"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Please, help!

manfromitaly

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Guys, I need your help, I already talked about it some time ago, there is a woman much older than me, to whom I feel a strong attraction, she is the aunt of a friend of mine, we talk and see often, she knows that I am attracted from her, she loves me, but I can't resist anymore, I don't feel at ease anymore, it's as if I were lying to myself.

I believe that she is even using me, she always asks me for help in doing certain things, I'm sure that if she reciprocated something would have happened, but this story has been going on for years now, I was thinking of getting out of her life, I'm 100% sure, it's no point in continuing, I don't feel at peace with myself.

Obviously in recent years I have dated many other women, let's be clear, I just want to get out of his life. What should I do? Should I just make myself less available or should I talk to him about it? Thank you
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Doctor Europeo

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I believe that she is even using me, she always asks me for help in doing certain things, I'm sure that if she reciprocated something would have happened, but this story has been going on for years now
Dont let her use you, especially if she´s not putting out. Dont be a simp
 

manfromitaly

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Dont let her use you, especially if she´s not putting out. Dont be a simp
Yes, exactly, this situation stresses me out, it makes me feel uncomfortable, I feel used, she's much older than me, she tells me she's not interested in young boys, but I think she's lying, I have to be true to myself, she doesn't give me what I want, I better get her out of my life
 

BackInTheGame78

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Just say "no, I'm busy" and then end the convo. She will get the hint.

You can never "be used" by another person, you can only allow yourself to be used since you are an active participant in that.

Stop blaming her and point the finger at the person in the mirror allowing it to happen.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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manfromitaly

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Get over it, she's not interested in you. Something will happen even if you get away from them, she will try to contact you, women who are interested in guys make it super easy. She's not into you
Yes, I agree, he will definitely look for me but I won't be found, I don't like being a gay friend to women
 

Millard Fillmore

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I believe that she is even using me, she always asks me for help in doing certain things, I'm sure that if she reciprocated something would have happened, but this story has been going on for years now,
have you ever made a move on her during one of these rendez-vous?

only way to know for sure is to escalate.
 

manfromitaly

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have you ever made a move on her during one of these rendez-vous?

only way to know for sure is to escalate.
Some time ago yes, I was at her house, I was leaving and we were saying goodbye, I couldn't resist and after hugging her I groped her breast, I was a bit reckless.

The thing that bothers me is that she always took advantage of the fact that I was attracted to ask me for favors, she loves me but I realize that I want something more, I'm not interested in being friends with her.

Plus I know almost for a fact that she tells a lot of lies, she says she wouldn't date younger people but I don't believe her, if she were dating a man her age I would get over it, but thinking that she could date someone my age bothers me.

Unfortunately she is the aunt of a friend of mine so in a way I had to keep in touch, but now I can't stand it anymore, I have to be honest with myself, she doesn't give me what I want and she will never see or hear from me again
 

manfromitaly

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I'll add that a couple of times she told me how she takes advantage of a couple of people for convenience, so she's doing the same thing to me, and I don't accept it.
 

manfromitaly

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The fact is that I have already decided what to do, I was asking you how. If I have to disappear without saying anything or if I had to talk to him about it
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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