"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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3 dates, two hookups, now what

BJP1991

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First date (on a Thursday) was patio drinks then a walk outdoors on a warm summer evening. Holding hands on the walk, hugging, and the date ending with her suggesting a second date on Sunday.

She texts me 30-45 mins after, thanking for the walk, saying I am adorable, and that she is really glad we met.

Sunday rolls around and we grab a drink at a local bar and head to our county fair, which happened to be going on. Rides, drinks, holding hands, kissing, her touching me all over. I could tell she was super into me - night ended with more hugging, kissing, and her wanting a third date the coming Tuesday. Again, a text about me being a good kisser and making her cheeks hurt. She also said “This could be the start of something pretty good.” Which is probably the most-forward thing a girl has texted me after just a second date.

Tuesday night we go out, have fun, and hook up back at her place. The next morning I leave for work and she hugs and kisses me out the door.

That day she’s blowing up my phone at work and I just go for it and setup a movie and hangout again that night. Hookup again and I leave for work in the morning. This time no kisses at the door, she stayed in bed.

Since then, her texts to me became much more infrequent, but still lively and engaging as they were in the early days when she was blowing up my phone. I wait until Saturday and ask her out for Sunday - she blows me off, saying she is sick and exhausted from working late at the bar. I act cool about it, saying “Feel better! Let me know when you’re available, (wink emoji)”.

Four days pass with no texts from her. I ask again Wednesday for a date Friday, she says still sick, feels bad, would love to do something other than work. We exchange 1 or 2 texts and she wishes me a goodnight.

Since then, no word or interaction at all after 1 week. I really dig this chick and I know she works a lot running the bar she works at, but still (right?). Also, it is not like I haven’t been seeing other women too (4 dates with different women since our last text exchange a week ago). But, she is hot and fun - so I do think about her.

Is it even worth trying a third time after waiting a full two weeks? Clearly her interest plummeted and before anyone goes saying “the sex was bad” I know it could not be the case. Any advice?

Thanks!
 
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"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Mazer

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Sounds like an ex is back in the picture. A woman who love bombs you right from the start, acts like you are already in a relationship and then shows disinterest overnight usually means another guy is in the picture. Probably went sour and now he is back. Did you meet her on OLD? Let her reach out. Accept that she might not.

She called you “adorable”
 

MrJack

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Definitely don’t hit her up until she reaches out to you. Asking a third time after 2 no’s will make you appear needy. Keep talking and going on dates with your other prospects and get your mind off of this one.

Once she does reach out, go ahead meetup with her and hook up with her again.

Keep it simple
 

BJP1991

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Sounds like an ex is back in the picture. A woman who love bombs you right from the start, acts like you are already in a relationship and then shows disinterest overnight usually means another guy is in the picture. Probably went sour and now he is back. Did you meet her on OLD? Let her reach out. Accept that she might not.

She called you “adorable”
We did, we met on one of the three major apps (tinder/bumble/Hinge - but I won’t specify). She came on strong and intiated the contact, so I rolled with it and setup our date.

I was thinking the same thing (another guy in the picture - which isn’t the end of the world). I’ll keep seeing new women and hopefully just forget about her. Things just started off so fast (seeing one another 4 times in the span of 1 week, then total detachment - just has me puzzled). Would love to see her/date her/hookup again, but it seems beyond my control now, right?
 

Billtx49

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She came on strong and intiated the contact

So I rolled with it

but it seems beyond my control now, right?
Sounds like she controlled it from the start, middle, and the end. She was the pursuer and you never had control, other than choosing to be a willing participant…
Easy come, easy go
 
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"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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jaymbrs

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Yea this is prob over. Take it for what it was worth. A successful lay from OLD.
 
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