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when she reaches out and says she miss me??wtf

magnum191

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so theres this girl i used to date, we met in dating app. we used to video call and have met a few times, with sexual encounters in the car. First few months were great we had nice chemistry and we have confessed feelings = big mistake on my part. i kinda acted needy when she was pulling away = big mistake again.

We confessed feelings but she said shes not ready for relationship due to many factors like losing her job due to covid and some really bad issues. it was a really bad. so i said ok then after 2 months she starts drifting away and acting distant. and then finally we talked about us. we decided not to talk to each other because things arent working out anymore. She told me she has lost attraction / love for me.

i cant believe she was that cold and heartless. just to throw me away that fast. so ok i decided not to contact her anymore. nothing. and after 2 weeks shes hitting me up on facebook, saying "hello" and i responded after a day just thinking why is she messaging me?? so we had small talk. then after 1 week she chats me again, saying she miss me . i acted cool and didnt play needy. i just went with the flow and be positive, but not negative in anyway.

so guys i really like her, i want to have some action again with this girl. what do u guys suggest? and what do u think is the reason she is acting this way? its been a week since she reached out, should i reciprocate?

we r both and living Southeast asian
 
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BackInTheGame78

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She is testing the waters or just lonely and wants some attention.

Your response can be " Oh yeah? Well, bring over a bottle of wine and come cook dinner for me then."

If she does, it's high interest again on her part and you are likely getting laid. You hold all the cards from that point forward, make her work hard to earn you back if this is what you want.

If she makes up an excuse or doesn't respond then you know it's just attention she is seeking.
 

backseatjuan

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2 weeks and she misses you?

Nah.

Tell her a lie about dinner in an expensive restaurant just the two of you, dining and wining, and dancing. Schudle it so that she meets you at that place at 9 pm. It's ok if she moves and schudle around, but not earlier than 8 pm. Then flake on her, no contact, and ignore her for couple of days. When she asks again, tell her, sorry, I had a date with another girl, I couldn't say no to her. Maybe next time.

Whatever she says, appologize and tell her you'll make it up to her with great sex and dinner.

Then invite her over to your place, tell her to bring some wine and make her your fck buddy.
 

dude99

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so theres this girl i used to date, we met in dating app. we used to video call and have met a few times, with sexual encounters in the car. First few months were great we had nice chemistry and we have confessed feelings = big mistake on my part. i kinda acted needy when she was pulling away = big mistake again.

We confessed feelings but she said shes not ready for relationship due to many factors like losing her job due to covid and some really bad issues. it was a really bad. so i said ok then after 2 months she starts drifting away and acting distant. and then finally we talked about us. we decided not to talk to each other because things arent working out anymore. She told me she has lost attraction / love for me.

i cant believe she was that cold and heartless. just to throw me away that fast. so ok i decided not to contact her anymore. nothing. and after 2 weeks shes hitting me up on facebook, saying "hello" and i responded after a day just thinking why is she messaging me?? so we had small talk. then after 1 week she chats me again, saying she miss me . i acted cool and didnt play needy. i just went with the flow and be positive, but not negative in anyway.

so guys i really like her, i want to have some action again with this girl. what do u guys suggest? and what do u think is the reason she is acting this way? its been a week since she reached out, should i reciprocate?

we r both and living Southeast asian
Nothing but bread crumbs and validation seeking.

She blew it with you. Yes. She blew it. Not you her.

Your words "She told me she has lost attraction / love for me."
Right here your interest level should have plummeted from 70 down to zero.

She blew it. Next time she reaches out tell her you're busy, got a lot on your plate at the moment, and when you have time (never) you will give her a shout. Then friend zone her.
 

Romanemp22

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so theres this girl i used to date, we met in dating app. we used to video call and have met a few times, with sexual encounters in the car. First few months were great we had nice chemistry and we have confessed feelings = big mistake on my part. i kinda acted needy when she was pulling away = big mistake again.

We confessed feelings but she said shes not ready for relationship due to many factors like losing her job due to covid and some really bad issues. it was a really bad. so i said ok then after 2 months she starts drifting away and acting distant. and then finally we talked about us. we decided not to talk to each other because things arent working out anymore. She told me she has lost attraction / love for me.

i cant believe she was that cold and heartless. just to throw me away that fast. so ok i decided not to contact her anymore. nothing. and after 2 weeks shes hitting me up on facebook, saying "hello" and i responded after a day just thinking why is she messaging me?? so we had small talk. then after 1 week she chats me again, saying she miss me . i acted cool and didnt play needy. i just went with the flow and be positive, but not negative in anyway.

so guys i really like her, i want to have some action again with this girl. what do u guys suggest? and what do u think is the reason she is acting this way? its been a week since she reached out, should i reciprocate?

we r both and living Southeast asian
She took you for granted and ditched you, so when you started moving on she was wondering why are you not after her still? She had her chance, not a gf material so i would demote her only to have sex with from time to time on my terms when i feel like it.
 

magnum191

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She is testing the waters or just lonely and wants some attention.

