Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Sleeping with tons of girls, feel empty

Bigpapa

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 17, 2020
Messages
3,193
Reaction score
2,490
Age
124
Uhh doesn't sound good at all...
I tried not to escalate because I knew I'd want to finish the job eventually. So I went with her to play some table tennis and pool next date.
Why are you not finishing the job tho?
usually because I start escalating sexually in public spaces , or whatever haha

then I can not bring her home , because she knows what will happen , and after I will do not usually get the 2nd chance .

I am quite sexual and sometimes I start escalating like crazy with no real plan on how to finish the job .

when I was younger I did this a lot , but learned from my mistakes . Now I rarely do them , but still from time to time I go on this path
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
12,985
Reaction score
13,887
Probably not the smartest thing to be doing with the explosion of COVID cases recently...now is the time to bunker down with a few plates that are carefully selected and who don't pose unnecessary health risks
 

GreatHornedOwl

Senior Don Juan
Joined
May 11, 2010
Messages
390
Reaction score
322
Age
41
I want to meet a woman that I WANT to get to know as a person, where there's chemistry. To take to dinner, travel, build a future with. A best friend.

I'm hooking up with different girls, but I feel alone. There's nothing there long term.
 

cola

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jan 26, 2009
Messages
2,238
Reaction score
3,057
Location
Baltimore
I'm not sure what the deal is. I've been hooking up with girls from Tinder, left and right. Some of these girls are pretty hot. Nice racks, great ass, etc. But after we have sex, I don't feel good about myself, and want them to just leave my apartment. I don't know anything about these girls, they know nothing about me. It feels good at the time, but I regret it immediately every encounter. I've let two of them stay overnight, and I could barely sleep. This is a cycle for me, and it repeats every week starting on Friday night.

Any thoughts on what's happening?
Time to get a girlfriend.
 

EyeOnThePrize

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
1,123
Reaction score
1,827
Age
33
I want to meet a woman that I WANT to get to know as a person, where there's chemistry. To take to dinner, travel, build a future with. A best friend.

I'm hooking up with different girls, but I feel alone. There's nothing there long term.
Sounds like you're seeking fulfillment from women when you should be getting it from your career, hobbies, exercise, and other independent endeavors.

If you come into it clingy and seeking more than a fun time then you're coming from a place of lack. Let her try to tie you down, not the other way around. Don't get me wrong you can tie one down if you want, but imo you're cheating yourself and have no business settling if the hunt isn't fun.

Eventually you tap one that's a fun fuuck AND a fun person to have around. That's usually how relationships start for me. We just keep hanging out because the sex is good AND we enjoy each other. The relationship happens organically.

Think about it, if you were owning your grind and slaying personal goals you'd feel so on top of the world that you wouldn't care whether a woman was at your side or not. You'd feel fulfilled alone. You'd enjoy shooting loads on these chick's faces as if you were blessing them like the fuucking pope before getting back to what you love most, your grind. You wouldn't think twice.

Don't mistake the feedback you're getting as an excuse to cuck yourself out of that. It's hard to identify and hit those goals because they're fuucking amazing to hit and few people hit them, much less identify them.

Love the process of improving yourself, stay focused. Too much sex can distract you, there's nothing wrong with dismissing it to focus on a higher calling.
 
Last edited:

Poonani Maker

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 29, 2007
Messages
4,421
Reaction score
927
I just jumped on Tinder real quick (a usually swiping for 10 mins or so, so it's all about photos whether I think it'd be worth it to show interest by 'swiping'). I sometimes wonder if there are more fakes than not, but I am encouraged when I see a photo where she's standing in an alleyway I recognize downtown - haven't been there in years, probably a college student (so won't ever LIVE here - too expensive, but is just here temporarily).

Today, I had some bites, but then got ghosted. I really don't get it, just the fall-off. It's ok cause she was like 4'6" and a single mom. Then these others just too old at 40 or too druggy-looking in her late 20s. So many nose-rings, so many tats. It's depressing. All I wanna do is go raw, and you run the risk when they're obviously slvtty like that.
 

death_wish. .

Banned
Joined
Jul 27, 2020
Messages
328
Reaction score
239
Age
31
Location
California
I can't speak for you, but I had a similar experience. Maybe you can relate to some degree.

When I turned 20, I moved to a somewhat more 'metropolitan' type city. It seemed like overnight, I was scoring like I'd never imagined. The first few felt like great victories, but after that, it seemed like watching a repeat of a TV show.
I continued to take women home (or go to their place) because I was glad that I had the opportunities (options were limited before my move) . However, once the wad was shot, reality set in. And I'd either try to find some excuse why she and I couldn't spend the night together or I'd just go through the motions of pretending to enjoy their company (after the deed was done) .

