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Thinking you'll probably get rejected vs thinking you'll definitely get rejected

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GoodMan32

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It becomes relevant to consider if this convenience store approach incident that led to a home visit has ever been mentioned to a mental health professional. He does have a current counselor.

Very few male approachers have incidents that are this bizarre.
If his current therapist has never thought to assess him for ASPD, he needs a new one!

Something sounds terribly terribly off here that goes beyond Autism.

I also think it's quite possible he was misdiagnosed initially as I mentioned earlier.

P.S. I'm actually starting to consider what some other members have stated - that he's a troll.

I'm out.
With the sheer amount of content to cover in counseling (20+ years worth of content), the specific story where a woman compared me to Jeffrey Dahmer hasn't come up in counseling.

If anything, I'd suspect I might have ASPD in addition to autism (I exhibit too many symptoms of autism for the autism to be a misdiagnosis)

The opposite sex's reception toward me is a mixed bag. While a decent amount of younger female coworkers have acted afraid of/creeped out by me, older female coworkers tend to be either fond of or neutral toward me (although there have been some younger female coworkers who've been fond of me)

Additionally, there's the story from 2023 where I acted as another dude's wingman, only for the woman to end up preferring me. Once she became alone with me, she told me she was creeped out by the other guy, yet could tell I was harmless (she said that's why she purposely made sure to create a situation where her and I could be alone)
 

SW15

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If he behaves as bizarrely out in reality as he does online, GM eliciting such reactions is less surprising than Hollywood going down the crapper over the past decade, when they started prioritizing "appealing to a more diverse audience" over churning out compelling films.
It's a good idea to keep this thread on the topic of pickup/seduction.

Any individual presenting in the same manner as GM would have a very high rejection rate. It would be a rejection rate above the rate of the typical approacher.


Tom Torero laid out realistic expectations that one should have from non-bar approaching.

What kind of realistic expectations should you have? Well, depending on your starting point, your mileage will vary. But a solid daygamer should be able to get a number from 25% of the girls he approaches. Out of those numbers, 25% should come out on dates. And from those dates, 25% should end up in his bed. If you think those statistics are depressing then look at your ratios for Tinder or dating sites.
Based on this, a daygamer would need to approach 75 women to get 19 phone numbers, 4-5 dates, and 1 new sexual partner. That's using a strong systematic approach like the London Daygame Model. I think a lot of daygamers need to approach more than 75 women to find a new sexual partner. In a better case scenario, it would realistically take most men a while to do the 75 day approaches to find a new sexual partner. Additionally, in going through this, one would probably want that sexual partner to last for some amount of time based on the effort it takes to approach 75 women in non-bar venues.

GM's rejection rate on 75 approaches would likely be above the numbers that Torero cites. There are numerous pickup artists who have had success in the field with worse rates than even Torero lays out.

GM thinks he's going to be rejected because most women reject him due to not being strong on any of the looks, money, status, or personality variables.
 

GoodMan32

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It's a good idea to keep this thread on the topic of pickup/seduction.

Any individual presenting in the same manner as GM would have a very high rejection rate. It would be a rejection rate above the rate of the typical approacher.


Tom Torero laid out realistic expectations that one should have from non-bar approaching.



Based on this, a daygamer would need to approach 75 women to get 19 phone numbers, 4-5 dates, and 1 new sexual partner. That's using a strong systematic approach like the London Daygame Model. I think a lot of daygamers need to approach more than 75 women to find a new sexual partner. In a better case scenario, it would realistically take most men a while to do the 75 day approaches to find a new sexual partner. Additionally, in going through this, one would probably want that sexual partner to last for some amount of time based on the effort it takes to approach 75 women in non-bar venues.

GM's rejection rate on 75 approaches would likely be above the numbers that Torero cites. There are numerous pickup artists who have had success in the field with worse rates than even Torero lays out.

GM thinks he's going to be rejected because most women reject him due to not being strong on any of the looks, money, status, or personality variables.
Interesting how one of the snippets you cited mentioned the bleak ratio on Tinder (I fully agree; the odds of getting laid on Tinder, even for a neurotypical man, are extremely low for the most part)

I know it's been said before that the 2012 playing field was a lot different than 2025. Even so, with the sheer amount of factors I have working against me, the ease at which I got laid through Craigslist was amazing. Looking back, my early 20s self should have known my luck on Craigslist was too good to be true (in the sense that my luck was going to eventually run out)
 

BaronOfHair

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It's a good idea to keep this thread on the topic of pickup/seduction
And like most of GM's threads, that's never been the been the topic. His mission consists entirely of concocting rationalizations for why he's unable to get his needs and desires met. He could easily stop presenting in whatever manner increases his prospects for rejection
 

SW15

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I know it's been said before that the 2012 playing field was a lot different than 2025.
The early 2010s was not a mating paradise. It wasn't. The mating environment was already in a state of decline in 2012.

