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when she reaches out and says she miss me??wtf

RangerMIke

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she has bpd. she cant think straight.
BPD gets tossed around a lot on this board. Women live in the moment, they really don't care about the past as much as they do the present. This isn't BPD, it's normal chick behavior. Someone who suffers BPD will have WILD mood swings of manic depression, someone with BPD is COMPLETELY dysfunctional without medication.

i dont understand these chicks will say they want a happy and stable relationship and will throw it off like nothing.
All women want relationships of some kind. But they want this with men they are attracted to. If she isn't interested in you, she is not going to be interested in a relationship with you. What she finds 'interesting' can and does chance based on what is going on in her life. You can not control this. I dated this one woman for 2 years, it was a great casual relationship... she had her life I had mine... it was actually about as perfect as casual relationship as you can have. I dated other women, she other dudes. Then her sister gets married, and her mother died... than all of the sudden, 'casual' isn't something she needed anymore, she wanted exclusivity... it was like a light switch from one week to the next... within 3 months she was married to another dude. In that emotional state, that is what she wanted... then a year later... she was divorced. This is what happens to women. They can't help it... and there is nothing you can do about it.

i could tell she really cared about me at some point. but then this happened. its heartbreaking, these type of women is turning me into cold hearted man.
You can not allow the machinations and the emotional rollercoaster of chicks to get to you. Be the best version of yourself you can be, stay on your path... and the chicks that like you will walk that path. The minute you start trying to take HER path you start fvcking up and that is when you find yourself wondering what the hell is going on with her. What is happening is her emotions are taking on a different path... just let her go and forget about her.

i dont think i will ever invest my heart in a woman anymore. this is disgusting behavior.
Well good that you are not going to emotionally invest in a woman again, but it isn't 'disgusting', it is normal chick behavior. Some women are are more susceptible to their own emotional whims, and can be more aggravating, but they are all like this.... as long as you know this is how things are, the less you will be surprised and disappointed by it. Try not to have expectations on anything, expectation is the root cause of negative emotion.

i dont have much friends, as i have secretly low self esteem. i just act like i dont when im in front of my friends. but i cut them off to build myself. im just embarassed to be where i am at in this point in my life. i just wanted someone who can be there for me, and me to them in return. but i guess thats too much to ask.
Self awareness is the first step to self improvement. If you don't know your problems you can not fix them. But one mind-set fix you need to do now is not never hang you happiness on others. There are a lot of guys like you who believe happiness is attached to some chick. I see them all the time, men who have been married for years, and suddenly that ends and their entire identity was attached to that chick... so they completely fall apart... they are so desperate to get that back again the bounce right into another relationship with ANY chick and the cycle starts all over again. I call it the "Robin Williams Syndrome"... that poor b@stard went from one horrible chick to the next, all of them fvcked up is life, and he just offed himself. Don't be Robin.
 

magnum191

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BPD gets tossed around a lot on this board. Women live in the moment, they really don't care about the past as much as they do the present. This isn't BPD, it's normal chick behavior. Someone who suffers BPD will have WILD mood swings of manic depression, someone with BPD is COMPLETELY dysfunctional without medication.
she is clinically diagnosed by psychiatrist that she has bpd. she has medication for it, but doesnt take it.
 

magnum191

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All women want relationships of some kind. But they want this with men they are attracted to. If she isn't interested in you, she is not going to be interested in a relationship with you. What she finds 'interesting' can and does chance based on what is going on in her life. You can not control this. I dated this one woman for 2 years, it was a great casual relationship... she had her life I had mine... it was actually about as perfect as casual relationship as you can have. I dated other women, she other dudes. Then her sister gets married, and her mother died... than all of the sudden, 'casual' isn't something she needed anymore, she wanted exclusivity... it was like a light switch from one week to the next... within 3 months she was married to another dude. In that emotional state, that is what she wanted... then a year later... she was divorced. This is what happens to women. They can't help it... and there is nothing you can do about it.

