When I mention the risk of crossing paths with a woman after a rejection
The scenarios that you mention have some crucial differences between each other. It's important to point those out.
The majority of males hitting on women in the scenarios you mention have a fatal flaw. It is scarcity mentality. Men who hit on women in most of those scenarios are not properly socialized and their own SMVs are too low. These are men who aren't meeting enough women through legitimate means of meeting women and then consider some low probability scenarios. You only mentioned 1 scenario that a man with a true abundance mentality would use in order to meet women of the scenarios you listed.
I don't recommend men use their apartment complexes or condo complexes for finding dates. That's the definition of crapping where you eat. It might be possible in some larger complexes (200+ units) but it's still improbable and still not the best idea.
In larger apartment or condo communities (I would call that 200+ units), you might be able to justify dating someone in the complex under one of 2 scenarios.
- If you are in a mid-rise or high rise building (4+ stories), the woman lives on a different floor as you do, and you're not likely to ever go to that floor. It's still possible you might run into her in common areas, but some men are comfortable with that risk level, especially if you're only seeing her 1-2 times a month at best.
- If you are in a complex of garden style buildings (multiple 1-3 story buildings), the woman lives a few buildings away and you're not likely to see her walking to/from your car. Like the last scenario, it's still possible to see her in common areas but the risk is mitigated if her building is not close to yours.
In general, men who consider hitting on their neighbors are usually lacking social options from their social life in general. They are not getting out in the world and meeting enough women.
The best play for interactions with neighbors in any type of housing (including single family houses) is to use neighbors as social connections to meet potential sexual partners. That's classic social circle game.
Trying to seduce co-workers is another crapping where you eat scenario. This is a bigger problem for white collar, office type workers. Men with McJobs or other lower wage service sector jobs might be able to get away with doing this because those jobs are short term in nature for both males and females.
This is a bad idea for men who want to remain at their current jobs for the foreseeable future. Hitting on a co-worker, getting rejected, and seeing that person daily until one of you quits/gets fired/gets laid off is not going to be pleasant. Additionally, having interactions with co-workers of short term sex that flames out or going on 1-2 sexless dates will also cause some tension in the workplace.
As an additional issue, it is possible to have a workplace mating interaction get the attention of the Human Resources (HR) Department. HR is there to protect the company and that could lead to an employment termination. An employment termination is meaningless in a McJob or service sector job but it is a big issue in the white collar, office work environment.
In general, men who consider hitting on their co-workers are usually lacking social options from their social life in general. They are not getting out in the world and meeting enough women.
The best play for interactions with female co-workers is to use female co-workers as social connections to meet potential sexual partners. That's classic social circle game. However, most female co-workers will be married women who lack social connections so it wouldn't be a big loss to keep the employer and one's personal life separate.
employees at businesses I frequent, employees of my condo building
There is a great thread on this forum about approaching women while they are at their workplaces while you as the male are the customer/client.
The idea of approaching women while they are at their jobs containing interaction with the general public is a topic that is somewhat contentious among men. When I think of women who work with the general public, these are the categories that come to mind of women to approach. Strippers...
www.sosuave.net
The bottom line is that it is a waste of time to hit on women while they are working. It is a low probability play, even for top tier men.
When men hit on employees while in the role of customer, it is a sign that they operate in scarcity mentality. A man with true abundance does not engage in such low probability scenarios.
public transportation passengers I regularly ride with
I don't know a lot about this scenario. I have heard stories about men using public transportation in cities like New York City or London as places to do approaches. This could be a valid scenario. I've heard of this happening on subways and light rail type trains. I haven't heard of this happening on city buses before but it could happen.
I generally wouldn't recommend this.
It is somewhat well known that men will use airport terminals and airplanes as a way to meet women too. That's slightly different and considered a higher class version of the same thing. While commuters ride subways, trains, and buses to work day, fewer people are riding airplanes daily to travel. Even people with high travel jobs would be on airplanes less than someone might ride a subway in New York City.
Airport terminals and airplanes are often a low probability play too. I have experience as an approacher in airport terminals. That could be a separate subject.
employees from other workplaces in my office building, etc.
This is the scenario of the ones that you mentioned that is the best one for pickup. Hitting on women who work in other companies in the same building is often a good idea for finding dates. Every scenario is different but it is possible to hit on a woman in the same office building and rarely ever see her again.
Let's say a man and a woman both work in a 20 story office building. The man works for a company on the 4th floor and the woman works for a company on the 15th floor. It is unlikely that they would see each other in the building regularly. The man isn't going to need to worry about seeing her every time he needs to leave his desk to go to the bathroom. In reality, in this scenario, the man might see that woman about every 1-2 months in the lobby, parking lot, or building restaurant (if that's present).
In general, most people in other companies in the same office building aren't going to be attractive enough to want to ask on a date.
Additionally, it is possible to determine with enough probing questions if someone is available without asking them out on a date. There's a reason why in an initial approach that there's a initial conversation. It's worth collecting information to see if a woman is available and if there's enough of a connection to warrant 1-2 hours (or more) of conversation with alcoholic drinks at a bar.
My crippling phobia of crossing paths with a rejecter (to the point where I haven't asked out anyone I actually knew since 2012) is part of a larger pattern. In general, when a certain scenario terrifies me, I take extreme measures to prevent that scenario. Another example would be my crippling phobia of pregnancy (to the point where I prefer a woman who's at least reached peri-menopause)
The larger pattern is problematic for many reasons and must be addressed effectively.
Apps and organized singles events are ideal for me because:
1) I know for a fact they're looking for a man
2) Even if they don't want me, at least I'm unlikely to ever cross paths with her post-rejection
There is a long thread about structured singles events being total garbage on this forum....
Mostly every unattached person has dealt with this. The potential invitation to a "singles event" or "singles mixer". It is a chance for unattached people to meet. It's not a general night out at a bar, which has unattached people interspersed with attached people. Everyone here is unattached by...
www.sosuave.net
At a regular bar, a woman is likely to be seeking new penis AND it is unlikely to ever cross paths in the future off of an approach at a bar. Additionally, the quality of women at regular bars on unstructured nights is far superior than the female audience that goes to in-person singles events.
Swipe apps are only useful for men in the top tier of looks and you're not there.
