Friendship with women

[bat soup]

I was thinking about this - do any of you have real friendships with women? Some people say that you should never be friends with women or at least with women you find attractive and I somewhat agree, however... I also have some friends that are women and they are actually good friends that I have known for many years. The wall also comes into play, because a girl that you used to find attractive can become unattractive and therefore you can genuinely both end up just wanting to be friends.

 

[corrector]

No. There are some women who recognize me but overall I think most women are too mentally imbalanced to even go there.

 

[Lookatu]

You can only be friends with women that you don't find attractive in a sexual way, have known since you were little, if you're slightly gay or bisexual, or ones you've already banged. Case closed.

 

[2Rocky]

Yes, but you have to have them as "adopted sisters" in your mind.

 

[bat soup]

I agree that it's not a problem with women that you've already banged or have lost interest in. Ugly women are also not a problem. I think the problem is when you still want a girl and she's not interested - this gives her a kind of leverage over you which lead to all kinds of resentments and manipulation.

 

[Robert28]

Waste of time

 

[oldmanofthesea]

this gives her a kind of leverage over you which lead to all kinds of resentments and manipulation.

ONLY if you let it. This is why you have to draw boundaries. You shouldn't be simping or white knighting and you should be asking of her, the same kinds of things she asks of you, which is how a true friendship works: mutual investment. If you aren't getting the same investment from her then she isn't a true friend.

 

[Medina]

I'm not against it because it gives you access to other women and preselects you as a man that women like

But in general your real friends should be male, and for many reasons

Even women themselves will prefer you when you're in guy mode and one of the boys

 

[BeExcellent]

I’ve got a number of close male friends as I refer to often. True friends. I wing for them, we discuss who we are dating etc., some for many many years. As others have said it’s about healthy boundaries on both sides. Most of my guy friends I’ve never had romantic involvement with, one I dated for a year some 28 years ago, and one was a lover but we weren’t a good fit to be dating so we called it friends and drove on, no problem.

Nobody orbits in these friendships, not me, not the guy, and it’s a great sounding board for both parties.

If someone gets in a serious relationship these friendships naturally recede and respect the relationship. It requires a level of respect, maturity and genuinely caring about what makes that friend happy.

I’m blessed with very loyal friends and I do my level best to be a good friend. Period.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Thats called a rejection. You become her reject orbiter.

Do those guys get any sex or affections in your view?

 

[bat soup]

I’ve got a number of close male friends as I refer to often. True friends. I wing for them, we discuss who we are dating etc., some for many many years. As others have said it’s about healthy boundaries on both sides. Most of my guy friends I’ve never had romantic involvement with, one I dated for a year some 28 years ago, and one was a lover but we weren’t a good fit to be dating so we called it friends and drove on, no problem.

Nobody orbits in these friendships, not me, not the guy, and it’s a great sounding board for both parties.

If someone gets in a serious relationship these friendships naturally recede and respect the relationship. It requires a level of respect, maturity and genuinely caring about what makes that friend happy.

I’m blessed with very loyal friends and I do my level best to be a good friend. Period.

Exes can actually be very good friends, because it's like you have been through some stuff together and you know each other well, as long as you don't still have any romantic feelings.

For a man to be an orbiter there has to be a certain amount of attraction. Otherwise they would just be lost in space.

 

[SW15]

I do not have any female friends in my home city.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I do not have any female friends in my home city.

Better 4 you that way

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Exes can actually be very good friends, because it's like you have been through some stuff together and you know each other well, as long as you don't still have any romantic feelings.

For a man to be an orbiter there has to be a certain amount of attraction. Otherwise they would just be lost in space.

"Friends" sucks for a babe that you were attracted to but never got with. She offers you a consolation of "friends". She ends up using you for energy and favors.

 

[Trojan3000]

Totally. My friendships with women have given me tons of insight on women and not only that, but about what other men are doing/are like. Girls are awesome to have as friends. Now, depends on your friendship too. I've had chick friends that trust me enough to tell me everything lol. I feel bad for some of their boyfriends since man some of the **** they've told me, quite embarrassing.