You can not allow the machinations and the emotional rollercoaster of chicks to get to you. Be the best version of yourself you can be, stay on your path... and the chicks that like you will walk that path. The minute you start trying to take HER path you start fvcking up and that is when you find yourself wondering what the hell is going on with her. What is happening is her emotions are taking on a different path... just let her go and forget about her.
this is the lesson i have learned, i have been in few relationships but ever since ive been reading about red pill. i guess learning the hardway is my way. they dont think, they just feel, and do what their heart tell them to do. i cannot trust women anymore, im not mad about it. its just a disappointing truth. all my life thinking women are caring, loving and such fantasies ive heard. nah, they are cold and ruthless. i guess the next relationship i will have is game their emotions, play with it, manipulate it until i can be better with it.
 

magnum191

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Well lucky you for figuring this out
i knew it from the start, but she had shown me so much care and companionship.but i was deluded. i was wrong. i thought it was going to be good. it was a fantasy i wanted to dive deep into. but ive learned my lesson.
 

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stringpuller

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i knew it from the start, but she had shown me so much care and companionship.but i was deluded. i was wrong. i thought it was going to be good. it was a fantasy i wanted to dive deep into. but ive learned my lesson.
Just focus on their behavior. Not their words. BPD is real but i think Mike is correct it is not as common as is said here. Guys just want to admit that they are fck ups. But by doing so will lead to their freedom.
Its actually the same idea as the gospel but wont get into that here. Good luck
 

mrgoodstuff

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yes , thats the goal. just make her my ****buddy. but how do i approach it when im starting from zero. how would i do it without acting needy and weak? i need to re ignite our sexual energy haha because its gone now
There is no "our"... LOL. A female in the past that did me dirty said "there is no we", I shoulda listened. You need to find your sexual energy with another lady. Take some time off until you learn to value and respect yourself. Going forward why should you be "free"? Do you not have anything to offer?
 

mrgoodstuff

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i understand what u r saying, i will just let it be. she looks very pretty, but her mind is a garbage can. shes indecisive, she has bpd. she cant think straight.

i tried flirting with her recently, she didnt respond the way she did before. so i guess thats it. ill move on to the next.
what i dont understand these chicks will say they want a happy and stable relationship and will throw it off like nothing. they will look for the next thrill. we had very nice beginnings, i could tell she really cared about me at some point. but then this happened. its heartbreaking, these type of women is turning me into cold hearted man. i dont think i will ever invest my heart in a woman anymore. this is disgusting behavior.

i dont have much friends, as i have secretly low self esteem. i just act like i dont when im in front of my friends. but i cut them off to build myself. im just embarassed to be where i am at in this point in my life. i just wanted someone who can be there for me, and me to them in return. but i guess thats too much to ask.
Do you really have low Esteem or do you have friends that are just using you?
 
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so theres this girl i used to date, we met in dating app. we used to video call and have met a few times, with sexual encounters in the car. First few months were great we had nice chemistry and we have confessed feelings = big mistake on my part. i kinda acted needy when she was pulling away = big mistake again.

We confessed feelings but she said shes not ready for relationship due to many factors like losing her job due to covid and some really bad issues. it was a really bad. so i said ok then after 2 months she starts drifting away and acting distant. and then finally we talked about us. we decided not to talk to each other because things arent working out anymore. She told me she has lost attraction / love for me.

i cant believe she was that cold and heartless. just to throw me away that fast. so ok i decided not to contact her anymore. nothing. and after 2 weeks shes hitting me up on facebook, saying "hello" and i responded after a day just thinking why is she messaging me?? so we had small talk. then after 1 week she chats me again, saying she miss me . i acted cool and didnt play needy. i just went with the flow and be positive, but not negative in anyway.

so guys i really like her, i want to have some action again with this girl. what do u guys suggest? and what do u think is the reason she is acting this way? its been a week since she reached out, should i reciprocate?

we r both and living Southeast asian
So, lessons to learn from this experience:

1. Do not verbalize your feelings for women until they do it first. And even then, your verbalization of said feelings should be such that they feel less intense than hers are to you (example: if she says "I just care about you so much and think about you all the time," your tempered response should be "that's cool, I think you're great too." Simple, to the point, and you're not sounding like a woman.)

