"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Approaching chicks at college bar
- Thread starter revannt
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
Plinco
Master Don Juan
Most likely they will be in groups, so you'll have to introduce yourself to the whole group enough to make them all feel comfortable with you, then you'll try to pull her away for a dance or to get her number.
ok respectufully how the actual **** is this possible, you're expecting me to go to the group and like basically 1v4 them??? unless you want me to go with a friend or something
Velasco
Master Don Juan
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lol. wait till you find out you not only can approach a girl in a group of 4 by yourself. but can go home with her without saying more than a few short sentences to the guys she’s with.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Plinco
Master Don Juan
I do it alone all of the time. I've done 18 cold approaches year to date so far, 96 last year, and I would say more than 80% of them were me versus a group of girls. Go straight into hard mode and you'll get better, keep at it and eventually you'll get good at it.
how many converted in lays if you dont mind me asking
how? what do you mean by this
Plinco
Master Don Juan
Zero. I'm a 2/10 in looks. The important thing is that I'm living the way I need to. I will succeed, it is going to take a lot of work though. Most likely you'll have more success than I do, if you put some effort into it.
Velasco
Master Don Juan
- Joined
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- 32
what didn’t you get? lol. you go to a college bar. and then approach a girl you like. exchange a few meaningless words to her and her friend group and then either grab an uber together or get her number and meet her another night. prerequisite is to as i’ve explained to you before is to get as good looking as possible (skincare, hair), wear what’s in style, and increase your height (there are shoes that add 2.5 (and more) inches to your height). why? because this makes approaching the girl you like easy (she’ll be smiling when you make eye contact with her) and #2 her friends won’t interfere bc they want their friend to hookup with a hot guy (unless that girl has a boyfriend). and also it makes the words you say not matter (still is your job to pay attention to her suggestions (asking where you live, saying she’s tired and wants to go soon etc) and orchestrate catching an uber).
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
so basically looksmaxxing. nice really comes back down to looks at the end of the day
RoadKing_Rabbit
Senior Don Juan
I'll make it simpler. They're basically telling you to RELAX. You're not going to be able to put 2&2 together no matter how much schnitt you read on here or in any RP author or PUA course. You have to go out and try. Work on some exercises to boost confidence if you haven't yet established a baseline.
Once you have enough imagined approaches, do yourself a favor and just go for it. You're going to screw up. A lot. You're also going to learn a lot. Most of what you're going to discover is that it won't go nearly as bad as you think it will. Imagine you're gaining experience. Because you are. Don't go in with the focus of getting laid or finding your wife and mother of your spawn.
Go in there knowing you'll learn something and experience something. You go about it that way and you'll find out that some of your "Lessons" you learn will be hands on "labs" where you can experiment. hehe. What do you want? Our approval? Enrollment in DJing 101 has a super high cost of tuition. ENTHUSIASM! You go into it like something that will suck, how fun is that going to be?
It's fun to talk to pretty ladies. That's it. It's fun to see them smile at you and lock eyes. Other stuff is fun too, but you'll get there only by trying it out. Practice talking to girls anywhere you go or just making eye contact, smiling and nodding as you walk by them. Then, when the weekend gets here go to one college bar each weekend day or night and try it out.
There's no special 'technique' that you'll use to get a girl separated from the group. Engage the WHOLE group. If they seem to be receptive, you're IN. Find a common ground with the one you're interested in. Chances are, one of the ladies in the group who you didn't think would be will be the most interesting to you. Then again, maybe you give them the ick. Bounce and try another place. Don't waste time.
when do i know when to walk away? when their not being receptive? how do i break out of that conversation
RoadKing_Rabbit
Senior Don Juan
How would you break away from this one if I said something you weren't keen on?
That's something you need to figure out for yourself. Are they all 3s on the scale when you get closer? You may just want to walk away. IF someone is straight up ignoring you (unlikely), it's kind of impossible so you don't need to worry.
If you're put off by them just get back to something else and say "Nice meeting you, I'm going to go ___." It's easier if you pick a venue that has darts, pool, or something else. Gives you an easy out. And you can start a new hobby. Then you can ask a lady while you're doing it "Hey, want to play? Why not? It's fun! You've gotta try!" etc... If you're with a friend it's easy, "I'd better get back to my buddy before he throws a fit."
Ultimately, you need to decide what you like and don't like too. It's not just about how awkward you look or how shy you are. Because once you get past the awkwardness and shyness, you're going to need to know what YOU want. And if they don't got it, they don't got it. Maybe you're looking for more than a barfly who will give it up to the first guy who asks or maybe that's exactly what you want forever? Not here to be the judge of that. But you'll need to know the tells for that kind of thing, and the only way to know is to TRY.
Travel memoir21
Master Don Juan
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.