Poll: Your longest LTR, how long did it last?

[ThisIsSparta]

Gentlemen, Don Juans, Seducers, Blackpillers, Redpillers, whatever pillers i am interested in LTR demographics here on SS.

 

[corrector]

9 mo max.

 

[Robert28]

4 years off and on. 1 1/2 years consistent with another girl. Now I can’t seem to make it past a month no matter what I do.lol

 

[TheEveningChronograph]

21 months.

 

[Mike32ct]

3 months max.

 

[Barrister]

7 years was my longest -- and a couple of points of interest:

1. I could still be in that relationship if I didn't mind being miserable; and

2. I should have exited that relationship probably about two years earlier than I did -- but stayed due to my daughter.

 

[SW15]

7 years was my longest -- and a couple of points of interest:

1. I could still be in that relationship if I didn't mind being miserable; and

2. I should have exited that relationship probably about two years earlier than I did -- but stayed due to my daughter.

This is what tends to happen in relationships that exceed 5 years. Relationships that exceed 5 years are often subpar to mediocre at best.

When people that exit 10, 15, or 20 year long relationships, they will say that they stayed far too long in those relationships. One of the reasons people stay too long in relationships is the children that they have with that relationship partner. However, there are also childless LTRs that last too long.

Freedom is awesome. You've found a way to get laid without being in a miserable relationship. The miserable relationship likely only included 1-2 times a month of sex for the last 2 years anyway.

 

[Barrister]

This is what tends to happen in relationships that exceed 5 years. Relationships that exceed 5 years are often subpar to mediocre at best.

When people that exit 10, 15, or 20 year long relationships, they will say that they stayed far too long in those relationships. One of the reasons people stay too long in relationships is the children that they have with that relationship partner. However, there are also childless LTRs that last too long.

Freedom is awesome. You've found a way to get laid without being in a miserable relationship. The miserable relationship likely only included 1-2 times a month of sex for the last 2 years anyway.

Actually, sex was never a major problem with my ex wife. That was still fairly regular until about the last 4-5 months when the end was becoming very imminent. The relationship, however, had trouble for a number of years for other reasons unrelated and to which aren't worth bogging this thread down with.

I think generally speaking you are correct about the 5 year shelf-life on most relationships. The differences between two people become more and and more exacerbated as time goes on and especially after the honeymoon phase officially ends.

 

[SW15]

I think generally speaking you are correct about the 5 year shelf-life on most relationships.

My idea on the 5 year shelf life of goodness for relationships has been one of my major ideological contributions to this forum.

5 years of a good relationship is a sign of a better than average frame. A weaker frame shortens the shelf life of goodness, even if the relationship exceeds 5 years. It wouldn't be unusual to see a beta male with an average frame or a weaker frame have a 7-10 year long relationship with only 3 good years. There are even long-ish relationships (like 3-4 years) where the good times of the relationship were only about 2 years.

After 5 years, most men run into problems on declining quality in their relationships. Most men also lose frame to some degree in the LTRs that exceed 5 years.

I've seen one of my friends go from a guy who had sex with many women from nightlife venues to turning into a typical beta male who checks with his wife before socializing with me. How did he go from what appeared to be an alpha with higher notch count to a typical beta? Also, I don't think his frame loss issues are uncommon in LTRs and marriages.

I've also seen other friends stay in LTRs (even childless LTRs) way beyond the duration of goodness in the relationship.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I’ve had 3:

30 years (married, stayed for the later years until the kids were legal age)

7 years and counting. Current relationship, still going strong.

5 years. Stayed 2 years longer than I should have because she was so hot.

-Augustus-

 

[MatureDJ]

It never seems to last more than a few months for me. OK, I've a few that were off & on for more than that, but only about 3 months worth if compressed down. I think it takes that long for the gal to start thinking that she doesn't want short sons.

 

[SW15]

It never seems to last more than a few months for me. OK, I've a few that were off & on for more than that, but only about 3 months worth if compressed down. I think it takes that long for the gal to start thinking that she doesn't want short sons.

