It is probably heading towards divorce

[Plinco]

I hate to type this up.

I made a mistake when I married this woman that I am currently with. What considerations should I take into account?

 

[Bokanovsky]

I hate to type this up.

I made a mistake when I married this woman that I am currently with. What considerations should I take into account?

1. Talk to a lawyer ASAP. Understand what the financial and custody (if you have children) implications are going to be.
2. Try to settle without litigation if you can. Litigation is extremely expensive.
3. Assess the risk of her making false assault/sexual assault allegations. If the there is a real possibility, think about how you are going to protect yourself (i.e move out ASAP).

 

[Plinco]

1. Talk to a lawyer ASAP. Understand what the financial and custody (if you have children) implications are going to be.
2. Try to settle without litigation if you can. Litigation is extremely expensive.
3. Assess the risk of her making false assault/sexual assault allegations. If the there is a real possibility, think about how you are going to protect yourself (i.e move out ASAP).

The marriage is about a year and a half, and there are no children. I don't think it should be too bad. I'm in Florida, and from what I've been reading it is nothing as bad as California.

 

[Bokanovsky]

The marriage is about a year and a half, and there are no children. I don't think it should be too bad. I'm in Florida, and from what I've been reading it is nothing as bad as California.

I don't know anything about Florida specifically but the short length of the marriage and lack of children should minimize your costs. Did she say that she wants a divorce or are you planning to tell her?

 

[metalwater]

if not already, when you tell her she will go for advice to someone. much depends on that person.

suggest you have all the paperwork ready and planned out with the attorney's help. if she can go sign the same day you tell her do it. the length of time between when you tell her and she sign your risk goes up.

it is cheaper to give her some assets now instead of any long-term setup.

 

[Plinco]

I don't know anything about Florida specifically but the short length of the marriage and lack of children should minimize your costs. Did she say that she wants a divorce or are you planning to tell her?

It's my idea, and I have not told her yet.

 

[Bokanovsky]

It's my idea, and I have not told her yet.

I would strongly suggest talking to a lawyer and figuring out your strategy before you tell her.

 

[DEEZEDBRAH]

I hate to type this up.

I made a mistake when I married this woman that I am currently with. What considerations should I take into account?

If you marry modern women you made your bed.

 

[twelveightyone]

The marriage is about a year and a half, and there are no children

That makes it a lot easier. If you don't have any assets to split I would suggest trying to file it yourself with the court if things end in a somewhat friendly manner. It will be a lot cheaper that way. As soon as lawyers are involved they can see what is in your bank account so they know how much they can get away with.

 

[RickTheToad]

As a toad who already went through this, I can tell you, file first. You want to file first since you want to be in control of the process. If you are absolutely 100% sure, file Monday. Get your docs in order and anything that you purchased while married to the female will be up for grabs; or you have the option of buying her share out. Great system, eh?

 

[Stoic]

Been through it. Not fun.

Are any of the issues fixable?

I'll go against the grain about needing a lawyer. Maybe you do maybe you don't.

How much assets do you have?
1.5 years marriage? I can't imagine alimony in your state would be a factor after that short of a marriage.

I went through mediation and it was much cheaper. I went through divorce with a reasonable woman. We had net worth of 1M that we split right down the middle. 9 years of marriage.

Just my experience.

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Get it over with

 

[RickTheToad]

Been through it. Not fun.

Are any of the issues fixable?

I'll go against the grain about needing a lawyer. Maybe you do maybe you don't.

How much assets do you have?
1.5 years marriage? I can't imagine alimony in your state would be a factor after that short of a marriage.

I went through mediation and it was much cheaper. I went through divorce with a reasonable woman. We had net worth of 1M that we split right down the middle. 9 years of marriage.

Just my experience.

Did you both earn the million dollars, or just you? No pre-nup?

 

[Stoic]

Did you both earn the million dollars, or just you? No pre-nup?

No prenup.

But we married young and had a net worth of pretty close to $0 at the time of marriage.

We both earned the million dollars, pretty evenly.

Side note about the prenup. If I marry again (it would not be to a Western woman!), I would most definitely get a prenup now that I have significant assets.

Just my experience. I actually was the one who f**ed up my marriage btw. Live and learn!

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

No prenup.

But we married young and had a net worth of pretty close to $0 at the time of marriage.

We both earned the million dollars, pretty evenly.

Side note about the prenup. If I marry again (it would not be to a Western woman!), I would most definitely get a prenup now that I have significant assets.

Just my experience. I actually was the one who f**ed up my marriage btw. Live and learn!

Advice from friend who lived and learned, prenups often do not hold up in court under certain circumstances, if there was a circumstance of you threatening to not marry her without the prenup the judge may not Honor said prenup, may be other circumstances that's just the one buddy told me about

 

[Stoic]

Advice from friend who lived and learned, prenups often do not hold up in court under certain circumstances, if there was a circumstance of you threatening to not marry her without the prenup the judge may not Honor said prenup, may be other circumstances that's just the one buddy told me about

Yeah I've read a little about this and heard similar things. I have some concerns there too. I think the thing is you have to find a way to clearly show these were solely my assets prior to marriage and never comingle new money post marriage. So if you divorce, you only lose half of everything post marriage..

 

[RickTheToad]

No prenup.

But we married young and had a net worth of pretty close to $0 at the time of marriage.

We both earned the million dollars, pretty evenly.

Side note about the prenup. If I marry again (it would not be to a Western woman!), I would most definitely get a prenup now that I have significant assets.

Just my experience. I actually was the one who f**ed up my marriage btw. Live and learn!

That's cool. If both earned the dough, then it should be more fairly split. However, even before the pre-nup, you need to insist on a cohabitation agreement; especially if you own the property.

 

[Plinco]

can you tell us what the mistake was specifically? Its just a really good teachable moment when a longtime member falters in my opinion.

Mine was a special case of stupid:

https://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/why-do-i-not-find-my-wife-attractive.269028/

If you have any specific questions, be my guest.

 

[twelveightyone]

Mine was a special case of stupid:

Don't be so hard on yourself. Look on the bright side, at least you didn't have multiple kids with her and you identified the problem pretty quickly. They say 50% of marriages end in divorce and another good percentage remain married/unhappy because they don't have the balls to stand up for themselves.

 

[bat soup]

I hate to type this up.

I made a mistake when I married this woman that I am currently with. What considerations should I take into account?

Quit your job, bang her best friend and then get her to pay you alimony.