2. Never, EVER, bring up the "relationship" conversation. That's her job. Men are usually ready to have that convo much sooner than women, but YOUR feelings do not matter. If she's not there yet with her feelings, you bringing it up will only (a) make you look needy, and (b) make it feel to her like a relationship is being forced upon her. Not good.

3. Her coming back to you after 2 weeks of space signals that you weren't giving her space during the time you were dating her. If you were talking to/seeing her every day (or close to every day) in those first few months, it's very easy to create burnout. You NEED to give women space in your relationships. I always tell men that the NEED to want to see you all the time builds attraction must faster than ACTUALLY seeing you all the time. When you gave her space, it allowed her the time to think about you, miss you, and come to you at her own choosing vs. feeling obligated to see you.

As for what to do now? Next time she reaches out, don't go the "chit-chat" route; instead, ask her out on a date. If she agrees, great! If she gives some excuse to why she can't see you, or doesn't respond, then move on to the next. Keep your dating life simple, man - women who like you help you, and women who don't, won't.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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so theres this girl i used to date, we met in dating app. we used to video call and have met a few times, with sexual encounters in the car. First few months were great we had nice chemistry and we have confessed feelings = big mistake on my part. i kinda acted needy when she was pulling away = big mistake again.

We confessed feelings but she said shes not ready for relationship due to many factors like losing her job due to covid and some really bad issues. it was a really bad. so i said ok then after 2 months she starts drifting away and acting distant. and then finally we talked about us. we decided not to talk to each other because things arent working out anymore. She told me she has lost attraction / love for me.

i cant believe she was that cold and heartless. just to throw me away that fast. so ok i decided not to contact her anymore. nothing. and after 2 weeks shes hitting me up on facebook, saying "hello" and i responded after a day just thinking why is she messaging me?? so we had small talk. then after 1 week she chats me again, saying she miss me . i acted cool and didnt play needy. i just went with the flow and be positive, but not negative in anyway.

so guys i really like her, i want to have some action again with this girl. what do u guys suggest? and what do u think is the reason she is acting this way? its been a week since she reached out, should i reciprocate?

we r both and living Southeast asian
That's called low sex drive means#next

Women don't have excuses for thor or decaprio. The best outcome is to pull hotter and younger. Women are prone to destroying themselves. Sex, drugs, violent men, alpha widowed, and student debt.

Leave women to their vices. Its operation evil on steroids. Hilarious!
.
You the man must play role. I lead
She follows or next.

Confessing feelers is phaggotry. I can fo more by taking my D out not vomiting emo crap and listening to her problems.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Just focus on their behavior. Not their words. BPD is real but i think Mike is correct it is not as common as is said here. Guys just want to admit that they are fck ups. But by doing so will lead to their freedom.
Its actually the same idea as the gospel but wont get into that here. Good luck
100%. Beat to death in rp and mansophere when in reality they got **** game. Dude marries a *****. A guy dates a single mom or tje skank off the carousel with massive student debt for women's studies.

There's a 4:1 ratio of mental health in women and 2:1 women to men. The problem is that, women are destroying themselves with sex, abortions, and a drugs or booze amplifying anything. Some play crazy to excuse being a ****ty person.


Execute a zero tolerance policy. Crazy means #next low sex drive means#next. Not feminine, submissive and a cheerleader to your life is grounds for disregard.

