"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Drunk sex problem

J

jaymbrs

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Laid this chick 2 nights ago after a whole day of drinking. We’re talking 13-15 beers. I don’t know about you guys but when I’m drunk I struggle to ejaculate. Anyway about 10 minutes I realize I’m not going to be able to get off and I also started realizing this chick was going dry. Started to become uncomfortable but I keep focused and tough it out because I knew I was probably not going to bang this broad again since she had a boyfriend. So I keep going, pounding as hard as I can grabbing her D cup tits and eventually manage to bust a nut.

However...

The next day my **** was sore as ****. And as the day progressed I realized the sides of my **** were red and really raw. Bros this is a terrible feeling. The worst part is this chick wants me to come over again and the last thing I want to do is **** right now. This is painful.

Anybody else have this happen? What’s the best remedy?
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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J

jaymbrs

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taiyuu_otoko said:
Just tell her your d*ck is raw. Make sure she's got a vibrator.

I was hoping for a better story based on the headline. One that involved moving vehicles, explosions, a couple cactus...
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Lol well it’s disastrous for me.
 
oldmanofthesea

oldmanofthesea

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Time and a lot of air. Air that thing out as much as possible. Sleep naked. Apply some hydrocortisone to it (the cream, not the ointment that is petroleum jelly based). If you really want to fix it fast, get prescription hydrocortisone cream. Don't bang or j/o until it's fully healed.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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sazc

sazc

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Lanolin works very well to heal chaffing. They suggest it's use to breastfeeding mother's for raw nipples.

You can get it in the baby section of Walmart, etc.
 
S

Spaz

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Sore d1ck is due to over fvcking or ur lady not being sufficiently lubricated.

A full 48 hours d1ck rest will be sufficient ime.
 
J

jaymbrs

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oldmanofthesea said:
Time and a lot of air. Air that thing out as much as possible. Sleep naked. Apply some hydrocortisone to it (the cream, not the ointment that is petroleum jelly based). If you really want to fix it fast, get prescription hydrocortisone cream. Don't bang or j/o until it's fully healed.
Click to expand...
Sucks too because I only wear boxer briefs. FML
 
R

Ranger

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jaymbrs said:
Laid this chick 2 nights ago after a whole day of drinking. We’re talking 13-15 beers. I don’t know about you guys but when I’m drunk I struggle to ejaculate. Anyway about 10 minutes I realize I’m not going to be able to get off and I also started realizing this chick was going dry. Started to become uncomfortable but I keep focused and tough it out because I knew I was probably not going to bang this broad again since she had a boyfriend. So I keep going, pounding as hard as I can grabbing her D cup tits and eventually manage to bust a nut.

However...

The next day my **** was sore as ****. And as the day progressed I realized the sides of my **** were red and really raw. Bros this is a terrible feeling. The worst part is this chick wants me to come over again and the last thing I want to do is **** right now. This is painful.

Anybody else have this happen? What’s the best remedy?
Click to expand...
Yeah. Was in the Philippines and a buddy of mine wanted to have a contest on who could lay the most in one night. I ended up getting six. I couldn’t have been worse off.

I stopped drinking but my buddy didn’t. But then he didn’t remember who he had sex with either. So he owed me a pizza when we got to Perth, Australia. It wasn’t worth no damn pizza.
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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MrJack

MrJack

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jaymbrs said:
Laid this chick 2 nights ago after a whole day of drinking. We’re talking 13-15 beers. I don’t know about you guys but when I’m drunk I struggle to ejaculate. Anyway about 10 minutes I realize I’m not going to be able to get off and I also started realizing this chick was going dry. Started to become uncomfortable but I keep focused and tough it out because I knew I was probably not going to bang this broad again since she had a boyfriend. So I keep going, pounding as hard as I can grabbing her D cup tits and eventually manage to bust a nut.

However...

The next day my **** was sore as ****. And as the day progressed I realized the sides of my **** were red and really raw. Bros this is a terrible feeling. The worst part is this chick wants me to come over again and the last thing I want to do is **** right now. This is painful.

Anybody else have this happen? What’s the best remedy?
Click to expand...
It’s because you kept fvcking her while she started getting wet then you kept going.

Happened to me a few times throughout the years... girl goes dry during sex and at that point it hurts a bit but obviously you keep going.

The next day yea.. your d*ck will hurt.

Give it a couple days it’ll be good as new
 
F

fanatic22

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jaymbrs said:
Laid this chick 2 nights ago after a whole day of drinking. We’re talking 13-15 beers. I don’t know about you guys but when I’m drunk I struggle to ejaculate. Anyway about 10 minutes I realize I’m not going to be able to get off and I also started realizing this chick was going dry. Started to become uncomfortable but I keep focused and tough it out because I knew I was probably not going to bang this broad again since she had a boyfriend. So I keep going, pounding as hard as I can grabbing her D cup tits and eventually manage to bust a nut.

However...

The next day my **** was sore as ****. And as the day progressed I realized the sides of my **** were red and really raw. Bros this is a terrible feeling. The worst part is this chick wants me to come over again and the last thing I want to do is **** right now. This is painful.

Anybody else have this happen? What’s the best remedy?
Click to expand...
Durex Massage & Play will prevent this from happening in the future
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

M

Mazer

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I’m surprised you managed to get it up after 15beers. I would have gone to sleep and banged her out in the morning but then again I’m 40 haha
 
J

jaymbrs

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flowtheory said:
Always have lube in your bedside table
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I do have some but this was at her place.

4th day and I’m still not good to go. There some tears in the skin that haven’t healed yet. I’m pissed now.
 
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