The *No Contact* Challenge! ( Read this if you just got dumped)

[lizardking82]

Question after 18yrs high school sweet hearth requested a friends request on FB.. I have forgotten about her a long time ago she move on and had kids and is marry.. I moved on as well, it just caught me off guard so the question is should I accept or ignore friends request I have no feelings for this person at all since iam dealing with baby drama at the moment sh*ts just awkward lol..

Don't overthink it much. One step at a time. Accept the request and don't push it further. Soon enough you will understand if she wants sth or just wants to keep up with your life as she gets older. I think it is more probable the later is true.

 

[QuadDeuces]

I smashed a new girl last night and this morning, cute girl.
But it makes me think about my ex more, just wanted to text her, been feeling a little depressed.
How come that everytime I get with a new girl my first instinct is to contact my ex.
Witchcraft....

 

[lizardking82]

I smashed a new girl last night and this morning, cute girl.
But it makes me think about my ex more, just wanted to text her, been feeling a little depressed.
How come that everytime I get with a new girl my first instinct is to contact my ex.
Witchcraft....

How long has it been since your breakup? Maybe you should stop smashing girls altogether for the time being and just relax a bit. I don't think you've fully gone through the pain yet.

 

[soulforge]

Don't know what it is about weekends, but its the time when I usually miss her the most..

I have been banging other chicks, great sex.. but still not feeling that connection i had with her.

I don't understand why I feel like this, because logically i know a relationship with her could NEVER work..

I guess i need to ride out this storm I am feeling today!

 

[Carpathian]

Don't know what it is about weekends, but its the time when I usually miss her the most..

I have been banging other chicks, great sex.. but still not feeling that connection i had with her.

I don't understand why I feel like this, because logically i know a relationship with her could NEVER work..

I guess i need to ride out this storm I am feeling today!

We all know that feeling, hang in there bro. It's your rose tints coming into play and looking back at the good things and never the bad.

 

[soulforge]

We all know that feeling, hang in there bro. It's your rose tints coming into play and looking back at the good things and never the bad.

Yes Fam.. me and my ex had some amazing times.. and those memories keep flooding back, and the dreams do not help either.

But there are too many bad things there, that would make it impossible to be with her..

This is 3 months on extreme NC i have her blocked..

I must admit, this time apart from her, has helped me see things more clearly about her, also some things about myself that I will improve

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yes Fam.. me and my ex had some amazing times.. and those memories keep flooding back, and the dreams do not help either.

But there are too many bad things there, that would make it impossible to be with her..

This is 3 months on extreme NC i have her blocked..

I must admit, this time apart from her, has helped me see things more clearly about her, also some things about myself that I will improve

The thing about it is there are better women out there. Ones who will treat you a lot better and fvck you similarly or at a higher level. Plus a really good woman will spend her money on you.

 

[soulforge]

The thing about it is there are better women out there. Ones who will treat you a lot better and fvck you similarly or at a higher level. Plus a really good woman will spend her money on you.

I don't know man? This is something we say to each other on this board to comfort each other.. Chances of finding a good woman these days, is pretty low

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I don't know man? This is something we say to each other on this board to comfort each other.. Chances of finding a good woman these days, is pretty low

Good ones are usually out of sight. Or in a long term relationship.

 

[soulforge]

How many of you guys where disrespected by your ex or mistreated at some point?

Don't you wish you had walked away or dumped her sooner? You wouldn't be in this much pain right now..

Regrets.. I find regret is a difficult emotion to deal with.. I guess with time those feelings will somewhat disperse..

I suppose it is better late, than never!

 

[Roober]

Been doing a little risk assessment today, of the very unlikely event of the Ex and me getting back together..

I think this is partially why I feel extreme NC is the way forward for me..

THE POSITIVE

01. She is attractive, good sexual chemistry
02. She is career driven, good job, nice house, and car
03. We have things in common, interests, music etc
04. Her kids are grown, i don't want other mens little brats around me

THE NEGATIVE

01. She was a regular bar girl at the age of 50 (risky)

02. She was on several occasions rude and direspectful towards me

03. She dismissed my feelings several times

04. She doesn't seem to aknowledge or accept responsibility for her actions

05. We lived together for 3 months.. she moved back out as soon as things got a little tough

06. We can never live together again, as we are long distance (1 hour drive) and I would not risk moving towns to be with her.. plus she would never move back down to my town again

07. Marriage is out of the question

08. I don't trust her, to be a loyal partner in the long run

09. She has previously put her career before her relationship with me

10. She is immature, passive aggressive, and communication with her is not good

11. She dresses some what tarty like a young girl (attention *****)

As you can see, the negative vastly out weight the good with this woman.. I would recommend you guys make a list like this about your exe's.. it will help you logically think about how you might be better off without her.

I am using this list to encourage me to stay extreme NC, as going back to this mess, would be a complete head fuk

Guess what?

The positives are very generic and you can find with ANY woman
And the negatives will not be present with every woman

You get what I am saying here? If you really think about it, this woman was a mess and she doesn't deserve you. You are her are done for good. Your first statement is a bit alarming. Time to let go, and realize if she does come back, you tell her to go fvck herself

 

[soulforge]

Guess what?

