lamath
Master Don Juan
It can be hard for some men.
He just need to.socialise more and stop finding excuses.
Nothing wrong with Dave except his mindset.
He should go by the saying Always assume interest.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
This is what makes me feel incredibly hopeless in dating
- Thread starter bigdave17
- Start date
- Status
He just need to.socialise more and stop finding excuses.
Nothing wrong with Dave except his mindset.
He should go by the saying Always assume interest.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Ironically, it's Hollywood who destroyed the family dynamic and men being men. Now, if that's not the kettle calling the pot black..
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Fvck his requirements. He is not at the position to have those standareds. He needs to FVCK.
RickTheToad
Moderator
The issue is he wants a lady who looks like a goddess and refuses to settle for anything less. It's like me wanting to become governor of Connecticut, but I do not want to run for office. I just want the Connecticut General Assembly to grant me the office of Governor. Not going to happen. He also lives in the suburbs and doesn't want to go to the city (I empathize). So, when you add both together that would equate to a sexless life. He doesn't realize when he hooks up with 5 - 7's other ladies will notice and he'd slowly move up the levels. However, I will caution, even I had an 8 and 9 and trust when I say, it's really not worth it. Then again, you have 5's who think they are 10's, so who knows anymore.
He needs to work on his self confidence. It's as simple as that. He refuses to do so and posts here instead.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
There is no work to do but shut his mouth stop complaining and start fvcking his way forward.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Easier said than done. All we can do is try and encourage him to do so, not judge or berate him.
Rick...Don't make me pull up quotes of you judging and berating people. Knock it off
RickTheToad
Moderator
I don't believe I have. I make as many mistakes if not more than others. People come her for advice, as do I. I always try to give objective advice as best as possible. It may be harsh or direct, but it's not to attack a person.
maybe 2 years
but I've never had sex with anybody who was dating material - it's all been single moms, women over 30, chubby girls, etc... I did sleep with a pretty good looking 25 year old with no kids with a hot body but she was a smoker and trashy.
the reason I haven't had sex with anybody since then is I've told myself no more engaging with any nonsense that isn't dating material
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
why do people here keep talking about this nonsense of me wanting a 10?
I've POSTED PICS of the women I went after on dating sites and Guru rated them as 4s, 5s and 6s. Guru rated me a 7.5/10
I'm literally interested in women less attractive than myself who make a fraction of my income. I'm barely even picky on the face, I just want a decent sorta cute face with a hot body.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Bingo and there's your issue. You are putting too much pressure on you and indirectly any lady you chat with. As @Glassguy says, take it as it comes and do not have pressure for anything. Just enjoy the moment. Enjoy the experience.
RickTheToad
Moderator
IIRC, you posted pics multiple times of ladies you'd like to have as your partner. They were' 4 - 6's. They were some very attractive latin or Armenian ladies. Some instagram model too.
lamath
Master Don Juan
Smv for.men is not just look and $
I just wanted to elaborate on this
this is the real issue with the dating world nowadays. Women are graded on such a massively curved scale - a decent looking woman with a nice body, who makes 50K a year with a decent job, has no kids, somewhat intelligent, somewhat classy, etc... is treated as absolute gold even though she's just barely above average to where I've never even slept with somebody like that in 15 years of wanting one. Me - a 7/10 making 200K a year with no kids, works out 6 days a week, very intelligent, etc.... struggles massively to get a date. Men have to do 10 times more work for 1/10 the same result
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
that's what I would love to get with
in real world, I would settle for much much less. In reality, I'm barely even picky on the face - I just want a decent face (no ugly chicks with terrible skin). I am pretty picky on the body - I want a girl who works out and has a decent ass and decent waist with at least B cup tits but I'm in great shape myself. Basically figure that I'm cool with a 6 face with a 7 body. I'm a 7.5 face with a 7 or 8 body
RickTheToad
Moderator
I will ask you again, what do you have to offer a lady aside from $$$? Ladies, in general, make their own money, so this is really not as important initially. As you enter into an LTR or hell forbid, marriage, then it becomes more of an issue.
Ladies, for the most part, can sense despiration on a man. @AJ84, @BeExcellent, @sazc can prob. give more info on this. However, I wouldn't be surprised if you give off this aura on you; and you prob. don't even realize it. I encourage you to take baby steps with the ladies you are even mildly attracted to and work up from there. No one said you had to fvck or even kiss them. Just to get more experience and over time it will get easier for you to achieve what you want in terms of a lady; generally speaking. If you are heart set on ladies who look like or are Karen Vi, Bebe Rexha, or Arianna Grande; we'll that may be a tough mountain to climb. Who knows, it may be possible if you get yourself 100 and on point in everything.
ChillDude6767
Banned
- Joined
- Mar 22, 2019
- Messages
- 97
- Reaction score
- 36
- Age
- 37
Only weirdos do that sh1t.
RickTheToad
Moderator
Different strokes for different folks dude.
corrector
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 12, 2009
- Messages
- 10,391
- Reaction score
- 4,058
So you've been an incel for 15 years then. That would be 2004. Yeah, 15 years passes by really fast.
The last time I met a college aged girl that had no kids, was a virgin herself, no baggage was back in 2007. I think she was the first girl I french kissed with ever. Well, I guess I'm 3 years ahead of you then in terms of meeting that type of women. I also met her online.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
- Status