You're 55+ now. If you were to date women 45+ now, they won't be able to get pregnant now anyway.

When you were younger, you might have been able to screen for women that didn't want children. However, those women are much more difficult to find.

Short Hispanic or Asian women in the USA could have been good options for you back in the days when you lived in the USA.

It's a huge disadvantage to date at your height. I'm 5'10" and I've experienced interactions with women when it was clear that they thought my height was undesirable.

 

[9-3enthusiast]

Was married from late 20s to about 50, so longest was more than 20yrs.
Shoulda got out years sooner but stayed together until my daughter grew up and moved out.
Before marriage, a couple of LTRs that lasted more than a year.

Since divorce, if it becomes clear it won't last, I get out straight away... A couple of them went for 3 months or so, but most I've bailed out within a few weeks.

There was a FWB which started during those strange months as we were coming in and out of the lockdowns (late summer 2020) and went on well into 2021, but I don't count that as a 'relationship', it was a convenience thing during strange times.

Current relationship is doing better, stands at about 8 months and counting....

 

[SargeMaximus]

14 months

 

[RickPound]

3 years. The last year I was checked out focusing on my career and travel. There was nothing wrong, I was just being selfish. She didn’t pull any shenanigans and actually hung in there. I let it fade because I was distracted. I actually shoulda put more effort in because she was a good one.

Monkey branched from that to a 1.5 year. She got fed up with my emotional distance and we mutually agreed to part ways. It was easy for me because I started cheating with a much younger and hotter (nutcase). That situationship lasted a year or so until I realized she was a psychopath.

1 year with another unstable hottie and now…

I’m single and spinning plates. Gotta take a breather before I commit and make another bad choice.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

I take the 5th on that

 

[kookdekoo]

You

My idea on the 5 year shelf life of goodness for relationships has been one of my major ideological contributions to this forum.

5 years of a good relationship is a sign of a better than average frame. A weaker frame shortens the shelf life of goodness, even if the relationship exceeds 5 years. It wouldn't be unusual to see a beta male with an average frame or a weaker frame have a 7-10 year long relationship with only 3 good years. There are even long-ish relationships (like 3-4 years) where the good times of the relationship were only about 2 years.

After 5 years, most men run into problems on declining quality in their relationships. Most men also lose frame to some degree in the LTRs that exceed 5 years.

I've seen one of my friends go from a guy who had sex with many women from nightlife venues to turning into a typical beta male who checks with his wife before socializing with me. How did he go from what appeared to be an alpha with higher notch count to a typical beta? Also, I don't think his frame loss issues are uncommon in LTRs and marriages.

I've also seen other friends stay in LTRs (even childless LTRs) way beyond the duration of goodness in the relationship.

You literally hit the nail on the head here ! I was in a LTR which recently ended. I always held the frame. Easy because I started with her purely f9r sex. She was eager to please , aggreeable and fun for EXACTLY five years. Over these five years , I gave her expensive gifts, exotic vacations and the best sex of her life ( as per her ! ). Even though I say so myself , I really banged her hard and good. Last six months however , for no famthomable reason , I wasn't as funny anymore, the desire to please was gone and arguments and drama started. The old me would have tried to appease and make extra effort . Luckily for me , I had found this forum and also read Rollo. I ended it instantly. Point I'm trying to make here : We hit it off fivecand the half years ago and the good lasted for EXACTLY five years !

 

[IKO69]

A little more than 5 years; was engaged for a year and couple of months. Fell apart because of money (prenuptial). It was meant as a test but the mention of it pretty much doomed the relationship - the relationship survived for a few months after but it was never the same from that point on. Everyday there was an argument and things became a real drag- it was a really miserable time in my life. I have nothing bad to say as I have moved on from that period - 90% of the time the relationship was really good --- we saw eye to eye on a lot and had similar interests/were kind of the same to a degree.

 

[Young OG]

5 years with my kids mom. Then she started snorting pain killers and banging other men.

 

[sangheilios]

5 years with my kids mom. Then she started snorting pain killers and banging other men.

That's too bad that happened, though I'm glad you were able to move on.