up to her, greet her with a hug, walk her to my car, and we drive off...
She's pretty quiet, and most of the drive is small talk and getting her background story. It turns out she used to go to the school listed on her Hinge profile, but dropped out to take care of her mom, who has cancer, that she lives with in Philly. Her mom's boyfriend also lives with them, because her dad died when she was young. She also does not have a car and relies on her friends, like the ones she was hanging out with, to pick her up and drop her off. Her last relationship was about a year ago, with a guy.
About halfway through the drive, I decide to pull into a quiet park and do a loop, and this is where I went for the kiss, which she rejected. I was surprised, but just brushed it off, saying, "Oh, I kinda thought that's the least you were hoping for with this whole late-night drive thing". I don't remember if she had a response, but she didn't ask to be taken back, or let out, or anything like that...so I continued driving and making conversation.
A few minutes later, she puts her hand behind my head and starts massaging and scratching my scalp while I'm driving and talking to her. The conversation gets a little more flirty, so after some more time, I go for the kiss again - this time, there's still a little resistance ("I have gum in my mouth"), but she goes for it, and we make out for a few minutes before I find out the real reason she was hesitant...she asked me if there's somewhere else we could go.
Now, as I'm sure many of you are well aware, I still, unfortunately, live at home with my parents. So I tell her this, and she's fine with it, only asking if they'd still be awake at this hour (it's about 12:30 AM by now). I tell her they're probably asleep, but that the house is very messy, which she's also fine with. And so I bring her home...
I text my parents to tell them I'm coming home with a girl, just in case they're still awake. Thankfully, the lights are out, so I THINK they're asleep. I bring her inside, and as I'm walking down the hallway, I see the light in my parents' bedroom is still on - they must still be awake. Instead of bringing her back to my room, we go to the living room, turn on some Netflix, and cuddle on the couch.
It's important to note that my living room doesn't have a door - it's an open floor plan with these "curtains" over the entrance. I say this because, as we're sitting there on the couch, I hear shuffling in the hallway and see the light behind the curtains blocked out by a figure who tried to be sneaky and peek into the living room to see what the noise was. Yeah...it turns out that was my dad, and he neither read my text, nor pieced together that the only person who could reasonably be watching TV in his living room was me...
I was hoping she didn't notice - she did. Instead of being scared, the only thing she said was that she hoped she wouldn't get me in trouble. We watch the movie for a while, and start messing around a little bit before she asks if we can watch it on a TV or computer in my bedroom. I bring her to my room, put 2 and 2 together, and we end up having sex. She was a bit nervous, but after I fingered her for a bit (seriously, guys, learn this skill), she was much more enthusiastic...
After that, we made out for a bit, and she ended up dozing off. I lay there with her for a while, but I know I can't have her spend the night and wake up to meet my parents like this. I tried to sneak out without disturbing her so I could go about my night until she woke up for me to bring her home, but it was at that point she snapped awake and wanted to have sex again before I brought her home, which I did.
At this point, it's around 4 AM, so we get dressed and hop back in the car to drive her back to her friends. I kiss her goodbye, and that's that.
Over the next few days, she's raving over text about how good the sex was, calling me about how she never came that much before (from the fingering). I was feeling pretty good about that experience, and thought I might finally have a regular girl I could see, as she didn't seem to be looking for attachment either.
Unfortunately, that's not what would happen...
