So, I've been dating this female for 1.5 years or so. From the beginning, I said no marriage. I've said this multiple times. This past weekend she was saying she thought she'd be okay with it, but all her friends are getting married and she doesn't feel it's right for her to be punished by my previous marriage many moons ago. I said, listen, if this is not okay with you, I understand. There are dudes out there that will marry you, just not me. Perhaps if the laws change, something can be different. I doubt this will happen, but never say never. I also said, I know what is in it for you, but what do I get out of it? She couldn't answer. I said, listen, I do not want you to be upset (she's balling crying BTW), and I'd rather have you in my life. However, if this is going to be an issue, this is still something I cannot deliver. I told you this on the first date, and at least four other times. I even offered a religious marriage, with not State cert. She wants that, but the cert, too. This is not something I can do. So I said, what would you like to do? If you can live with this, great, if not, I understand. The choice is yours. However, I cannot keep on revisiting this every few months. Just ask yourself, what's more important to you, and you will have your answer.
This happened because she facetimed with a friend of hers who she's not seen in a few years. She got engaged this weekend and this is what started it. It would be a shame to lose her, however, I refuse to go for a marriage cert. I am so against the courts and marriage, you have no idea.
Open to feedback. Yes, I am willing to lose her for the stupid certificate. I see no benefit in the cert. to me. She knows I've walked away from other females who said they want marriage and so on.
Certainly possible. Or, she wants to go through the whole experience like her friends are going through. She doesn't have a bad bone in her body. The anti-marriage is not against her, it's against the system.. That's what some people forget that I am trying to empathize. So, I understand she wants the experience, but she can have that; just not the "title" of legal wife. Religious wife, yes, legal, no. She can have the party, the ceremony, the dress, ring, etc. I really do not understand what the big deal is. Maybe it is me..
Tell her this.
Lets get religiously married with all the bells and whistles. I will not get married legally but I will support you just like a married couple because we will be so nothing will change wether you sign a legal contract or not. Tell her that you and your future kids will be in your will and will get everything when you drop dead.
If she cannot agree to that because you are not signing a stupid paper but giving her all of the benefits of a marriage then she isnt the right girl for you.
Marriage laws are outdated and need to be revamped.