I should mention though that, when I was younger, I never had a chicks as friends. If we or If I were hanging with girls, I was messing wit them as well. Back when my simple caveman brain looked at all women as dumb compared to men, and objectified the hell out of them. I must say, when I used to think that way, it tended to be a bit easier.. But sometimes I'd get caught off gaurd by the chicks who werent easy and were very witty, mean or cunning.

What made me change is I had reality hit me many times, smack across the face. It's almost like an unseen spiritual force tried to get me to change.. probably because I hurt too many feelings or something, not sure. Not saying I was a major playa but I know for sure I let down or hurt many girls.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Totally. My friendships with women have given me tons of insight on women and not only that, but about what other men are doing/are like. Girls are awesome to have as friends. Now, depends on your friendship too. I've had chick friends that trust me enough to tell me everything lol. I feel bad for some of their boyfriends since man some of the **** they've told me, quite embarrassing.

I should mention though that, when I was younger, I never had a chicks as friends. If we or If I were hanging with girls, I was messing wit them as well. Back when my simple caveman brain looked at all women as dumb compared to men, and objectified the hell out of them. I must say, when I used to think that way, it tended to be a bit easier.. But sometimes I'd get caught off gaurd by the chicks who werent easy and were very witty, mean or cunning.

What made me change is I had reality hit me many times, smack across the face. It's almost like an unseen spiritual force tried to get me to change.. probably because I hurt too many feelings or something, not sure. Not saying I was a major playa but I know for sure I let down or hurt many girls.

Its a dangerous road to travel. Because if your too close of a friend some of the emotions end up shared and you'll have an estrogenic environment.

Now if they share this embarrassing info about their man, who is she really with? Him or you? Look at her nature. And the purposes of sharing that insight was what?

 

[Lookatu]

Totally. My friendships with women have given me tons of insight on women and not only that, but about what other men are doing/are like. Girls are awesome to have as friends.

Dunno man, it sounds like you've been an orbiter or friendzoned one too many times.
How many actual regular dates have you gone on this year so far where it involved intimacy?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Dunno man, it sounds like you've been an orbiter or friendzoned one too many times.
How many actual regular dates have you gone on this year so far where it involved intimacy?

Right. He might have friended his masculine polarity away.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Disagree with this entirely. Reality hasn't hit you yet. This type of communication with women is GF material. Male girlfriend. I think what your referring to is circle flirt.
Those girls ride the social circle man and are not your friends

"Ride the social circle"?

 

[Trojan3000]

Dunno man, it sounds like you've been an orbiter or friendzoned one too many times.
How many actual regular dates have you gone on this year so far where it involved intimacy?

Sorry, old man, but social life is way different than it was back in your day. Now you're just coming at me sideways. I hope you go back to the initial post where you gave me some terrible advice about how I'd never get the girl back to see she replied to me today and apologized for ignoring me. The hilarity of how wrong you are in every one of your assumptions is ridiculous. I can't recall a SINGLE time ive even been friendzoned. I can't even tell if you're projecting your past or current insecurities on me or what

As to answer the personal question, 6-7. Majority of which was in the winter/spring before corona hit. My life revolves around music festivals ,night life, business, fitness. I have 3 "plates" currently, Have been seeing one mostly though just due to covid and being busy with work.

I don't see why youg uys are so harsh about having female friends? We have a huge friend group (around 14-15 people). Which is expecially dope when we go on our routine camping trips every summer. Some of you sound like you get pu$sy, but whats pu$sy if you have no social life? lol

and p.s. our friend group is as so that a few of us guys already slept with our friends before lol, but we try not to let it happen anymore. because it just feels weird.

I'm starting to remember exactly why I stopped visiting this forum. Everyone wants to act like a Don Juan, T hey want to make assumptions like their psychics, They think they know it all, but in essence just prove a lot more about themselves and their scarcity/pessimistic mindset than anything else. Sorry it took some of you 20-30 years to stop being a guy that you think everyone who joins this forum is. But you clearly have me wrong.