Openers

[Sega Genesis]

I like aopening line I read from Zan Perrion
“Wow , you’re Dazzling! Who are you and why are you not my girlfriend ? “

Lol I like this too, I respond well to c0cky/funny which that is! Depending on his delivery of course; as you (and I) both said, it's not what you say but how you say it.

Any woman with a healthy sense of humor would chuckle at that, it's a great opener.

I like what @Divorced w 3 wrote too in another thread... sit at the bar, converse with bartender and those around allowing women to enter your space.

I'm actually envisioning this - you're sitting at the bar, a pretty girl enters your space, you quickly glance at each other and you say:

Wow , you’re Dazzling! Who are you and why are you not my girlfriend ? “

LOL!!!

 

[Vanderdonck]

I definitely live by ‘it’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it.’

I remember one of Zan Perrions opening lines I liked
“Wow , you’re Dazzling! Who are you and why are you not my girlfriend ? “

As it has flattery + a challenge/ frame together.
A pull-push I guess.(?) I liked that one.

you’re so my type/ you’d make a great girlfriend for me is a good angle I reckon. That’s charming. And invites some role play after .

Zans early courses have some good lines and banter.

I think it's also simply THAT you say it. Better to crash and burn having said something than nothing.

People are dying to be talked to, generally. It used to be the rule around here that women are waiting for guys to approach them. I don't think that's changed. We're more disconnected than ever. What's changed is black pill men have it in their minds that women will bite their heads off and they spread this toxic fear around.

Just don't be creepy and don't take yourself too seriously. In my single days I had many successful approaches in stores, banks, restaurants, train platforms. Sometimes I was in a hurry and I just got right to the point but kept it fun and light. None of this matters anyway so you might as well have some fun and make her laugh.

 

[Divorced w 3]

Lol I like this too, I respond well to c0cky/funny which that is! Depending on his delivery of course; as you (and I) both said, it's not what you say but how you say it.

Any woman with a healthy sense of humor would chuckle at that, it's a great opener.

I like what @Divorced w 3 wrote too in another thread... sit at the bar, converse with bartender and those around allowing women to enter your space.

I'm actually envisioning this - you're sitting at the bar, a pretty girl enters your space, you quickly glance at each other and you say:



LOL!!!

On Friday a cute 29 year old took my mustache off and drew on my face with her makeup to replace it, gave me a full goatee. So I went over to a different crew of women and discussed my new look glancing occasionally at the artist who came flying over with her friend to defend herself. Just like that my two set merged with my three set, and doing the math here, I had a five set. I got the number of the woman I liked in the three set, while the artist girlfriend and her followed us to our next location, with the friend arm locking me on her own the way over.

 

[Cheeky_James]

I think it's also simply THAT you say it. Better to crash and burn having said something than nothing.

People are dying to be talked to, generally. It used to be the rule around here that women are waiting for guys to approach them. I don't think that's changed. We're more disconnected than ever. What's changed is black pill men have it in their minds that women will bite their heads off and they spread this toxic fear around.

Just don't be creepy and don't take yourself too seriously. In my single days I had many successful approaches in stores, banks, restaurants, train platforms. Sometimes I was in a hurry and I just got right to the point but kept it fun and light. None of this matters anyway so you might as well have some fun and make her laugh.

Well yeah that’s a given . gotta take the shot and say something vs nothing.
BUT.. saying “Hey you're cute what's your name?” is to me , pretty close to saying nothing really, it’s that bland and lame. It’s also signalling “I want something” off the bat. Women aren’t stupid. no need to tell them directly and give the game away from the start. Women love intrigue.

as you said , gonna crash and burn a % of the time , may as well go for funny / bold / cheeky etc
(Solid advice and perspective in that last paragraph btw. It doesn’t matter, have fun with it)

I had a short Brazilian player buddy, he was awesome to watch. Super ballsy and funny guy. I noticed his usual line for Taller chicks was confront/ challenge them with “ why are you so tall?”
Never failed to engage them.

chicks that were leaving the Bar he’d stop em with “ Where ya goin?” Said in a bold way like he knew them and expected an answer.

I remember thinking that’s so simple but so smart the way he said it. The attitude intrigued them I reckon.

