Started dating an older women with kids

[sangheilios]

Can we see a pic of how you look like? I am trying to pin something on your looks for lack of success but you are checking out so far. We need to see your face.

Trust me, it's not my looks that is the issue. I'm 6'4", broad shouldered, fit and a good looking dude. Women don't like that in a man lol.

I've already posted about that on this forum, other people on here were also stumped by that.

 

[sangheilios]

Treat this women ghosting thing as a fact of life and it wont bother you. Dont have any expectations if it is under 3 dates. These women act on their feelings and they may be into you one day but forget about you the next with no explanation at all.

I'm honestly considering not to bother anymore, the fact that this keeps happening for no reason says to me that I honestly need to throw in the towel, as it isn't good for my mental health or overall well being.

I keep saying this over and over.

I'm 6'4", I'm broad shouldered, I'm fit, I'm handsome, I'm educated, I'm going to physical therapy school next year. I don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't have an alcohol problem. I don't have kids, tons of tattoos, odd piercings, weird colored hair, no criminal record, etc. I'm presentable with my attire, I have a good group of friends, I'm a good guy, etc. I have hobbies and interests.

The list goes on and on lol. Not much more I can possibly improve upon. How is that not good enough?

 

[corrector]

I'm honestly considering not to bother anymore, the fact that this keeps happening for no reason says to me that I honestly need to throw in the towel, as it isn't good for my mental health or overall well being.

I keep saying this over and over.

I'm 6'4", I'm broad shouldered, I'm fit, I'm handsome, I'm educated, I'm going to physical therapy school next year. I don't smoke, don't do drugs, don't have an alcohol problem. I don't have kids, tons of tattoos, odd piercings, weird colored hair, no criminal record, etc. I'm presentable with my attire, I have a good group of friends, I'm a good guy, etc. I have hobbies and interests.

The list goes on and on lol. Not much more I can possibly improve upon. How is that not good enough?

You are not programmed to give up. You will try again later. You just need a break.

 

[sangheilios]

You are not programmed to give up. You will try again later. You just need a break.

I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm not programmed to give up lol, but logically I realize that this continuous pattern with the women here is not healthy for me. It makes me want to punch a wall or dig out my eyeballs with spoons, that's how angry and frustrating these experiences I have are.

I mentioned earlier in this thread that I'm trying to piece together some common denominators. The locations where I meet these women are all vastly different (gym, grocery store, bar/club, mutual acquaintances, bank, etc.). The women themselves on an individual level are different but the one thing that they do have in common is the fact that they live where I am and grew up here, though their backgrounds were all a bit different.

Another poster mentioned it might be my area and the women that populate it, this is the only logical conclusion I can come up with. Again, they are the ones behaving psychotically, not me, so that's where the problem lies.

 

[sangheilios]

@sangheilios I sense your frustration. It’s beyond evident. Sometimes people have to hit the wall so to speak before they breakthrough it.

Know that I understand your frustration. I hear it loud and clear. Those who wish to help you feel frustrated too!

Only you can do the next step! Homework...

I guarantee you there is a whole world of possibilities, on the other side of the wall.

What I actually need is to just not have this in my life, as I've mentioned all this brings to me is an extreme sense of frustration. This isn't good for my mental health and to be honest I think I'm just going to throw in the towel for now. I'm just going to focus on my courses for school, hang out with my friends, continue training/working out and keep making money.

I've intuitively always felt I was meant to be alone for life, I was aware of this at the age of 13.

 

[corrector]

I'm fully aware of the fact that I'm not programmed to give up lol, but logically I realize that this continuous pattern with the women here is not healthy for me. It makes me want to punch a wall or dig out my eyeballs with spoons, that's how angry and frustrating these experiences I have are.

I mentioned earlier in this thread that I'm trying to piece together some common denominators. The locations where I meet these women are all vastly different (gym, grocery store, bar/club, mutual acquaintances, bank, etc.). The women themselves on an individual level are different but the one thing that they do have in common is the fact that they live where I am and grew up here, though their backgrounds were all a bit different.

Another poster mentioned it might be my area and the women that populate it, this is the only logical conclusion I can come up with. Again, they are the ones behaving psychotically, not me, so that's where the problem lies.

Did this happen more than three times in a row? Anything less than three consecutive times you can attribute to chance and next one lucky.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

What I actually need is to just not have this in my life, as I've mentioned all this brings to me is an extreme sense of frustration. This isn't good for my mental health and to be honest I think I'm just going to throw in the towel for now. I'm just going to focus on my courses for school, hang out with my friends, continue training/working out and keep making money.

