zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
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"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Online dating experts, I need your help
- Thread starter bigdave17
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
this girl liked me today - she's exactly my type physically but her profile is so weird
"420 friendly
Do not msg me if your just looking to chat not here for pen pals I’m here to meet so if your not capable of planning a date don’t msg me
I DONT DRINK looking for someone different then the rest let’s go get facials together let’s smoke a blunt not looking for boring guys that just want to grab dinner be creative and stand out from the rest
Instagram- miss_bugadi "
is this even worth messaging? Sounds like an annoying *****
What do you guys say once you're matched with a girl? Just have normal conversation? I feel like anything I want to say sounds so boring. I don't have a creative imagination
"420 friendly
Do not msg me if your just looking to chat not here for pen pals I’m here to meet so if your not capable of planning a date don’t msg me
I DONT DRINK looking for someone different then the rest let’s go get facials together let’s smoke a blunt not looking for boring guys that just want to grab dinner be creative and stand out from the rest
Instagram- miss_bugadi "
is this even worth messaging? Sounds like an annoying *****
What do you guys say once you're matched with a girl? Just have normal conversation? I feel like anything I want to say sounds so boring. I don't have a creative imagination
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Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
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- Oct 22, 2007
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- 5,174
Glasses are hot.
why she liked me then?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
I smoke once in a while but not really
holy ****ing god it is hard to find women on there who are classy, normal, not hippies, not weird vegan bitches, not trashy *****s, not single moms or chubby, etc...
sazc
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2016
- Messages
- 4,468
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Welcome to online dating!
On my end they tend to be high school educated, single dad's, who are, financial zeros, can't drive a conversation to save their lives, and don't know what a gym is...and they all believe that are the SH1T !!
It ain't pretty online and I don't think you are built for it
If you use it as a complement instead of relying on it, its not as bad
why can't I get anybody to read my messages? I'm ok if they read it but ignore it but all my messges are still undelivered status showing
sazc
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 23, 2016
- Messages
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I'm not sure you're ready for the anxiety that OLD brings.
Why haven't they read your messages?
maybe they don't check their account anymore? Maybe they only check their account once a week? Maybe they only check their account once a day? Maybe they're so busy with their families on the holiday they're not checking their online dating?
There's one of a thousand reasons they aren't reading your message, you need to not care and move on. These are strangers, they don't know you. Ehat they do, or don't do, shouldn't impact you.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
literally none of my messages are read
i understand if they read the messages but don't like me, that's fine but none of them are even read
You're going to run across several girls who you're attracted to but may not match your lifestyle. You should ask yourself if you're willing to compromise or if you should move on. This one should've been an easy no unless you're willing to blaze up with her.
As for no one reading your messages, don't sweat it. Like Sazc stated, there are numerous reasons they won't read or reply. If you let these things get to you, you'll end up anxious or miserable. Play the numbers game, message when you have some free time and keep an eye on it but don't let it rule you. It's good you're finally trying out OLD now calm down and keep at it.
guru1000
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2007
- Messages
- 5,299
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- 4,338
This is true. Guru has 99% attractiveness and 90%+ trust/intelligence on all his pics. This is why he gets all the 8s and 9s of all ages.
Dave, as long as this guy Guru is in the picture, he's going to steal all your women. It's time to eliminate him.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
where do 8s and 9s even exist on dating sites? i think hottest female I've seen is a 7.5
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
Bigdave17 not even in a position to worry about relationships
is this just a NYC thing? I live 45 minutes from Chicago and the hottest I've seen online is maybe a 7.5
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.