Anyway. I think this direct idea this is why day gamer guys post threads with stats like ‘1,000 approaches. 3 dates ’ honestly…they are following bad advice.

 

[Cheeky_James]

The way Michael Douglas did in Fatal Attraction.

"What brings you here tonight? I'm Dan."

You could see she warmed up to him after that and said "Hello, I'm Alex."

And the rest is history!

Great flick I just watched it again recently.

P.S. Notice how he didn't tell her how pretty or gorgeous she was? Attractive women hear this all the time, it's unnecessary and can actually be a turn off in some instances

Awesome movie and also a great study.

The meeting section convo is small talk but there is chemistry and some space for tension.
He is not hitting on her as far as I remember but there is an interest and signals in body language and definitely eye contact etc,

The following restaurant scene builds up with great indirect talk , exchanging his relationship status. availability, his discretion , and then finally the woman states it directly out in the open what is really being discussed, which ramps up the excitement and escalates it to the last remaining bit ,the location.

I like how she plays a little coy with him at that last point when he asks if she has made the decision , teasing him that she’s still thinking about it.

That’s an ideal sequencing and flow that ought to be modelled imo,

 

[Cheeky_James]

The restaurant

 

[Divorced w 3]

I thought you were talking about being sexually direct upon first approach (Mode One). Or directly asking for her number or for a date without chatting for five minutes first.

I think approaching with "you're cute (or very pretty) what's your name? I'm Plinco" is a great way to approach depending on where you are and the moment.

Personally I dislike "gorgeous' like someone else advised. It's too player-like imo and over the top for an initial approach. JMO about that, some women eat those kinds of extreme compliments up.

Approaching with "what sports do you play?" as in your example would be awkward, there's no leading up to it!

I've been approached in all sorts of ways at various places. .

The best approach is when it doesn't even appear like an approach, like in a market or something where conversations between people often happen spontaneously and naturally.

Had a guy approach once and say "has anyone ever told you you're very pretty"?

My response "No never (haha).

We both laughed after that and began chatting.

I recall another approach where he walked up to me and said "Have we met? Judy right"?

I'd never met him and no my name is not Judy.

I wasn't impolite but it didn't inspire me to want to talk to him.

So many crazy stories...

Anyway your first example is good but after you ask her her name, give her your name. If you tell her yours, it makes it more comfortable for her to tell you hers.

The way Michael Douglas did in Fatal Attraction.

"What brings you here tonight? I'm Dan."

You could see she warmed up to him after that and said "Hello, I'm Alex."

And the rest is history!

Great flick I just watched it again recently.

P.S. Notice how he didn't tell her how pretty or gorgeous she was? Attractive women hear this all the time, it's unnecessary and can actually be a turn off in some instances

In Fatal Attraction, Glen Close boiled Michael Douglas son’s rabbit alive

 

[Vanderdonck]

BUT.. saying “Hey you're cute what's your name?” is to me , pretty close to saying nothing really, it’s that bland and lame.

I hear you. IME it all depends on how I say it. Conviction and congruence are important here.

I've closed a lot of girls just saying "hey, you caught my eye and I didn't want to miss the chance to ask for your number" or words to that effect. But that's when I've been in more of a hurry and not in a long chat situation.

But if I have more time I'm definitely going with something less obvious, generally. Don't get me wrong, if the feeling hits I will say what's on my mind, but I think rather than scripting things it's better to live in the moment and react how I react. It's only lame if she makes it lame.

Women aren’t stupid. no need to tell them directly and give the game away from the start. Women love intrigue.

100%. But by that same token they know what you are after. No amount of small talk will fool her, and we are not as clever as we think. But the key is to get her engaged, laughing, and interested, because she's seen it all. They handle most of the seducing after that, anyway...a lot of guys don't see this.

