Believe me I understand this innately. But I also know that each of us are limited by our own level of growth and self awareness. I am still growing as a person, but I understand male/female dynamics very well, and I read the nuances very well. I get it.
I want to point out that your preferences and assumptions are coloring your commentary here. You make the assumption that 1. All men would silently disapprove (not true) and 2. That a woman should be able to mind read and know about this silent wish.
These are YOUR parameters. You cannot extrapolate those to others. Submission is out of respect. I have noted numerous times in this post how I place my man as the priority such that he does not doubt my loyalty versus my friends. I seek for my lover to be my best friend as well as my lover.
My two closest male friends (one is like a brother to me who I've known since age 16), and the other my Vegas ex from 30 years ago, are not people I talk to on the regular. Neither one is an orbiter, I assure you. They both have their own lives, their love lives, etc., as do I. Since going to Las Vegas last year on Labor Day I did not see my Vegas friend since that weekend until June of this year, and that was because my ex BF drove me down to go to dinner at his restaurant and meet him/spend time together for an evening. My other serious male friend I always see when I go back to my hometown at the holidays...as you would a sibling, and my ex BF met him several times. We talk at length a few times a year. So this is not something on the daily. And Vegas guy dates women half my age, lol. No orbiter there at all.
One of the other posters nailed it by saying, when you are in a place of great abundance you don't need to be thirsty for everything around you. My male friends are masculine, desirable guys, they are handsome devils too. Some of them actively run rotations of women that would make your head spin (one keeps a calendar with all the names...dates with 20 different women last month alone in the midst of a pandemic, lol - and many of these were escalated to sex btw)...so these men can get sex easily and can afford to be choosy. You don't eat when you aren't hungry, and you get really picky about what you'll consider when you have so many options. This leads me back to the alchemy of individual attraction as I noted previously. People with this much abundance become discerning, unless they are just sport f.cking, which is what some of these guys do, and easily too. It's pretty funny actually.
In many ways my buddies and I appreciate the perspective offered by the opposite sex, without all the complications of a sexual interaction or a "relationship". So it works just fine. I too have more abundance at any given time then I can (or want) to entertain...so I'm dialed in on my own parameters. Some of my buddies consider me the bigger player in fact because I know the game as well as I do. The difference is I have zero desire to get laid indiscriminately... I could of course, but that's too easy and it isn't who I am or how I conduct myself...the fact that I could, if I chose to is enough. No need to actually do it. So I reserve lover status only for men I truly desire...and those are rare birds indeed.
Typically no. Once in while yes, but only very occasionally and only with disclosure to the BF.
Not sister. Best friend. Like a sister, yes, but not a sister. My friend since I was 16 is like this as well. Like a brother. Known him 35 years.
Still an opposite sex friend.
@Lynx nkaf I do reveal that I am active in an online men's community. I don't give details because I value my privacy. Eventually I'll introduce my son around here. If anything ever happens to me I'd want him to be able to read my content, and I'd want him to know this community exists.
