diogenes84
Don Juan
Hey Guys,
this forum and SS in general has already been a major enlightenment in understanding some of the dynamics that really puzzled me for most of my life.
I am even applying some of the DJ basic stuff in other areas of my life to become more powerful, independant and basically seeing the evolutionary biology around me as what it is: Apes in fancy clothes fighting over "food, status and the right to mate". Crazy how this is so contrary to the widely taught PC bull****!
Anyway:
1. After getting a girl that gave me clear signals into "my cave" and ****ing a few times I became more and more AFC as we spent more time together and tried to fight her losing-interest by investing more and more... I actually had a major crush on her. And just as it is being taught here she increasingly ****-tested me ( I failed) and eventually put me into the friend zone. After trying to cope with that it became too painful:
2. Unconsciously I went no-contact and sure as hell she became more interested. After not responding to her at first she went to telling me how she is thinking about me and misses me.
3.At that point I decided to meet again and playing the "I'm cool with just being friends, maybe benefits sometimes". So following the DJ ABC my verbal interaction was completely friendlike while mixing in some kino, looking at her mouth etc.
So great Sex followed, she even wanting me to sleepover. Not possible at that time cuz another girlfriend arrived that night by train (bumping into me leaving ^^). All good you might think...but
4. Even though I know she is probably not a keeper (she wanted to be friends with benefits all along) and know that having a non-exclusive/abundance attitude would be better for both of us I catch myself obsessing. And I hate it!
I'm really trying to not communicate it, not always answering her texts. Being assertive, acting unfazed if my first suggestion gets declined. Appearing busy and happy (which I am mostly) but I still feel kind of hooked or dependant on her "signals". Which brings me to my question:
5. Is there any way to make rational mind and feeling merge and cut-off that needy,obsessive part of our "relationship"? Cuz she is really fun to be around, even I want to stay friends in case I meet someone else cuz it is intellectually and emotionally very rewarding to spend time with her. Also the sex is great and I would be fine with meeting now and then, spending time, ****ing sometimes if just I wouldn't be spending so much of my mental ressources on her!
So for those who manage to read my novel and have advice or can point me to a good article/routine etc.
Thanks
P.S.: already read the bible, gobbling the newsletter, and most of the "Starter pack" ebooks
this forum and SS in general has already been a major enlightenment in understanding some of the dynamics that really puzzled me for most of my life.
I am even applying some of the DJ basic stuff in other areas of my life to become more powerful, independant and basically seeing the evolutionary biology around me as what it is: Apes in fancy clothes fighting over "food, status and the right to mate". Crazy how this is so contrary to the widely taught PC bull****!
Anyway:
1. After getting a girl that gave me clear signals into "my cave" and ****ing a few times I became more and more AFC as we spent more time together and tried to fight her losing-interest by investing more and more... I actually had a major crush on her. And just as it is being taught here she increasingly ****-tested me ( I failed) and eventually put me into the friend zone. After trying to cope with that it became too painful:
2. Unconsciously I went no-contact and sure as hell she became more interested. After not responding to her at first she went to telling me how she is thinking about me and misses me.
3.At that point I decided to meet again and playing the "I'm cool with just being friends, maybe benefits sometimes". So following the DJ ABC my verbal interaction was completely friendlike while mixing in some kino, looking at her mouth etc.
So great Sex followed, she even wanting me to sleepover. Not possible at that time cuz another girlfriend arrived that night by train (bumping into me leaving ^^). All good you might think...but
4. Even though I know she is probably not a keeper (she wanted to be friends with benefits all along) and know that having a non-exclusive/abundance attitude would be better for both of us I catch myself obsessing. And I hate it!
I'm really trying to not communicate it, not always answering her texts. Being assertive, acting unfazed if my first suggestion gets declined. Appearing busy and happy (which I am mostly) but I still feel kind of hooked or dependant on her "signals". Which brings me to my question:
5. Is there any way to make rational mind and feeling merge and cut-off that needy,obsessive part of our "relationship"? Cuz she is really fun to be around, even I want to stay friends in case I meet someone else cuz it is intellectually and emotionally very rewarding to spend time with her. Also the sex is great and I would be fine with meeting now and then, spending time, ****ing sometimes if just I wouldn't be spending so much of my mental ressources on her!
So for those who manage to read my novel and have advice or can point me to a good article/routine etc.
Thanks
P.S.: already read the bible, gobbling the newsletter, and most of the "Starter pack" ebooks