I can't speak for you, but in my case, I had something to prove to myself. Eventually, I reached a point when I discovered that I felt "less alone" when by myself, rather than having random female company to fulfill my ego.
i found this comment helpful
 

r4zorsharp

Banned
Joined
Oct 3, 2020
Messages
246
Reaction score
320
Age
32
I'm not sure what the deal is. I've been hooking up with girls from Tinder, left and right. Some of these girls are pretty hot. Nice racks, great ass, etc. But after we have sex, I don't feel good about myself, and want them to just leave my apartment. I don't know anything about these girls, they know nothing about me. It feels good at the time, but I regret it immediately every encounter. I've let two of them stay overnight, and I could barely sleep. This is a cycle for me, and it repeats every week starting on Friday night.

Any thoughts on what's happening?
I'm assuming your overall life just isn't as fulfilling so you sit around thinking and reflecting about how you're meeting girls and a lot of them aren't likely to stay or you might not feel a connection with them.. and you'r ejust having sex often.. but theres not much that comes out of it.

Sex is just a small part of life. What about the rest of your life? what ya got going on?
 

17 shots

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 21, 2016
Messages
1,112
Reaction score
1,020
Probably not the smartest thing to be doing with the explosion of COVID cases recently...now is the time to bunker down with a few plates that are carefully selected and who don't pose unnecessary health risks
Lol... your nasty ass shouldn't be talking
 

DEEZEDBRAH

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 24, 2017
Messages
6,105
Reaction score
4,853
Age
33
I'm not sure what the deal is. I've been hooking up with girls from Tinder, left and right. Some of these girls are pretty hot. Nice racks, great ass, etc. But after we have sex, I don't feel good about myself, and want them to just leave my apartment. I don't know anything about these girls, they know nothing about me. It feels good at the time, but I regret it immediately every encounter. I've let two of them stay overnight, and I could barely sleep. This is a cycle for me, and it repeats every week starting on Friday night.

Any thoughts on what's happening?
Seeing female nature for how it is.
 

In2theGame

Master Don Juan
Joined
Oct 17, 2005
Messages
2,197
Reaction score
1,145
Age
41
Location
New York City
Sometimes, if you are feeling "empty" it may not be completely about the girls but other things in your life that are lacking. Do you have hobbies or other side ventures that keep you busy? Do you talk to friends or hang out with friends?
 

Alvafe

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 26, 2012
Messages
3,371
Reaction score
1,567
Age
40
Time to get a girlfriend.
maybe it will change a little but in end that same realization will settle in.

problem is, most make sex, and media do this a lot, as something extremally good, who is needed on all people, but they forget each people are diferent and based on your needs it will be something huge and other not that big of deal.

if you are not puling woman and ahve a lack of puss or in a huge dry spell, you will put a hell a lot of value on it, but if you can pull without a problem, that start to lose value, you can apply to anything, if you are poor, having nice expensive things are a huge rush, but if you are confortable anything nice and epensive will have less value.

with woman we hope to get all that "feelings" media and woman love to sell, but we know most of then are useless save for they hot body, and if your libido is in check you even start to lose puss because you really don't see reason to waste time on her, even when its a easy lay.

on start I did this I had sex with some woman, just because I could, not because I wanted her or was interested, she was just there and was willing easy pull to happen.

also take note with the fearmongering around, and goverment forcing comerce to stay closed or limited, contacts with people are kinda hard to happen, and that is kinda something to take note
 

BackInTheGame78

Moderator
Joined
Sep 10, 2014
Messages
12,985
Reaction score
13,887
Lol... your nasty ass shouldn't be talking
About? I haven't been out with a new women since the end of September when numbers in this area were still really low. Currently only seeing 2 plates, just dropped a 3rd due to lack of interest on my part compared to the other 2.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,614
Reaction score
6,452
Age
55
Advice from the old lady:

This will be lengthy because I’ve quite a lot of observational experience...

This is a good thread and consistent with what I observe amongst the men I count as friends who are serious players or playboys.

Sex becomes a commodity. These are men who can pull new tail either in person or through online dating, men who have bedded hundreds of women over the years. Most have lost count of their “number”. They all report essentially a variation of what the OP opines which is some variation of meaninglessness with continually slaying.

They each to a man end up wanting connection rather than endless meaninglessness. It is a dopamine driven thing. Like gambling or other pleasurable but impulse driven behaviors...

Most of these guys keep a stable of old lovers who they will booty call or hook up with who are known quantities...they know the sex will be good, they know the chick will be down, and they know she is cool enough to tolerate on a periodic basis but they really don’t want a relationship with the women in the stable. Some women have remained options in the fan club for years. And between new conquests and the resident fan club these guys can bridge the gap between novelty and comfort to a degree but after a while even that leaves them empty...

Why is that? In my opinion, and in my experience (understand these are men who range in age from late 30s to mid 60s), eventually the burn or the urge to bang for the sake of just banging recedes and a desire to be deeply known and understood emerges. Some of that may be due to testosterone levels moderating with age, but I think it also has to do with life experience and understanding that finding a partner who can deeply understand a man is valuable.

The men with the fan clubs may elect to pursue that depth with a woman already within their stable or may become more discriminating in selecting new women based on higher standards than just whether she is hot.

And they may be reluctant to give up the fan club (which most any quality woman is going to require sooner or later) for a real relationship to develop organically.