Ruthlessly selfish ftw
 

mrgoodstuff

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100%. Beat to death in rp and mansophere when in reality they got **** game. Dude marries a *****. A guy dates a single mom or tje skank off the carousel with massive student debt for women's studies.

There's a 4:1 ratio of mental health in women and 2:1 women to men. The problem is that, women are destroying themselves with sex, abortions, and a drugs or booze amplifying anything. Some play crazy to excuse being a ****ty person.


Execute a zero tolerance policy. Crazy means #next low sex drive means#next. Not feminine, submissive and a cheerleader to your life is grounds for disregard.

Ruthlessly selfish ftw
They will respect that
 

magnum191

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So, lessons to learn from this experience:

1. Do not verbalize your feelings for women until they do it first. And even then, your verbalization of said feelings should be such that they feel less intense than hers are to you (example: if she says "I just care about you so much and think about you all the time," your tempered response should be "that's cool, I think you're great too." Simple, to the point, and you're not sounding like a woman.)

2. Never, EVER, bring up the "relationship" conversation. That's her job. Men are usually ready to have that convo much sooner than women, but YOUR feelings do not matter. If she's not there yet with her feelings, you bringing it up will only (a) make you look needy, and (b) make it feel to her like a relationship is being forced upon her. Not good.

3. Her coming back to you after 2 weeks of space signals that you weren't giving her space during the time you were dating her. If you were talking to/seeing her every day (or close to every day) in those first few months, it's very easy to create burnout. You NEED to give women space in your relationships. I always tell men that the NEED to want to see you all the time builds attraction must faster than ACTUALLY seeing you all the time. When you gave her space, it allowed her the time to think about you, miss you, and come to you at her own choosing vs. feeling obligated to see you.

As for what to do now? Next time she reaches out, don't go the "chit-chat" route; instead, ask her out on a date. If she agrees, great! If she gives some excuse to why she can't see you, or doesn't respond, then move on to the next. Keep your dating life simple, man - women who like you help you, and women who don't, won't.
yes thanks! i learned it late. i was living in a fantasy, i read about redpill b4 but didnt internalize it. now experiencing it first hand, i believe it.
 

magnum191

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Do you really have low Esteem or do you have friends that are just using you?
i do have low self esteem, but im certain if anyone would see how i act and carry myself no one would know. its just a pretend act to cover up holes in my personality. i can say im a decent looking guy, and fit since this quarantine i kept lifting weights, but its financial success at 25 that hinders me i dont have the financial freedom.
 

mrgoodstuff

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i do have low self esteem, but im certain if anyone would see how i act and carry myself no one would know. its just a pretend act to cover up holes in my personality. i can say im a decent looking guy, and fit since this quarantine i kept lifting weights, but its financial success at 25 that hinders me i dont have the financial freedom.
Your young. That's all. You'll learn to stand yourself upright. Parts of confidence are learned skills. Habits. Rituals. What you tell yourself. How you treat yourself. Your environment.
 

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magnum191

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So, lessons to learn from this experience:

2. Never, EVER, bring up the "relationship" conversation. That's her job. Men are usually ready to have that convo much sooner than women, but YOUR feelings do not matter. If she's not there yet with her feelings, you bringing it up will only (a) make you look needy, and (b) make it feel to her like a relationship is being forced upon her. Not good.
she actually met me and confessed her feelings to me first, but told me to take things slower. then after 2 months it all went downhill.
 

Georgepithyou

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Girls always send mixed signals like this, they ignore you for weeks Then come back saying they "miss you"
 

stringpuller

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100%. Beat to death in rp and mansophere when in reality they got **** game. Dude marries a *****. A guy dates a single mom or tje skank off the carousel with massive student debt for women's studies.

There's a 4:1 ratio of mental health in women and 2:1 women to men. The problem is that, women are destroying themselves with sex, abortions, and a drugs or booze amplifying anything. Some play crazy to excuse being a ****ty person.