Your response can be " Oh yeah? Well, bring over a bottle of wine and come cook dinner for me then."

If she does, it's high interest again on her part and you are likely getting laid. You hold all the cards from that point forward, make her work hard to earn you back if this is what you want.

If she makes up an excuse or doesn't respond then you know it's just attention she is seeking.
how would i approach this? we havent talked for a week, because i just acted neutral and abit positive in our last interaction when she said she miss me. i want to bang her and see what happens. should i chat her? if so how do i do it without being needy and weak. i need to re ignite our sexual energy haha.
 

magnum191

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She took you for granted and ditched you, so when you started moving on she was wondering why are you not after her still? She had her chance, not a gf material so i would demote her only to have sex with from time to time on my terms when i feel like it.
yes , thats the goal. just make her my ****buddy. but how do i approach it when im starting from zero. how would i do it without acting needy and weak? i need to re ignite our sexual energy haha because its gone now
 

BackInTheGame78

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how would i approach this? we havent talked for a week, because i just acted neutral and abit positive in our last interaction when she said she miss me. i want to bang her and see what happens. should i chat her? if so how do i do it without being needy and weak. i need to re ignite our sexual energy haha.
You are going to have to wait for her to reach out to you again.
 

Romanemp22

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yes , thats the goal. just make her my ****buddy. but how do i approach it when im starting from zero. how would i do it without acting needy and weak? i need to re ignite our sexual energy haha because its gone now
Dont show her emotions, that you care. She says she misses you, you text her hey why dont you come to my house we can 'chill' and make your move. She will be all over you when you starts act cold now believe me
 

derby1

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yes , thats the goal. just make her my ****buddy.
OP you can tell by the way you type, the mere fact this woman has messaged you, has made you get your Boyz II men greatest hits CD out. Youve got your best tuxedo on, and your gonna show her who the man is.

Understand she does this to 100 men a day. attention is like crack to women

the thing is, when and if she gives you a nights passion she will bail on you like you never existed.

you will start talking about good times and relationships, she will agree with you on all this and you will think "this is great"

pain will purify your soul brother
 

Romanemp22

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OP you can tell by the way you type, the mere fact this woman has messaged you, has made you get your Boyz II men greatest hits CD out. Youve got your best tuxedo on, and your gonna show her who the man is.

Understand she does this to 100 men a day. attention is like crack to women

the thing is, when and if she gives you a nights passion she will bail on you like you never existed.

you will start talking about good times and relationships, she will agree with you on all this and you will think "this is great"

pain will purify your soul brother
Deppens how he approach it. If he have a mentality to just bone her and ditch he will be fine but since he have feelings for her, it would be tricky so he needs to resolve that first
 

magnum191

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Deppens how he approach it. If he have a mentality to just bone her and ditch he will be fine but since he have feelings for her, it would be tricky so he needs to resolve that first
i did have feelings for her, now? a bit yes. but its gradually going away because its not reciprocated. i just want to be her ****buddy again haha. im not so sure how to bring that sexual tension between us back. its much more difficult now than the first time.
 

bat soup

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i did have feelings for her, now? a bit yes. but its gradually going away because its not reciprocated. i just want to be her ****buddy again haha. im not so sure how to bring that sexual tension between us back. its much more difficult now than the first time.
Just invite her for a drive and bang her in the car again. But this time don't catch feelings.
 

dude99

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how would i approach this? we havent talked for a week, because i just acted neutral and abit positive in our last interaction when she said she miss me. i want to bang her and see what happens. should i chat her? if so how do i do it without being needy and weak. i need to re ignite our sexual energy haha.
Ignore her and let her hamster wheel spin.
 

RangerMIke

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If she reaches out and you want to see her, try to make a date. You will find out really fast if her interest has come back up.

This is normal chick behavior, they are pulled around by their emotions. One minute they are all over you, the next she just isn't 'feeling it'. Just ride the waves when they come in. Some women can have moments where they are NOT feeling it and are self-aware enough to know this is fleeting... and will resist their temptation to wander off.

Now if you want a 'relationship' with this chick, then just tell her to leave you alone. Trust me, flaky @ss chicks do not get better with time. It will be too much work trying to keep things with her going. The most important trait a chick can have if you want something to last is self-awareness. If she doesn't have control of HERSELF, she will not be able to control anything in her life.

Now this COULD be something else. I've known women that will do stuff like this, breaking things off when she really doesn't want to. She will walk away to see what you do... she rationally wants you to chase her, but emotionally she will be turned off if you do. This is game playing, and you don't want this either in a 'relationship'. Now for me, I really don't care, I'll keep seeing her if I want... and if she wanders off, no problem, there are more women in the world. But don't get sucked into this BS in exclusivity because all that you are signing up for is a cr@p load of emotional manipulation.
 

r4zorsharp

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i don't understand how you completely don't realize that this girl seems VERY OFF.. like why are you even bothering?
 

magnum191

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If she reaches out and you want to see her, try to make a date. You will find out really fast if her interest has come back up.

