article: I Never Want to Have Sex With My Boyfriend

[MatureDJ]

10 People Reveal How They Handle Mismatched Libidos with Their Partners

(Pssst...this is called "desire discrepancy" and it's 100 percent normal.)

www.cosmopolitan.com

my opinion: He needs to start spinning plates.

 

[AureliusMaximus]

10 People Reveal How They Handle Mismatched Libidos with Their Partners

(Pssst...this is called "desire discrepancy" and it's 100 percent normal.)

www.cosmopolitan.com

my opinion: He needs to start spinning plates.

Yup. But since is a AFC/beta (highly likely) he doesn't know how to turn women on. She has no desire for him because he doesn't (know how to) create the chemical emotional rush that women crave....

There is a huge difference between having a starfish in the bed or "wannabe porn star" for the night what will really fu'ck you properly.

 

[SW15]

Considering that this article was posted in 2015, the relationship in question is likely long since over.

Yup. But since is a AFC/beta (highly likely) he doesn't know how to turn women on. She has no desire for him because he doesn't (know how to) create the chemical emotional rush that women crave....

About 80% of men are either betas/omegas. This man was likely a beta in 2015. Most men are betas. Some betas can keep a girlfriend for a decent period of time and get laid. Others have very long periods of sexlessness. Creating the emotional rush is a big problem for betas both in sex and in relational aspects outside of sex.

He needs to start spinning plates.

He is likely incapable of spinning plates as a beta. Most betas are unable to do that.

 

[SirBigBell]

The majority of men find themselves in this position. Most women in LTRs are bored stiff sexually. What prevents them from cheating or leaving is the fear of starting over, the fear of being alone, the fear of losing a provider, the fear of losing social proof, and the fear of losing the security of an established routine.

This is why women cheat and go wild when they are away on vacation in places where nobody knows them. Away on vacation the above-mentioned fears are neutralised by the benefits of anonymity.

If you want to see the true nature of your wife or girlfriend, pay for her and a few of her very trusted girlfriends to go on a girly vacation, then send a private investigator to tail them and feedback. You’ll discover that 90% of women in committed relationships are actually opportunistic tarts!

Take home message:
Trust a woman at your own peril. Even the most faithful woman will cheat on you, if an opportunity of the least risk is availed.

 

[lost_blackbird]

10 People Reveal How They Handle Mismatched Libidos with Their Partners

(Pssst...this is called "desire discrepancy" and it's 100 percent normal.)

www.cosmopolitan.com

Very nearly the same scenario as with me and my wife only reversed.
It happens. I felt guilty too,

 

[bat soup]

10 People Reveal How They Handle Mismatched Libidos with Their Partners

(Pssst...this is called "desire discrepancy" and it's 100 percent normal.)

www.cosmopolitan.com

my opinion: He needs to start spinning plates.

Oh my god. Leave.

 

[EyeBRollin]

She’s full of ****. She needs to get over herself.

 

[returnofpigman]

Yup. But since is a AFC/beta (highly likely) he doesn't know how to turn women on. She has no desire for him because he doesn't (know how to) create the chemical emotional rush that women crave....

There is a huge difference between having a starfish in the bed or "wannabe porn star" for the night what will really fu'ck you properly.

You can be an AFC/Beta and turn women on quite well at the beginning. What you can’t do as an AFC/Beta is put these women in proper perspective in your brain. While this chick was writing this, she was probably screwing some other guy. Women cheat on guys like this constantly. They really lack any rational thought when it comes to their little princess needs. This guy needs a major brain adjustment. He wouldn’t be with her in the proper mindset.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You are once again are saying you have a hard time because your wife likes to have sex and you prefer not to? I saw in the other thread that you feel relief when she is on her period because getting out of sex with her is easier.

How long have you been married? Ages? Have your sexual dynamics always been that way or has something changed?

Do you think you are more of an asexual man/individual? Or possibly low testosterone? Just not attracted to your wife anymore either physically or because of relationship dynamics?

Would you desire more sex if you were not with your wife? Curious thoughts...

He might not want to fvck her because he lays with someone else. Its a possibility.

 

[returnofpigman]

I finally read this article so I’ll make some assumptions based on that now. Her BF has made major mistakes. First of all, he seems to live with her. She is essentially a wife now and he is in a provisioning capacity. She knows everything he is doing and she is controlling the frame.

They probably only go out with friends that are safe for him to be around (safe for her). The ”advisor” is telling her to cuddle with him to get closer, arouse him and get some warm fuzzy feelings back without letting him have sex with her. WTF? Um, yeah no. I’m going out to play pool with the guys! Cuddle yourself! There is no way this guy has ever said that. Guaranteed she goes out with her friends while he stays at home.

Girls like this are prime targets for PUAs who do not have any qualms about her cheating (There are some who do. I tend to leave this as a yet to be defined moral dilemma). When you meet a girl like this who will cheat on her BF, she will screw you crossed-eyed to release her pent up horniness.

Obviously, given the source: Cosmo, the advice given is from girl land completely ignoring male perspective. Masculinity is so buried in western countries that when it awakens from the dead it just looks scary to women and their purebred pet betas. It is better to look at the lessons being taught here than to worry about the details of Princess WannaScrew and her useless, live-in beta who probably resembles Hapsburg Carlos II. In not necessarily in form but certainly function. Sometimes I really want to thank betas for being betas. They really crank up the screw machine in women’s brains.

 

[returnofpigman]

He might not want to fvck her because he lays with someone else. Its a possibility.

I really doubt that.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I really doubt that.

Hopefully you're right. If he's lost his sexual desire that would suck.