 

[Cheeky_James]

100%. But by that same token they know what you are after. No amount of small talk will fool her, and we are not as clever as we think. But the key is to get her engaged, laughing, and interested, because she's seen it all. They handle most of the seducing after that, anyway...a lot of guys don't see this.

yep they know what we are after. But not how we are going to go about it. ( the interesting bit and the story for them)
I think direct game guys think that direct expression of interest ant the start eliminates ‘game playing’ her side like OP said. But women want to flex their flirt game if they like the guy. They are even posting on SM and reels etc these days that ‘flirting is dead’. Let em flex it and handle it after like you said. If a guys time gets wasted and it’s a no then that’s just the nature of it. Can’t skip it. Doesn’t work , won’t be enough comfort built. It’ll likely make it awkward after as can be seen in the infield out there on YT etc. ( unless the guy is very high in height and looks scale, tbh)

in rush and pressed for time , sure.
But guys could probably go a lot farther dropping the direct expression off the bat imo and ime if they have time.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I definitely live by ‘it’s not what you say, it’s the way you say it.’

I remember one of Zan Perrions opening lines I liked
“Wow , you’re Dazzling! Who are you and why are you not my girlfriend ? “

As it has flattery + a challenge/ frame together.
A pull-push I guess.(?) I liked that one.

you’re so my type/ you’d make a great girlfriend for me is a good angle I reckon. That’s charming. And invites some role play after .

Zans early courses have some good lines and banter.

100%

I worked on sales with this older guy who was a total crackpot in a good way that would greet people as they came in and say the craziest things to them but they freaking LOVED it and thought he was the best thing since sliced bread.

We saw them every week or month and got to know them and build relationships with them and the dude could literally say anything to them and they would think it was hilarious and if I said it I would probably have gotten fired...

I remember the one time our District Manager was in the store with us that day and this one guy comes in and he was like "Sorry I am a little late, I just got out of jail" and he looks at him and starts laughing and he goes "I always thought you looked like you belonged behind bars!" and the dude started cracking up and they were joking around...

And my District Manager and I just looked at each other incredulously and started cracking up and she was like "I have no idea how he says half the stuff he does and doesn't have people calling the 1-800 number on him"

 

[tksniper]

My thing is that why do guys bend themselves like a pretzel when it comes to openers when all women have ever said to us when they were interested was *smile* and “Hey how are you?”

To say we need more fancier openers is putting women on a pedestal and overcompensating.

 

[Cheeky_James]

100%

I worked on sales with this older guy who was a total crackpot in a good way that would greet people as they came in and say the craziest things to them but they freaking LOVED it and thought he was the best thing since sliced bread.

We saw them every week or month and got to know them and build relationships with them and the dude could literally say anything to them and they would think it was hilarious and if I said it I would probably have gotten fired...

I remember the one time our District Manager was in the store with us that day and this one guy comes in and he was like "Sorry I am a little late, I just got out of jail" and he looks at him and starts laughing and he goes "I always thought you looked like you belonged behind bars!" and the dude started cracking up and they were joking around...

And my District Manager and I just looked at each other incredulously and started cracking up and she was like "I have no idea how he says half the stuff he does and doesn't have people calling the 1-800 number on him"

deadly. Yeah cos he built up a character I guess. once that’s done he can get away with saying all the crazy wacky stuff. For sure most people are in a boredom trance and are delighted to be surprised and teased and entertained etc ..rather than the banal ‘ have a nice day ‘ . He’s bringing the value that guy.

 

[Cheeky_James]

My thing is that why do guys bend themselves like a pretzel when it comes to openers when all women have ever said to us when they were interested was *smile* and “Hey how are you?”

To say we need more fancier openers is putting women on a pedestal and overcompensating.

well this is no doubt the theory behind direct approaches. “Girls don’t put the effort in why should I ?”

because it’s our job?
It’s leading.
Like dancing, the man is expected to lead.
Set the tone. set the scene , provide some value. Etc etc.
Unless the guy is tall and very handsome it don’t worky.

or in economics terms - cos they have the supply, and there is copious demand of horny males.

Lots of evidence of it not working on video also.

it seems lazy imo this approach. And girls will pick that up 100%.

 

[Vanderdonck]

My thing is that why do guys bend themselves like a pretzel when it comes to openers when all women have ever said to us when they were interested was *smile* and “Hey how are you?”

To say we need more fancier openers is putting women on a pedestal and overcompensating.

No need to bend one's self into a pretzel. It's just overthinking.

Trying to come up with a banger opener instead of saying "hi" will just put a guy in a bad spot from the start. Three second rule.

Now, with practice a guy will be relaxed and more likely to say something charming instead of awkward. Some guys have a knack for it but others need to put in the reps.