Execute a zero tolerance policy. Crazy means #next low sex drive means#next. Not feminine, submissive and a cheerleader to your life is grounds for disregard.

Ruthlessly selfish ftw
Good take. You brought up low secs drive and I just came across this topic in the book I posted about. (Female Psycology) Authors throw out their that a High self esteem woman with a low secs drive tend to be better mothers because their focus is on child rearing.

Now with that said they also concluded that these women can be amped up to higher secs drive from The mans sexual vibe and or environmental forces such as new relationship etc etc.

The whole chapter was actually fairly enlightening.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Good take. You brought up low secs drive and I just came across this topic in the book I posted about. (Female Psycology) Authors throw out their that a High self esteem woman with a low secs drive tend to be better mothers because their focus is on child rearing.

Now with that said they also concluded that these women can be amped up to higher secs drive from The mans sexual vibe and or environmental forces such as new relationship etc etc.

The whole chapter was actually fairly enlightening.
Which book? Evo of desire?

I was listening to a old Kevin Samuel's podcast. The brother is smart. While RP, 99% Of his audience is women and yet, much of RP is parroting the same jargon while married. Personally, I have little to no time for this. Samuels is good but off the market with marry in six months or left. I am skeptical of anybody who is pushing marriage. Dr Smith suggests 2yrs essentially two seasons with a woman and testing any deviations through the seasons. Better advice though, i am avoidant of marriage.

There maybe something to that effect. I am still out on any such deterring of libido or dex drive. In part why I am anti marriage not to mention, sex less marriage, bulking season, and of course divorce rapey women. I suspect there's some truth here.

I was listening to the Roomates podcast w/ ToddV. There was a segment where ToddV brought up guys going for Baddies 9s/10s whether or not they can execute. Typically, they land a 6.5/7 cutie for marriage but wifey and motherly characteristics. I suspect that the truth is somewhere in there. I do think fellas acquire and accumulate resources only to be shackled by the first semi decent looking girl off the CC who ropes him into kids. Accidentally on purpose pregnancy and build a nest conveniently as SMV CRATERS and nears 30. It aggravates the piss put of me seeing my mates get trapped or caught in the **** storm but I digress.

String mate, how the ****kkk are you doing? Still singing D? I went out for a bender pre covid pandemic flu. During lockdowns in London, I had already a rotation with a handful of girls and a series of prospects. Needless to say, erosion and plates dropping off was common occurrence. More annoying, the amount of attention *****s and time vampires BUT, the mercenary approach is pull or #next. DESIRE IS DESIRE. There is no ambiguity for genuine desire. I cannot stress this enough. During pandemic, the most common theme was longevity with foreign women. The UK is very feminist by nature and if not openly identified, women adopt the talking points and parrot feminism. Its astounding the alternative to the norms on western society. At the risk of deportation, some are ALL IN! Spinning plates, chain gunning pickup lockdowns or not. RP through and through. The only thing is that, we men want the BADDIES. They just aren't for keeps. They are from the streets. 20/30 kill count was always non marriage material. Today, women got 50-100 + and simps are calling her wife lol.

I don't even....! I did hear Cappy talk about a 10% happiness stat post 8yrs of marriage where both are enjoying it. The vast majority are not.
 

DEEZEDBRAH

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Girls always send mixed signals like this, they ignore you for weeks Then come back saying they "miss you"
I got this from a skank when in high school. I was young and dumb thinking she meant, she actually misses me. Little did i know, it meant she was fighting with her bf and her revenge was using her vag as a weapon. POOR ME. 2am. At girl's grandpas. Watching TV. I remember her ex calling and she saying he wants to fight me hah. Then it hit me? How the **** did he know i was there?

The ***** was trouble. I beat it rotten and lost her #. It was a month or d9 later and i got the "i miss you text." it went to deaf ears. Radio silence.

I ran into her a few years ago. She was a crack head now. Looked rough. She recognised me. I barely could see any sort of resemblance.
 
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