 

[Xanderson]

10 People Reveal How They Handle Mismatched Libidos with Their Partners

(Pssst...this is called "desire discrepancy" and it's 100 percent normal.)

www.cosmopolitan.com

my opinion: He needs to start spinning plates.

Dump her

 

[Mike32ct]

Typical double-standard. If the guy was a chronic wanker and had no desire to F his partner, they’d (understandably) advise him to stop playing with it and save it for real life sex.

 

[Epimanes]

10 People Reveal How They Handle Mismatched Libidos with Their Partners

(Pssst...this is called "desire discrepancy" and it's 100 percent normal.)

www.cosmopolitan.com

Ha.... sounds like something my ex woulda written.... 25yrs together that was exactly what was going on... ultimately it ended... but i held it together as long as i could for my kids... i shoulda left long ago but the deep investment of family and kids kept me in place with hopes of change. Instead it only got worse.... but at least i held off til my kids were older. In the end my kids chose me over her... so i didnt get stuck with child support for my youngest... ex has to pay me lol.

If it gets to that point... and depending on your investment.. it is better to leave unless your tryin to live it out past child support and spousal support.. but if you have minimal investment and no kids... leave...

 

[BackInTheGame78]

The boyfriend needs to walk away even though he doesn't want to just like I didn't want to in my other thread.

You can't talk someone into being attracted when they lost it. You can only decide that of you are not getting what you need out of it to walk away from it.

Hard lesson to have to learn but one that is needed for a lot of guys, myself included.

Of course being on the outside looking in it is a lot easier to tell someone else to do it than to actually do it when you find yourself in that situation.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Typical double-standard. If the guy was a chronic wanker and had no desire to F his partner, they’d (understandably) advise him to stop playing with it and save it for real life sex.

You know it. In her situation they are understanding.

 

[returnofpigman]

I want stats on this poor little Princess. Why do I have the idea that she’s about 400 pounds?

 

[returnofpigman]

I think you guys have no real idea of what you are facing. Our culture has ruined the women. The beauty of the world. The true other nature of our species. Femininity. Be really damn careful what the hell you are voting for out there.

I quit voting and will leave the country ASAP.. I’ll come back for the revolution.

 

[lost_blackbird]

You are once again are saying you have a hard time because your wife likes to have sex and you prefer not to? I saw in the other thread that you feel relief when she is on her period because getting out of sex with her is easier.

How long have you been married? Ages? Have your sexual dynamics always been that way or has something changed?

Do you think you are more of an asexual man/individual? Or possibly low testosterone? Just not attracted to your wife anymore either physically or because of relationship dynamics?

Would you desire more sex if you were not with your wife? Curious thoughts...

I'm no longer with her. But lack of sex and intimacy due mainly to avoidance on my part played a huge role in the
failure of our marriage, it wasn't the only reason though. We split after a total of 18 years together, 7 of those married
(We're still legally married but divorce impending) I was with her from her age 18 until 36 mine 28 and 46. I'm 48 in a
few weeks and the split was in October 19 which was the last time we lived together and are now separated living on
opposite sides of the city

Went into therapy after the split, it spun me right out as my sense of order had been shattered and that had a huge
impact on my mental health and health in general where I learned after some significant time spent chatting
to a counsellor that it that I have Aspergers syndrome, I'm pretty high functioning so not crippled by autism
like some poor souls are but I do really struggle with any interpersonal communication. I use learned dialogue and
one liners to try and appear witty and sharp, this requires exhausting mental rehearsals of possible interactions.
It's no wonder I find the whole prospect of sex so daunting/terrifying. In short I really don't know how to act around
people, from eye contact to escalation to the process of arousing a woman, it's all too much to absorb and far easier
on my brain to just avoid people/intimacy/sex so that I don't put another poor woman through this.

I have managed thus far with a huge series of learned behaviours to fill the chasm of absent natural social graces.
I long to be normal but know this can never be true, I live my whole life wearing a mask to try and fit in, it's not
easy living like this. I often shut down and am prone to social withdrawal having a very small number of friends
and a small social circle. I don't enjoy going out so my wife attended things for years by herself while I stayed at
home. It all got too much for her, she is a very busy, attractive, positive, successful and vibrant woman. She tried
to work around my issues but it wore her down in the end. She has a new b/f who she's fvcing on the regular now.
I'm nearly two years since my last sexual contact which was with her and in maybe June of 2019? I have met many
women since the split, I'm in decent shape for my age and get a lot of signals of interest, but I never escalate, avoid
touching as my natural assumption is that everybody hates being touched as much as I do and I definitely never try
anything BOLD with any of these women.

That's my issue, there's loads of girls at the place I'm working currently and they all know my name and wave and blow
kisses and stuff when they see me in the warehouse (Amazon) , I have a collection of phone numbers after a short time working
there, I've literally just returned from dropping a 19 year old girl off home after work after our nightshift. I have no demonstrable
problem with platonic interactions for the most part, but anything more than that and I really don't know what is expected
of me which makes me anxious and awkward. So I never, ever make any attempt to escalate. There's a 26 year old at work who is completely up my street looks and personality wise, she is single and I am attracted to her, but I'd never demonstrate that to
her as I have no idea of how I can do so without coming across a sleaze. My default is to just side step the whole attraction thing
and keep it platonic so that I don't feel under pressure or stress.

I'm here on SS on a journey of learning and self discovery as this situation isn't really a typical and the kicker is that
I long for company but am too bewildered by social interactions to satisfy that longing preferring to isolate to insulate
myself from judgement I guess? I'm just trying to understand the mating game better, here seemed a good place to start.