I've intuitively always felt I was meant to be alone for life, I was aware of this at the age of 13.

Losing strategy. You already identified that you socialize better with high iq types. That you bore "normal" people and "normal" people bore you. Maybe you could take a class or classes on socializing. Its all part of the game.

 

[corrector]

Still an interesting case study. Everytime I see posters coming here with decent looks, and have their life together and still can't get any girls, even bottom feeders, shatters the belief that if you look a certain way, or have certain things in order in your life, that it would be easier to get a proper (or any +5hb girlfriend). It almost makes more sense never to have a mentality of getting into this when the rest of your life is in order, but to invest in practicing game or chasing women, no matter where you are in life.

Isn't allot of emphasis on self-improvement here and LMS, really a re-packaged blue-pill/beta-bux thing after all? This thread for example sounds very blue-pill in the sense of having your life in order and looking right -- following the rules -- and still not landing a girlfriend. You just don't expect to be incel with blue-pill, maybe an AFC but not that extreme. Guess times must have really changed that there are more incels then AFCs.

 

[sangheilios]

Losing strategy. You already identified that you socialize better with high iq types. That you bore "normal" people and "normal" people bore you. Maybe you could take a class or classes on socializing. Its all part of the game.

I don't know if I bore them but I definitely don't have much in common with most people and have a hard time relating to them, I'm referring to this in a general sense and not specifically with women.

I don't know if I need to take a class, but I do regularly speak to a large variety of people.....but as I said I don't really have that much in common with them. I just show a genuine interest in them as individuals but beyond that there isn't much there to work with.

That's why I do mention on here repeatedly that I have friends and have a life, as I think most people read my posts and assume I just play computer games all day and don't socialize at all.

 

[sangheilios]

Still an interesting case study. Everytime I see posters coming here with decent looks, and have their life together and still can't get any girls, even bottom feeders, shatters the belief that if you look a certain way, or have certain things in order in your life, that it would be easier to get a proper (or any +5hb girlfriend). It almost makes more sense never to have a mentality of getting into this when the rest of your life is in order, but to invest in practicing game or chasing women, no matter where you are in life.

Isn't allot of emphasis on self-improvement here and LMS, really a re-packaged blue-pill/beta-bux thing after all? This thread for example sounds very blue-pill in the sense of having your life in order and looking right -- following the rules -- and still not landing a girlfriend. You just don't expect to be incel with blue-pill, maybe an AFC but not that extreme. Guess times must have really changed that there are more incels then AFCs.

That's why I repeatedly mention on here about what my life is like and the fact that I am normal, have friends and all that lol. Any person reading these posts would assume I'm short, fat, ugly, weird and just play video games all day.

I don't do what I do to get women, though I think we all subconsciously do these things in order to acquire them.

Seriously, I'm 6'4" and fit.....not many guys can say they have that going for them lol.

 

[corrector]

I don't know if I need to take a class, but I do regularly speak to a large variety of people.....but as I said I don't really have that much in common with them. I just show a genuine interest in them as individuals but beyond that there isn't much there to work with.

That's why I do mention on here repeatedly that I have friends and have a life, as I think most people read my posts and assume I just play computer games all day and don't socialize at all.

I think this board has just got too blue-pill. They assume that if you build they will come (i.e. have a proper job, have a good social life, hit the GYM), etc...but I don't see how that's different from blue-pill think. The other spectrum is you can be an absolute loser in life and a loner, but if you magically do game, you can't attract an hb10 or something like that, and that's supposed to be red-pill. Obviously blue-pill is not working even on an AFC level and people are saying red-pill doesn't work either because technology (i.e. women's access to the smartphone and Tinder and hypergamy) has obliterated that too.

 

[corrector]

That's why I repeatedly mention on here about what my life is like and the fact that I am normal, have friends and all that lol. Any person reading these posts would assume I'm short, fat, ugly, weird and just play video games all day.

I don't do what I do to get women, though I think we all subconsciously do these things in order to acquire them.

Seriously, I'm 6'4" and fit.....not many guys can say they have that going for them lol.

Don't see anything wrong with the pics (no homo) and don't see looks as a reason for not landing a girlfriend unless something was hideously wrong with your face. This is the only thing that is not clear. Please post an enlarged face shot.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't know if I bore them but I definitely don't have much in common with most people and have a hard time relating to them, I'm referring to this in a general sense and not specifically with women.