2012 would have been a more challenging mating environment than 1992.

By 2012, smartphones were already common. Social media had been around. Online dating websites got de-stigmatized in the mid-2000s and women were already accustomed to the abundance from that as more and more women started to use it.

By 2012, both tech methods and in person methods of starting interactions had declined since the 1990s.
 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

BaronOfHair

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The early 2010s was not a mating paradise. It wasn't. The mating environment was already in a state of decline in 2012.

2012 would have been a more challenging mating environment than 1992.

By 2012, smartphones were already common. Social media had been around. Online dating websites got de-stigmatized in the mid-2000s and women were already accustomed to the abundance from that as more and more women started to use it.

By 2012, both tech methods and in person methods of starting interactions had declined since the 1990s.
The mating environment is inevitably subject the ills plaguing society at large. The 2000s and early 10s were definitely a less socially constrictive environment than the one we've been immersed in for the last decade, fine

The only way out of this clusterf-ck we're in now though is though. GM has the opportunity to be part of the proverbial tip of the spear. More of us participating in public life, by extension demolishing stereotypes about men as schleps and societal dregs, will move us forward in ways heretofore unimagined
 

Vanderdonck

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The thread title is only allowed to be so long. I will explain more on my post.

In my latest counseling session, my counselor put words in my mouth. She accused me of thinking "I've been rejected before, therefore the odds of me getting rejected any time I shoot my shot from here on out are 100%"

Interestingly, posters on here have accused me of thinking that too.

Here's the thing though: I've never said (either on here or in counseling) I have a 100% chance of rejection with every woman from here on out.

My logic is more along the lines of "I've been rejected nearly every time, even in instances where I genuinely thought there was interest on the girl/woman's part. Therefore, I have every reason to believe I'm probably (not definitely; probably) going to get rejected by any given woman, no matter how many signs she's given me."

In other words, I acknowledge the possibility the woman might say yeah...but at the same time, I'm good enough at pattern recognition I can deduce what the outcome will probably be.

Is it reasonable for a guy with my track record to think he'll probably get rejected?
Your brain will listen to you and adjust accordingly no matter what you tell it. So it might as well be positive.
 

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And like most of GM's threads, that's never been the been the topic. His mission consists entirely of concocting rationalizations for why he's unable to get his needs and desires met. He could easily stop presenting in whatever manner increases his prospects for rejection
I'm kind of glad I stopped following around the second page. Not really sure what everyone's talking about now, but I’m assuming it has nothing to do with the premise of the first post. lol
 

GoodMan32

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And like most of GM's threads, that's never been the been the topic. His mission consists entirely of concocting rationalizations for why he's unable to get his needs and desires met. He could easily stop presenting in whatever manner increases his prospects for rejection
The latest development on this thread (the idea that I have ASPD) is a big one.

If I don't even know what exactly I'm doing to give off Jeffrey Dahmer vibes, then no, I'm not able to easily stop presenting myself in whatever manner increases my prospects for rejection.

More recently than the story where I got compared to Jeffrey Dahmer at 23, there was a time in June 2024 (right before turning 33) when a male bus passenger compared me to Jeffrey Dahmer. Apparently even those I'm not looking to get involved with pick up on Jeffrey Dahmer vibes.

The early 2010s was not a mating paradise. It wasn't. The mating environment was already in a state of decline in 2012.

2012 would have been a more challenging mating environment than 1992.

By 2012, smartphones were already common. Social media had been around. Online dating websites got de-stigmatized in the mid-2000s and women were already accustomed to the abundance from that as more and more women started to use it.

By 2012, both tech methods and in person methods of starting interactions had declined since the 1990s.
It's come up on the forum before that even though tech methods had been destigmatized for post-college adults in 2012, there was still somewhat of a stigma surrounding tech methods for college students. So, since a lot of my peers weren't using tech methods in 2012, I had way less competition on tech methods in 2012 than I do through tech methods now.
 

GoodMan32

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I'm kind of glad I stopped following around the second page. Not really sure what everyone's talking about now, but I’m assuming it has nothing to do with the premise of the first post. lol
I can give you the summary.

