She didn't confirm the date tonight...

[wifehunter]

Needy guys need confirmations. DJ's are out having fun, regardless.

 

[Poonani Maker]

I would not have said that you have to go to bed. For one thing, she doesn't CARE. Women are VERY selfish, the most of them. They almost ALL want you to suck it up and be tough and not complain (that's what They do). I've found this time and time and time again, women care not one iota about Your troubles, only hers. It's ALL about Her. You just be non-complacent, you be the d!ck there waiting for her to mount. She will hardly ever try to meet your needs.

 

[marvinlfloresq]

Hi everyone.
Just a thought, you set it up properly. I read your post couple of times, she is working with you. You finish the text/comversation, its up to you now.

When in doubt, "CALL"!*. The day before, hey I'll see you there, and show up. Lol, too many of you "over analyse". If she doesnt show up, you may meet someone else instead of being home on the pc or phone. Gl buddy!

We are still neanderthals, only we have cellphones & politics now.

 

[Glassguy]

So what happened tonight with this chick?

 

[Mazer]

I would have left the part out where you have to be in bed by 10pm. If you have to be up early, just meet her for the date, have a drink, kino her and call it a night, that’s when you tell her you have to be up early. Chicks always looking for a reason to flake on dates. That was your mistake.

 

[Glassguy]

You guys want to set up the date and vanish for a week, this is the sh*t that comes as a result.

I never confirm because I know they are showing up. I know they are showing up because I have escalated without vanishing for days.

This. Its why I have never been a fan of setting up a date and then disappearing. It only helps gain interest if you keep in contact from the scheduling of the date until the date. Rapport is a good thing.

If done correctly she will initiate most of the communication (text, messenger, etc) and you will at least learn a little about her to give you ammo for discussion topics when you meet her on the date. Which is good because you want to get her talking about herself and the stuff she likes and leave yourself as somewhat a mystery after the first date.

 

[AJ84]

This. Its why I have never been a fan of setting up a date and then disappearing. It only helps gain interest if you keep in contact from the scheduling of the date until the date. Rapport is a good thing.

If done correctly she will initiate most of the communication (text, messenger, etc) and you will at least learn a little about her to give you ammo for discussion topics when you meet her on the date. Which is good because you want to get her talking about herself and the stuff she likes and leave yourself as somewhat a mystery after the first date.

100% agree. Some guys think setting up a date and ghosting for the week sets up ‘intrigue’.
It doesn’t usually. And women who have other men they are talking to will continue to build rapport with them while the no contact before date guy is doing the opposite.

 

[Glassguy]

I agree with @AJ84

For a woman to show up on a date, there must be both attraction and interest. She is attracted to you if she is messaging you unless she is an attention wh0re.

There also needs to be a certain level of comfort. We live in the day and age of Craiglist Killers and so forth, so it only helps to have SOME communication back and forth in between. In a perfect world the woman will initiate all of the communication and we as men just keep it going and respond back whenever we have a chance, but not too much......

This is always the case when a woman has extremely high interest. She will make it easy to both stay in touch and make the date.

A large % of the issues that men have on here would be eliminated if they could tell the difference between high and low interest in a woman.

 

[Alvafe]

100% agree. Some guys think setting up a date and ghosting for the week sets up ‘intrigue’.
It doesn’t usually. And women who have other men they are talking to will continue to build rapport with them while the no contact before date guy is doing the opposite.

or have more important things to do then spend the night on his phone texting a girl

 

[AJ84]

or have more important things to do then spend the night on his phone texting a girl

It’s not about spending the night on his phone texting a girl. How hard is it to send one flirty message, a funny meme or something?

If you have more important things to do than take 5 seconds to send one text msg to a woman who is interested enough to go on a date with you, then why the hell should she consider sleeping with you? That’s the main goal right?

This is what happens when you use your logic and assume women operate based on that.

They don’t. Part of being successful with women means understanding them from (gasp) their perspective, and using that to your benefit.

