lizardking82
Master Don Juan
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What I mean is...when you openly flirt with a woman...is that a sign to her that you want her more than she wants you otherwise she'd be flirting first?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Is flirting with a woman first a lower value signal?
- Thread starter lizardking82
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
corrector
Master Don Juan
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Flirting doesn't mean anything though. You are just taking a mild social risk by engaging in some sort of non-business interaction with a woman with the hopes of eliciting a positive response from her to make both her day and your day nicer than if you did nothing otherwise (i.e. usually with not a worst outcome unless the woman has a problem herself). I don't see how that is even wanting someone beyond just having a nice time with someone at the moment. Just engage in small talk and step it up if she's contributing fairly to the interaction.
I understand your viewpoint as I've played the cool, uninterested role before. And it has worked in my favor quite a few times. Honestly it depends on the situation. At times I'm able to dominate the flirty conversation when I see her getting nervous or flirtatious back. But there have been times when they have responded in a condescending manner to which I chalk up as a "you can't get them all" mindset and move on.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
MillionBillionaire
Master Don Juan
Flirting should never look try hard by one person but the essence of flirting is you are BOTH flirting, you are BOTH trying hard.
Otherwise It's just a one way clown show.
I swear ya'll look too much into PUA theory
Otherwise It's just a one way clown show.
I swear ya'll look too much into PUA theory
EyeBRollin
Master Don Juan
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Yes. Flirting is what women do to get a mans attention. Flirting is feminine. Your job as a man is to pick up on her interest and make something happen. Men are direct.
RangerMIke
Master Don Juan
You approach, if she flirts you flirt back. That's the dance and what is expected, but you should do something about it if you are interested in her. If you stand around flirting for more than 15 minutes she'll assume you are not really interested and her interest will drop.
Skyline
Master Don Juan
Flirting is just a social interaction. Even friends flirt with each other. Flirting is just a sign that you are normal and not socially dumb.