The positives are very generic and you can find with ANY woman
And the negatives will not be present with every woman

You get what I am saying here? If you really think about it, this woman was a mess and she doesn't deserve you. You are her are done for good. Your first statement is a bit alarming. Time to let go, and realize if she does come back, you tell her to go fvck herself

I Hear you man.. I'm not claiming to be Mr Perfect here.. in any relationship we will make the odd mistake.. and we try to improve or adjust our behaviour, but when you are dealing with someone who just blames blames blames, you cannot win man..

Your point is valid, the postives are not enough to make a long term healthy relationship..

Liking the same movies or music, does not make for a successful relationship..

The very foundation of the relationship was wrong.. The negatives far out weight the good.

There is no going back to this relationship.. I do not trust this woman at all..

My one and only regret is that I didn't walk away for good, when I dumped her 3 months into the relationship.. I wouldn't have put myself through 15 more months of toxic crap..

And would not be feeling the way I am now..

Thanks bro, I will never allow her back in to my life..

She can take her 50 year old, dried up Vagina back into the bars she loved so much, to be pumped and dumped.

 

[Reboot2017]

Day 10 of NC. Up and down thus far. I went away for the long weekend to London. Had an excellent time dancing, approaching and just hanging out with chicks. Almost closed a pretty young thing but just did not escalate hard enough and logistics was hard. Found out later in the conversation, she had a boyfriend in Canada. She was literally texting him good night with kisses and seconds later starts grinding me. Sad state of affairs... Did not really do much good for the mood for some reason. Swearing off LTRs.

Still coming to grips that it is finally over and she is not contacting me anymore (never). At times, the desire to call her is crazy. But then again, I imagine what if she told me she already is going out with Chad (likely). Helps me put the phone down but does not make me feel any better. Ah well, on the plus side, shoulder has recovered. Time to hit the gym again. 50 days to go... Keep the faith guys.

 

[Roober]

Day 10 of NC. Up and down thus far. I went away for the long weekend to London. Had an excellent time dancing, approaching and just hanging out with chicks. Almost closed a pretty young thing but just did not escalate hard enough and logistics was hard. Found out later in the conversation, she had a boyfriend in Canada. She was literally texting him good night with kisses and seconds later starts grinding me. Sad state of affairs... Did not really do much good for the mood for some reason. Swearing off LTRs.

Still coming to grips that it is finally over and she is not contacting me anymore (never). At times, the desire to call her is crazy. But then again, I imagine what if she told me she already is going out with Chad (likely). Helps me put the phone down but does not make me feel any better. Ah well, on the plus side, shoulder has recovered. Time to hit the gym again. 50 days to go... Keep the faith guys.

Good stuff man! Keep it up. It definitely gets better as time passes. Keep yourself busy, go meet new people, and just enjoy life!

 

[QuadDeuces]

Broke NC after almost 3 months I sent the "Happy birthday, wish you the best, peace" text.
Feels better than I expected whether she responds or not.

Lets see if I still dont regret it tomorrow though.

 

[Reboot2017]

Good stuff man! Keep it up. It definitely gets better as time passes.

Only thing to keep in mind I guess.

Lets see if I still dont regret it tomorrow though.

I hope not dude... Regardless of how she response esp if she does not reply, I hope you remember it has nothing to with you.

 

[QuadDeuces]

I hope not dude... Regardless of how she response esp if she does not reply, I hope you remember it has nothing to with you.

Next day now, I feel good, peaceful, the war is over in my mind.
She didn't respond but she did read the message. I'm actually happy she didn't respond because it could have triggered a dialogue, which would inevaitably get nasty again.

The last time I spoke her, she told me in her Borderlinic devaluation rage that I was the worst piece of **** ever and I should **** off and die and then she blocked me, but unblocked me a month later but I kept NC.
Ever since she told me that, there had been a raging war in my mind, plotting ways to take revenge.
Today was the first day I woke up peaceful.

edit:
She just texted me back about how happy she was that I texted her and how sorry she was and she had been beating herself up about it.

Well that was surprising.

I had expected another Fvck you hope you die, response.

 

[soulforge]

Still going strong with NC have had her blocked in every way..

I really don't feel the need to unblock her, because there is no going back to the relationship..

Its LTR and no possibility of anything good coming out of it...

So keeping strong and seeing this through man, untill she is a distant memory..

I need to break this addiction to her!!

 

[Reboot2017]

Today was the first day I woke up peaceful.

Glad to hear that man... At least you can put it behind you and keep on going now.

So keeping strong and seeing this through man, untill she is a distant memory..

I need to break this addiction to her!!

Doing great dude. Keep to the grind. Cheers.

 

[Roober]

Still going strong with NC have had her blocked in every way..

I really don't feel the need to unblock her, because there is no going back to the relationship..

Its LTR and no possibility of anything good coming out of it...

So keeping strong and seeing this through man, untill she is a distant memory..

I need to break this addiction to her!!

That's it right there. We get addicted. Hence, the reasoning behind always having a backup chick. Good work man!