Do you know how many articles there are online giving women tips on how to attract and keep a man? Most of them are not based on female logic.

 

[AJ84]

I don't understand why so many guys make this sound like it's a tedious and time consuming chore.

It's supposed to be fun.

Cracking a smile when your phone dings because you know there's some witty, playful, flirty banter going back and forth is far more intriguing, IMO, than vanishing for days on end in an attempt to look "busy and mysterious".

They don't become eager to meet you because you seemed like a busy guy the previous 3 days...

“He hasn’t texted me in four days. Even better, he hasn’t responded to my text! Yay! I’m so excited to meet this busy GQ man who is so kind to give me a sliver of his time and attention”.

Said no women ever.

 

[AJ84]

Lol.

I'm fine with the basic idea of keeping yourself busy (genuinely) to an extent you're not going appear the type to cling to her because you have nothing better to do. But I definitely think too many guys fail to realize it can completely kill any impression of spontaneity when taken too far.

If you're so busy that for days on end you cannot find the little bit of time to shoot a text message here and there, how many months in advance does a "spontaneous" weekend getaway have to be planned with this guy? Being too busy can be a huge deterrent for a lot of people.

Yeah I was being a bit cheeky there lol.

Yeah it’s attractive when a guy has his own hobbies and interests and got stuff going on. It’s shows substance and let’s us know we should not expect him to drop his own stuff and fall to our feet just because we are female and he’s attracted to us. It can actually screen out those kinds of self absorbed entitled women who know they can’t manipulate him into being her love puppy on a leash.

Some guys here seem to go to the extreme with the busy life no contact before dates thing.

There’s a balance.

 

[marmel75]

So what happened on the date?

 

[Glassguy]

So what happened on the date?

Based on the lack of follow up by OP, I will guess there wasnt a date. Not shocking since there was no communication for the 3 days leading up to it.

 

[marmel75]

Based on the lack of follow up by OP, I will guess there wasnt a date. Not shocking since there was no communication for the 3 days leading up to it.

Earlier he said she texted a few hours before that she was looking forward to meeting him

 

[Alvafe]

It’s not about spending the night on his phone texting a girl. How hard is it to send one flirty message, a funny meme or something?

If you have more important things to do than take 5 seconds to send one text msg to a woman who is interested enough to go on a date with you, then why the hell should she consider sleeping with you? That’s the main goal right?

This is what happens when you use your logic and assume women operate based on that.

They don’t. Part of being successful with women means understanding them from (gasp) their perspective, and using that to your benefit.

Do you know how many articles there are online giving women tips on how to attract and keep a man? Most of them are not based on female logic.

how hard? simple I don't care or even like writing in my phone, even less waste time talking over a phone, want to meet to talk fine by me we settle a place and time, anything over then that, I don't send, I answer every once in a while but not waste much time, its also helps I forget about it when i'm doing things

 

[Rainman4707]

I would'nt send to many texts considering advice given by experienced members over the years :-

" Why after you have date confirmed are you still TEXTING HER. She has said she will meet you. You have acheived your goal. Nothing can be gained by texting her after date is arranged. Maybe one text on day of date to confirm."

"Please dont do that again. Please enlighten me why you felt the need to TEXT her again. You had a meetup arranged. If you do one thing on this forum for the remainder of your time here, remember this : The only purpose of your phone is to setup the date & logistics. THATS IT! Nothing else. NO TEXTING. What were you trying to gain from texting her. You can only lose.
Only reason you should text is if it's been over a few days with no contact. Maybe a few ****y/funny messages back & forth. Thats it. No 7 or 8 messages back & forth. Doing several messages increases the chance of you saying something she dose'nt like, something that will lower her interest."

Interesting thread. good reading. Thanks.

 

[sazc]

100% agree. Some guys think setting up a date and ghosting for the week sets up ‘intrigue’.
It doesn’t usually. And women who have other men they are talking to will continue to build rapport with them while the no contact before date guy is doing the opposite.