In a nutshell, it's come out that I probably have anti-social personality disorder in addition to autism. Which explains a lot.
 

Sega Genesis

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In a nutshell, it's come out that I probably have anti-social personality disorder in addition to autism. Which explains a lot.
.
You may possibly have ASPD.

I made the suggestion that you get evaluated, but neither I nor you nor anyone here can determine that for certain.

The only person who can make a definitive medical diagnosis is a qualified mental health professional who specializes in sociopathy..
 

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You may possibly have ASPD.

I made the suggestion that you get evaluated, but neither I nor you nor anyone here can determine that for certain.

The only person who can make a definitive medical diagnosis is a qualified mental health professional who specializes in sociopathy..
Not that I am following at all, but I would like to know one thing….how did he develop the awareness not to act like Dahmer any longer (it’s not enough to bring up in 20 years of therapy), but he doesn’t have the awareness to deal properly with social cues

@Dr.Suave / 8 pages of this on the Don Juan forum, what in the actual fvck is going on with this place. There have been warnings and bans handed out here for a lot less
 

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I would like to know one thing….how did he develop the awareness not to act like Dahmer any longer (it’s not enough to bring up in 20 years of therapy), but he doesn’t have the awareness to deal properly with social cues
I asked the same question earlier.

Something is NOT jiving with this entire situation and what you suggested earlier about him trolling has merit and deserves close consideration by the mods imo.
 

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From Mayo Clinic website:

>>Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental health condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to purposely make others angry or upset and manipulate or treat others harshly or with cruel indifference. They lack remorse or do not regret their behavior.<<

It has very little to do with lacking social cues @GoodMan32 ..
 
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Doctor Europeo

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@Dr.Suave / 8 pages of this on the Don Juan forum, what in the actual fvck is going on with this place. There have been warnings and bans handed out here for a lot less
I have been doing a lot of thinking recently. I think a new Sticky is long overdue for "Anything Else" Im gonna write it now.
 

GoodMan32

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Not that I am following at all, but I would like to know one thing….how did he develop the awareness not to act like Dahmer any longer (it’s not enough to bring up in 20 years of therapy), but he doesn’t have the awareness to deal properly with social cues

@Dr.Suave / 8 pages of this on the Don Juan forum, what in the actual fvck is going on with this place. There have been warnings and bans handed out here for a lot less
I do apparently still act like Dahmer (seeing as I've been compared to Dahmer as recently as 2024)

It hasn't come up in counseling because I don't get verbally compared to Dahmer verbatim a whole lot.

Chances are many in the outside world think I give off Dahmer vibes, however (based on the reactions some female coworkers have toward me)

From Mayo Clinic website:

>>Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental health condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to purposely make others angry or upset and manipulate or treat others harshly or with cruel indifference. They lack remorse or do not regret their behavior.<<

It has very little to do with lacking social cues @GoodMan32 ..
It's possible to possess multiple conditions.

The 2 conditions I have a diagnosis for are autism and OCD.

Autism explains why I have a hard time with social cues. OCD explains certain other behaviors of mine. ASPD (if I have it) would explain some other stuff.
 

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I can give you the summary.

In a nutshell, it's come out that I probably have anti-social personality disorder in addition to autism. Which explains a lot.
That's quite a deviation from thinking you'll probably get rejected vs thinking you'll definitely get rejected.
 

Divorced w 3

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I do apparently still act like Dahmer (seeing as I've been compared to Dahmer as recently as 2024)

It hasn't come up in counseling because I don't get verbally compared to Dahmer verbatim a whole lot.

Chances are many in the outside world think I give off Dahmer vibes, however (based on the reactions some female coworkers have toward me)



It's possible to possess multiple conditions.

The 2 conditions I have a diagnosis for are autism and OCD.

Autism explains why I have a hard time with social cues. OCD explains certain other behaviors of mine. ASPD (if I have it) would explain some other stuff.
@Dr.Suave its still happening
 

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@Dr.Suave its still happening
This whole thread seems to be a mix of Blackpill/incel/trolling disguised as DJ discussion. I have locked it and moved it to Anything Else.

@GoodMan32 consider this a friendly warning to stop posting content that actively works against the purpose Of the Forum. Good day

 

Just because a woman listens to you and acts interested in what you say doesn't mean she really is. She might just be acting polite, while silently wishing that the date would hurry up and end, or that you would go away... and never come back.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

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