This is normal chick behavior, they are pulled around by their emotions. One minute they are all over you, the next she just isn't 'feeling it'. Just ride the waves when they come in. Some women can have moments where they are NOT feeling it and are self-aware enough to know this is fleeting... and will resist their temptation to wander off.

Now if you want a 'relationship' with this chick, then just tell her to leave you alone. Trust me, flaky @ss chicks do not get better with time. It will be too much work trying to keep things with her going. The most important trait a chick can have if you want something to last is self-awareness. If she doesn't have control of HERSELF, she will not be able to control anything in her life.

Now this COULD be something else. I've known women that will do stuff like this, breaking things off when she really doesn't want to. She will walk away to see what you do... she rationally wants you to chase her, but emotionally she will be turned off if you do. This is game playing, and you don't want this either in a 'relationship'. Now for me, I really don't care, I'll keep seeing her if I want... and if she wanders off, no problem, there are more women in the world. But don't get sucked into this BS in exclusivity because all that you are signing up for is a cr@p load of emotional manipulation.
i understand what u r saying, i will just let it be. she looks very pretty, but her mind is a garbage can. shes indecisive, she has bpd. she cant think straight.

i tried flirting with her recently, she didnt respond the way she did before. so i guess thats it. ill move on to the next.
what i dont understand these chicks will say they want a happy and stable relationship and will throw it off like nothing. they will look for the next thrill. we had very nice beginnings, i could tell she really cared about me at some point. but then this happened. its heartbreaking, these type of women is turning me into cold hearted man. i dont think i will ever invest my heart in a woman anymore. this is disgusting behavior.

i dont have much friends, as i have secretly low self esteem. i just act like i dont when im in front of my friends. but i cut them off to build myself. im just embarassed to be where i am at in this point in my life. i just wanted someone who can be there for me, and me to them in return. but i guess thats too much to ask.
 

RangerMIke

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she has bpd. she cant think straight.
BPD gets tossed around a lot on this board. Women live in the moment, they really don't care about the past as much as they do the present. This isn't BPD, it's normal chick behavior. Someone who suffers BPD will have WILD mood swings of manic depression, someone with BPD is COMPLETELY dysfunctional without medication.

i dont understand these chicks will say they want a happy and stable relationship and will throw it off like nothing.
All women want relationships of some kind. But they want this with men they are attracted to. If she isn't interested in you, she is not going to be interested in a relationship with you. What she finds 'interesting' can and does chance based on what is going on in her life. You can not control this. I dated this one woman for 2 years, it was a great casual relationship... she had her life I had mine... it was actually about as perfect as casual relationship as you can have. I dated other women, she other dudes. Then her sister gets married, and her mother died... than all of the sudden, 'casual' isn't something she needed anymore, she wanted exclusivity... it was like a light switch from one week to the next... within 3 months she was married to another dude. In that emotional state, that is what she wanted... then a year later... she was divorced. This is what happens to women. They can't help it... and there is nothing you can do about it.

i could tell she really cared about me at some point. but then this happened. its heartbreaking, these type of women is turning me into cold hearted man.
You can not allow the machinations and the emotional rollercoaster of chicks to get to you. Be the best version of yourself you can be, stay on your path... and the chicks that like you will walk that path. The minute you start trying to take HER path you start fvcking up and that is when you find yourself wondering what the hell is going on with her. What is happening is her emotions are taking on a different path... just let her go and forget about her.

i dont think i will ever invest my heart in a woman anymore. this is disgusting behavior.
Well good that you are not going to emotionally invest in a woman again, but it isn't 'disgusting', it is normal chick behavior. Some women are are more susceptible to their own emotional whims, and can be more aggravating, but they are all like this.... as long as you know this is how things are, the less you will be surprised and disappointed by it. Try not to have expectations on anything, expectation is the root cause of negative emotion.

i dont have much friends, as i have secretly low self esteem. i just act like i dont when im in front of my friends. but i cut them off to build myself. im just embarassed to be where i am at in this point in my life. i just wanted someone who can be there for me, and me to them in return. but i guess thats too much to ask.
Self awareness is the first step to self improvement. If you don't know your problems you can not fix them. But one mind-set fix you need to do now is not never hang you happiness on others. There are a lot of guys like you who believe happiness is attached to some chick. I see them all the time, men who have been married for years, and suddenly that ends and their entire identity was attached to that chick... so they completely fall apart... they are so desperate to get that back again the bounce right into another relationship with ANY chick and the cycle starts all over again. I call it the "Robin Williams Syndrome"... that poor b@stard went from one horrible chick to the next, all of them fvcked up is life, and he just offed himself. Don't be Robin.
 
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