Yep, and then, when she does flake, dudes here fall back to the ego saving hypergamy theory, lol

 

[StrayCat]

100% agree. Some guys think setting up a date and ghosting for the week sets up ‘intrigue’.
It doesn’t usually. And women who have other men they are talking to will continue to build rapport with them while the no contact before date guy is doing the opposite.

Even when men do keep in contact the girls lose interest. It is a double edged sword when it's like pin the tail on the donkey when you are blindfolded and have two hands tied behind your back. Some men just cannot win.

 

[HankHill]

Well this certainly blew up! haha OK I'm back from my trip...sorry to keep y'all waiting lol OK I'll try to do the TLDR version first...overall I think it went OK, not bad but not great and I'll explain below what I mean.

So that day around 5:40pm she txts me 'Will 7pm work?' I responded with 'That eager to see me huh? I'm flattered! lol Yeah, I think I can make 7pm' She responded 'lol...ok'
She was a couple of mins late but had texted that she's almost there. No big deal. We hugged, grabbed a high table, I sat next to her. Nice live music (though a bit too loud), got drinks etc. She didn't look too bad at all...a bit older than in the pics but still a cute face. We got to talking, the usual stuff about life, work, etc that you find out about each other. There were a couple of red flags for sure when she mentioned a few things about her ex husband (divorced 6yrs ago), she had a lot of anger still, but I guess it's understandable, the guy left her while she was pregnant with two kids. Anyway after about an hr just as I started to consciously think that I should probably do some kino because so far there hadn't been an opportunity, she started talking about her last date how the guy came on strong and she didn't like that. Said that he literally grabbed her and kissed her at the end of the date and she felt very uncomfortable. She said a light kiss at the end is one thing but this was too uncomfortable. He then tried to hold her hand and said they should uber to some bar (club? I can't remember) because he doesn't want to put too many miles on his new Porsche. Then told her that he doesn't have uber on his phone and if she can call it. She said it was so weird because earlier he had said that most OLD women are gold diggers. Anyway, supposedly she told him that she was tired and would rather head home. Then the next day he invites her to his place. She said, do I look like an idiot or what? Does he not think that I know what inviting to his place means? why does he think I was ready for that if I've barely met him and I'm already questioning how he came across. Anyway, I thought this was interesting to share here and needless to say I just barely touched her arm as I made a couple of jokes, nothing more than that. Around 9pm she started yawning (she's an ICU nurse) but kept on chatting. At 9:30 (2.5hrs flew by) I asked for the check and we headed out. I walked her to her car and as we were chatting she surprised me by motioning to hug while I was mid-sentence so I reached and I *think* she might be trying to go for the lips but ended up grazing across my right cheek. I felt really stupid but I was mid-sentence so it totally surprised me. She then opened her car door and sat part way inside and said 'hope you have fun, send some pics from the trip (off-road/camping trip with some buddies). I told her I won't have a cell signal but I will when I return (which is now). I then reached in to give her a kiss on the lips but this time she almost gave me the cheek but not totally so I ended up kissing half of her lips LOL. I then said 'have a good night...and...we'll chat later'. She said good night and that was that.

So questions...

1. Should I txt her a couple of pics from my trip? Should I send just some generic landscape pics or ones with me in them? I'm thinking that I should but only a couple of landscape pics so I can show her the others when/if we meet again?
2. Should I wait at least a week to ask for another date? A lot of people like Corey Wayne and AMS say to only make dates once a week and give her the rest of the time to think about you, it builds excitement/anticipation? My normal way of asking is 'Hey, <some random one of two response chit chat> and then 'when are you free to get together again?' and go from there. Between her schedule and mine chances are that it WILL be next week, possibly the 2nd weekend from now.

As for chit chatting in between, I'm doing that with a couple of other women I recently went out with and it's starting to get boring...you can only do so much fun/playful stuff but if you've got over a week to go before the next date what do you say on the date since you've already 'become familiar' over txting by then.

OK...it's late, I'm beat...off to bed!