I don't know if I need to take a class, but I do regularly speak to a large variety of people.....but as I said I don't really have that much in common with them. I just show a genuine interest in them as individuals but beyond that there isn't much there to work with.

That's why I do mention on here repeatedly that I have friends and have a life, as I think most people read my posts and assume I just play computer games all day and don't socialize at all.

Maybe there are some listening skills which will help. Your not the only person whose felt that way. Im sure someone has felt like you and made the necessary adjustments to be user friendly with a broader audience.

 

[corrector]

First one is an older picture from when I got home from being in the hospital for a week, second one is recent when I was using my laptop.

Do not see anything wrong with the face-pics either. So you tried Tinder and didn't get any matches?

 

[sangheilios]

Do not see anything wrong with the face-pics either. So you tried Tinder and didn't get any matches?

Yeah, a few different times but not recently though. One time I restarted the app and swiped right on everything, all I got matched with was 3s and below, it was seriously shocking. The ones that I did match with acted super entitled, as if they were better than me.

Women just don't find me attractive, so I'm not going to bother anymore. As I said, it isn't good for my mental health knowing that nothing I ever do will be good enough....so avoiding reminders of this by not dealing with women will be for the better.

 

[Billtx49]

Women just don't find me attractive, so I'm not going to bother anymore. As I said, it isn't good for my mental health knowing that nothing I ever do will be good enough....so avoiding reminders of this by not dealing with women will be for the better.

Yep, time for some monk mode and inner soul searching for you bro…

 

[sangheilios]

Yep, time for some monk mode and inner soul searching for you bro…

Nothing wrong with me, all I do know is that nothing I do will be good enough for them. I can keep trying and continue to get nothing as my mental health deteriorates or I can show myself some self respect by avoiding the source of these issues, which is the women themselves.

There is a reason why so many men are MGTOW. I used to believe it was only ugly losers who fell into this category, but seeing how much I struggle with this as an above average guy my perspective on this has changed.

If a 6'4", broad shouldered, fit, handsome, educated and respectable good man like me isn't enough for these women nothing ever will be. Hell, not that it matters but I even have a big penis lol. These *****s don't deserve a man like me, their loss lol.

 

[Billtx49]

Nothing wrong with me, all I do know is that nothing I do will be good enough for them. I can keep trying and continue to get nothing as my mental health deteriorates or I can show myself some self respect by avoiding the source of these issues, which is the women themselves.

There is a reason why so many men are MGTOW. I used to believe it was only ugly losers who fell into this category, but seeing how much I struggle with this as an above average guy my perspective on this has changed.

If a 6'4", broad shouldered, fit, handsome, educated and respectable good man like me isn't enough for these women nothing ever will be. Hell, not that it matters but I even have a big penis lol. These *****s don't deserve a man like me, their loss lol.

A MGTOW board may be a better fit for you then…
Like minds type action and advice over there…

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Nothing wrong with me, all I do know is that nothing I do will be good enough for them. I can keep trying and continue to get nothing as my mental health deteriorates or I can show myself some self respect by avoiding the source of these issues, which is the women themselves.

There is a reason why so many men are MGTOW. I used to believe it was only ugly losers who fell into this category, but seeing how much I struggle with this as an above average guy my perspective on this has changed.

If a 6'4", broad shouldered, fit, handsome, educated and respectable good man like me isn't enough for these women nothing ever will be. Hell, not that it matters but I even have a big penis lol. These *****s don't deserve a man like me, their loss lol.

They dont care about all that. Are you something juicy to gossip about on their grapevine?

 

[niceguytoalphamale]

Example
A few months ago I went in a few dates with a local pediatrician. In the end I felt he was gruff, brash and judgemental so I let things die. Recently I found myself in a bind for some anti nausea medication for my kids (anti car sick) so I reached out to him to see if the expired stuff I had would be okay. He offered to write me a new script. I was grateful, offered to take him to dinner, he said "yes!". Figured I would see if things maybe could work.

I have been reaching out over text for the past few days, initiating over random topics, just trying to get casual conversation/contact going. Hoping (once again) to connect.

Guess what? He's been gruff, brash and judgemental. I'm thinking he doesn't realize how he comes across over text, OR he is "IDGAF, this is who I am".

I now find myself wondering WHY I want to spend any time with him. Seems like it would be more enjoyable, less stressful, to stay home alone. It's not the $ I would spend on dinner, it's the idea that I'm going to spend time with someone who's company isn't enjoyable.

I initiated, proposed a date and, because if the way he comes off, am considering ghosting.

Beware the text and verbal game

Power struggle lol