And with the reps a guy can ALSO be more direct if he wants. A lot of it is situational. For instance I see a girl sitting alone at a bar. "I saw you sitting here and thought you might like some company." Now, I will say this with unflinching confidence and she will say yes or no (maybe she's waiting on a date or friend) but she will be charmed. My much younger inexperienced self would say it without the same confidence so she'll think he's green and awkward. Handsome yes but not matching his words, heheh. Coming in indirect ("I like your shoes, where'd you get them") takes the pressure off.

No pedestal whatsoever - just making conversation. Start with that point. Too many guys are thinking sex but it all starts with conversation.

 

[Divorced w 3]

No need to bend one's self into a pretzel. It's just overthinking.

Trying to come up with a banger opener instead of saying "hi" will just put a guy in a bad spot from the start. Three second rule.

Now, with practice a guy will be relaxed and more likely to say something charming instead of awkward. Some guys have a knack for it but others need to put in the reps.

And with the reps a guy can ALSO be more direct if he wants. A lot of it is situational. For instance I see a girl sitting alone at a bar. "I saw you sitting here and thought you might like some company." Now, I will say this with unflinching confidence and she will say yes or no (maybe she's waiting on a date or friend) but she will be charmed. My much younger inexperienced self would say it without the same confidence so she'll think he's green and awkward. Handsome yes but not matching his words, heheh. Coming in indirect ("I like your shoes, where'd you get them") takes the pressure off.

No pedestal whatsoever - just making conversation. Start with that point. Too many guys are thinking sex but it all starts with conversation.

100% just do it

situational openers are the best

was at the gym yesterday and spoke to the woman at the desk I’ve been meaning to chat up

I had five minutes before pickleball and it was simply, do I want to sit on a couch or do I want to go chat this woman up that catches my eye every day

went over and said ‘so what happened yesterday with that guy in the lobby that the cops were out’ … she told me and then told me another story, looked in my eyes the whole time, I have incredible blue eyes hers are brown so I just kept looking back, and then I said thanks for keeping me occupied for five minutes have to go play pickle ball, I’m DW3, she goes I’m Amanda, shook hands smiled and almost asked her out right there, but that’s how easy it is

 

[characternote]

good posts by @Cheeky_James
Good to to see as The only 2 or 3 posters whose posts I bothered to read or whose views I was interested in (and who I shared many DM's with) left the forum in the last year or so, so I get bored here now lol

 

[Bigpapa]

good posts by @Cheeky_James
Good to to see as The only 2 or 3 posters whose posts I bothered to read or whose views I was interested in (and who I shared many DM's with) left the forum in the last year or so, so I get bored here now lol

Who are those?

I miss razorsharp, good dude but he was banned for some reason

also Velasco … guess that it is difficult for quality guys to remain active on a forum where a decent amount are keyboard jockeys or trolls …

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Who are those?

I miss razorsharp, good dude but he was banned for some reason

also Velasco … guess that it is difficult for quality guys to remain active on a forum where a decent amount are keyboard jockeys or trolls …

Speaking of "keyboard jockeys or trolls", you know RazorRambo admitted being full of sh1t, right? He even asked to be banned.

 

[Bigpapa]

Speaking of "trolls" you know RazorRambo admitted being full of sh1t, right?

Have no idea who is razor Rambo, razor sharp was a good member though. Lot’s of razors here haha

 

[characternote]

Who are those?

I miss razorsharp, good dude but he was banned for some reason

also Velasco … guess that it is difficult for quality guys to remain active on a forum where a decent amount are keyboard jockeys or trolls …

yeah, velasco.
And also mikeDee (Can't even be sure that was his name. He deleted his account so can't even check my DM's lol)

"18 year old stunner should be very easy for any man over 45 as you have so much more life experience and confidence" Anyone who writes something like that, evne if they are very respected, I know that they are not out there approaching these girls lol

Speaking of "keyboard jockeys or trolls" you know RazorRambo admitted being full of sh1t, right?

guessing he's talking about someone else? razorRambo was indeed full of sh1t, and worryingly only me and 'murk' seemed to realise it! I have no idea how nobody else realised lol. Amazing that it took him to confess before people could see it!! it was so damn obvious!