This presents a paradox of choice. Playboys who wish to keep the luxury of choice eventually break the plates that have the greatest potential to become deep relationships...and then the playboy is right back to his comfort zone but a comfort zone which at the end of the day leaves him unfulfilled on a deep level.

The whether or not to bang right away is less the question compared to what do you as a man seek in a relationship sense. If you really do eventually want a great partner then I’d say it is advisable to take women you feel physical desire for and find out whether or not you like them outside the sexual sphere.

Otherwise you’ll have opportunity cost of occupying your time with women you are happy banging but who you would not reward with an actual relationship.

And the fan club girls are going to expect a relationship from you in time if you keep seeing them...they will have expectations and feelings and so on. There is usually a reason the fan club girls rarely get promoted to GF or wife, and paradoxically it has to do with their willingness to allow themselves to be part of a fan club situation in the first place, because self respecting women won’t be in a fan club situation for any length of time, especially if she happens to be a seriously desirable woman.
 

mrgoodstuff

Master Don Juan
Joined
Aug 27, 2015
Messages
17,936
Reaction score
12,147
Location
DFW, TX
Advice from the old lady:

This will be lengthy because I’ve quite a lot of observational experience...

This is a good thread and consistent with what I observe amongst the men I count as friends who are serious players or playboys.

Sex becomes a commodity. These are men who can pull new tail either in person or through online dating, men who have bedded hundreds of women over the years. Most have lost count of their “number”. They all report essentially a variation of what the OP opines which is some variation of meaninglessness with continually slaying.

They each to a man end up wanting connection rather than endless meaninglessness. It is a dopamine driven thing. Like gambling or other pleasurable but impulse driven behaviors...

Most of these guys keep a stable of old lovers who they will booty call or hook up with who are known quantities...they know the sex will be good, they know the chick will be down, and they know she is cool enough to tolerate on a periodic basis but they really don’t want a relationship with the women in the stable. Some women have remained options in the fan club for years. And between new conquests and the resident fan club these guys can bridge the gap between novelty and comfort to a degree but after a while even that leaves them empty...

Why is that? In my opinion, and in my experience (understand these are men who range in age from late 30s to mid 60s), eventually the burn or the urge to bang for the sake of just banging recedes and a desire to be deeply known and understood emerges. Some of that may be due to testosterone levels moderating with age, but I think it also has to do with life experience and understanding that finding a partner who can deeply understand a man is valuable.
It's not all testosterone, it's thru experience. We want to get the meat out of the "nut", but certain costs we would like to avoid certain consequences for doing it, or to avoid disrespecting our intellect.

The men with the fan clubs may elect to pursue that depth with a woman already within their stable or may become more discriminating in selecting new women based on higher standards than just whether she is hot.

And they may be reluctant to give up the fan club (which most any quality woman is going to require sooner or later) for a real relationship to develop organically.

This presents a paradox of choice. Playboys who wish to keep the luxury of choice eventually break the plates that have the greatest potential to become deep relationships...and then the playboy is right back to his comfort zone but a comfort zone which at the end of the day leaves him unfulfilled on a deep level.

The whether or not to bang right away is less the question compared to what do you as a man seek in a relationship sense. If you really do eventually want a great partner then I’d say it is advisable to take women you feel physical desire for and find out whether or not you like them outside the sexual sphere.

Otherwise you’ll have opportunity cost of occupying your time with women you are happy banging but who you would not reward with an actual relationship.

And the fan club girls are going to expect a relationship from you in time if you keep seeing them...they will have expectations and feelings and so on. There is usually a reason the fan club girls rarely get promoted to GF or wife, and paradoxically it has to do with their willingness to allow themselves to be part of a fan club situation in the first place, because self respecting women won’t be in a fan club situation for any length of time, especially if she happens to be a seriously desirable woman.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,614
Reaction score
6,452
Age
55
I think it’s also to a degree of denial of a man’s humanity as it relates to his emotional needs. There is nothing wrong with having the deep human desire for love, connection and companionship. A man’s ambitions and purpose cannot fulfill that particular desire, and denial that it exists does not make it go away.
 

flowtheory

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 18, 2018
Messages
1,688
Reaction score
1,416
Age
35
Location
So Cal
There’s enough good responses above to Know what’s going on.

Every Friday night your rotation begins again, albeit with a different girl or two. You’re simply experiencing a similar pattern and you’re not excited in a emotional or spiritual sense. You’re conquering a challenge you once had for yourself but it it isn’t the challenge you deeply crave or desire. Time to stop the tinder onslaught and switch it up. Go out with a woman who excites you and challenges you where the goal isn’t sex, but maybe something else. An experience to feel life or watch it move, to share your thoughts and understand her paradigm? Change the intent.

But first, make sure you’re fulfilling your wants and desires, when it comes to extracurricular time, rather than distracting yourself with women who mean nothing to you the minute you’re done using them. Sounds like you’re addicted to a chase which is tied to your ego. But your ego is turning on you because you’re not nurturing a greater purpose within you.
 
Last edited:
Top