"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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The Mouth Is For Eating

taiyuu_otoko

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not for oral sex you freaks...

Uganda's President Wants to Ban Oral Sex, Says the "Mouth is for Eating"

Uganda's President Yoweri Museveni has issued what he calls a "public warning" against oral sex.

The president claims the practice has been pushed on Ugandans by "outsiders," and argues that the mouth is solely for eating.

"Let me take this opportunity to warn our people publicly about the wrong practices indulged in and promoted by some of the outsiders," he told the press during an address.

"One of them is what they call oral sex. The mouth is for eating, not for sex. We know the address of sex, we know where sex is," he continued.

According to the Daily Mail, back in 2014 Museveni stated that performing oral sex could cause people to get worms. "You push the mouth there, you can come back with worms and they enter your stomach because that is a wrong address," he is quoted as saying.

That same year he passed the "Anti-Homosexuality Act," which makes being gay illegal in Uganda, and makes it a criminal offense to not report someone for being gay.

Though it's sadly clear that Museveni is serious about his disapproval of oral sex, folks online have managed to find the humor in his comments.

 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Bible_Belt

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Sodomy is usually thought to be anal sex, but the actual definition is "unnatural sex act." So bl0wjobs are sodomy, too.
 

R.U.G.

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Sodomy is usually thought to be anal sex, but the actual definition is "unnatural sex act." So bl0wjobs are sodomy, too.
HEY. Those are G-d given rights. Damn to hell if some gov't is going to tell me where to put my protected member.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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zekko

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Sodomy is usually thought to be anal sex, but the actual definition is "unnatural sex act." So bl0wjobs are sodomy, too.
Who is to say that a bl0wjob is unnatural though? Seems natural that someone would try it at some point :)
 

speed dawg

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He's not wrong.
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Who Dares Win

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If he is the president I can imagine the average citizen there...that explains a lot.
 

Gimple

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In the book "Sperm Wars", the author claims oral sex has a practical purpose, which is for a lover to identify whether or not their partner is cheating. Apparently, the taste of a penis or vagina changes when people have sex; and it retains some of the scent and taste from the new partner for several days. So if it tastes differently than usual, a lover knows their partner is sleeping with someone else too. This may be partially unconscious.
 

sazc

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So are they banning smoking as well?
 

Rainman4707

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In the book "Sperm Wars", the author claims oral sex has a practical purpose, which is for a lover to identify whether or not their partner is cheating. Apparently, the taste of a penis or vagina changes when people have sex; and it retains some of the scent and taste from the new partner for several days. So if it tastes differently than usual, a lover knows their partner is sleeping with someone else too. This may be partially unconscious.
Yes, I read this too.
I still think it will be difficult to be sure she is cheating though, just because her puss tastes different.
 

Spaz

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In the book "Sperm Wars", the author claims oral sex has a practical purpose, which is for a lover to identify whether or not their partner is cheating. Apparently, the taste of a penis or vagina changes when people have sex; and it retains some of the scent and taste from the new partner for several days. So if it tastes differently than usual, a lover knows their partner is sleeping with someone else too. This may be partially unconscious.
I suspect this book must have been written by a woman.

Gullible men everywhere...
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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