When on a Date… Sit Beside Her or Sit Across from Her?

[nicksaiz65]

I’ve heard differing opinions on this.

I get that sitting beside her lets you be more physical on the date but I hate turning my head to make eye contact the whole date lol. It just feels awkward.

On the other hand, sitting across from her you can’t be as physical so you risk the date being more platonic. But, you can effortlessly make the strong “lazer” eye contact.

I know different people have different results, so I’ll have to find what works for me. But I was curious what the Don Juans on here did.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

Turn your body, don't just turn your head.

Lolz, why not just look straight ahead and only turn your eyes?

 

[SW15]

Sitting beside her is better for first date escalation purposes. It's more difficult to do some of the pre-kiss escalation tactics when sitting across from someone at a table on a first date.

It matters less after the first date. Being beside her does help you test the waters of attraction more easily to escalate into kissing more easily.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Better yet find a place with couches, where you can turn to her right beside her, like a restaurant or bar with an outside patio and outdoor furniture.

 

[Jake_Gyllenhaal69]

Across, quit thinking too much on a first date

 

[EyeBRollin]

Beside her. The bar or a lounge booth are perfect.

 

[SW15]

pre-kiss escalation tactics

Such as?

How are you not familiar with pre-kiss escalation tactics? That's basic pickup stuff.

Anyway, before executing a kiss, you want to touch her in certain ways. Touch her arm, hold hands, maybe touch her leg or caress her hair. Some amount of what the PUAs call 'kino' is what sets up a kiss.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Kino: You can do something like tell a story - women love storytellers - you wait for a high moment while telling it and can reach over to grab her hand, forearm, shoulder in emphasis. You need to do this often and confidently, and gauge her reaction. As you’re walking together and maybe weaving through a crowd, you can “usher” her: hand at the small of the back briefly, elbow to nudge, walking through a crowded venue is perfect - as you lead and cut trail you reach for her hand behind you, 9/10 she will take it.

But seriously have stories to tell and make them engaging with highs - and points for laughter - when you have her delightedly laughing looking in your eyes - you close for the kiss, even if it’s a peck. If she remarks just dismiss is with something like “in that moment you just looked so vibrant, full of life, feminine -
I just couldn’t stop myself”.

some ideas for ya…

 

[EyeBRollin]

Anyway, before executing a kiss, you want to touch her in certain ways. Touch her arm, hold hands, maybe touch her leg or caress her hair. Some amount of what the PUAs call 'kino' is what sets up a kiss.

Mistake. Kino is groping. Don’t break the touch barrier before she does.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

Mistake. Kino is groping. Don’t break the touch barrier before she does.

Disagree, see my post above. If you’re good it just works, never has not.

 

[Zimbabwe]

Sitting besides each other is what you do on the date

Sitting across is friends only

 

[zekko]

I'm not pretending to give advice here, but I've always sat across. But I enjoy the conversation, and I like to have some elbow room.
The sit beside her bit is cute though. If I saw a couple of young kids come in and sit next to each other, I would probably think it was cute.

 

[Billtx49]

Ditto sitting across if it’s a dinner. Nothing beats a high level of personal eye contact and completely viewed facial expressions. The escalation comes later.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I just noticed how I sat beside my ex girlfriend since the first day we went out together, it was actually her to take the lead in that direction.

At the same moment wheter it was random dates or meal with f-buddies we all sat across...didnt even realize it before this thread.

Now regarding the question, I support the couch plan where you have enough proximity to escalate but at the same time enough room to move...therefore drinks are better than meals.

It may also happen that your date turns out to be a pain in the ass so the extra space comes handy to subconsciously prepare her to be dumped within 20 minutes.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

The only frame I fall into is between her legs at the end of the night.

Pickup is art, not science. You learn the components and weave them together on the fly. If all you are learning is steps as opposed to context, what happens when your quarry deviates from the script?

So many men want a list to memorize and go through and it’s not the way it works, frankly so many men are that way - I’ve tried to help many a friend and they JUST CANNOT LEARN.

She’s not a video game - everything is random - chaotic - you need to adjust by the millisecond.

It seems like going into this kind of detail, that one would fall into her frame of qualifying it. Wouldn't it just be better to say "because I wanted to".

 

[Mike32ct]

If you are seated at a bar, sitting next to her makes perfect sense.

In a restaurant booth, sitting next to her (with the opposite side of the booth empty) would feel weird/awkward to me.

 

[Billtx49]

If you are seated at a bar, sitting next to her makes perfect sense.

It’s ideal if the bar you choose has chairs that swivel…

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I’ve heard differing opinions on this.

I get that sitting beside her lets you be more physical on the date but I hate turning my head to make eye contact the whole date lol. It just feels awkward.

On the other hand, sitting across from her you can’t be as physical so you risk the date being more platonic. But, you can effortlessly make the strong “lazer” eye contact.

I know different people have different results, so I’ll have to find what works for me. But I was curious what the Don Juans on here did.

Beside. Always. Excuse for kino and esculation.

Sit and signal her to sit beside you. Compliance test always.

Moreover always pick quiet destinations and preferably darker than lighter. Movies over dinner. If you can have your own booth or something more intimate pick that.

Build W algorithms. Have contingency plan. Free association ftw. General outline. Flow state kicks off naturally after enough experience.

When in doubt always shoot your shot. Always esculate. Make your move.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

If you are seated at a bar, sitting next to her makes perfect sense.

In a restaurant booth, sitting next to her (with the opposite side of the booth empty) would feel weird/awkward to me.

That's called tension lol. I want it awkward.

Blow me or blow me out.

Take up space. Be breaking rapport and social conventions.

 

[Billtx49]

Lol, appreciate the visual Pan was that done intentionally?

I'm teasing.

Anyway, could have probably done without, but it had the intended effect of showing it works! And was good advice.

Yep, you responded …
Lmao