So I am alone with a girl and my head just runs through all the possibilities of sex and what not. How do I get out of my head and not feel so anxious during these moments. Whenever I feel like the vibe is getting closer and closer to something happening, I get more anxious. Probably because my personality type is that I normally think through almost everything I do in advance to executing the task. I'm someone that wants to know how things will turn out, but I guess sex is something where I can't map out all my moves. So please I'd like some advice. I was thinking about meditating more as a way to clear my mind.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
How do I get out of my head during pivot moments
- Thread starter AlphaNoob
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
daddymonsterpoodle
Master Don Juan
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Get to it.... Lose yourself in the sensation
Meditation might help. Didn't help me much.
Meditation might help. Didn't help me much.
icantgetlaid
Senior Don Juan
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Alcohol
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
I get you... I'm the same way.
Recently, I've had to keep reminding myself that things are not always as they seem. And, planning should have the flexibility to let things unfold naturally. Things change in unpredictable and unplanned ways.
Some things, are out of our hands/minds.
Roll with the punches!!!
Recently, I've had to keep reminding myself that things are not always as they seem. And, planning should have the flexibility to let things unfold naturally. Things change in unpredictable and unplanned ways.
Some things, are out of our hands/minds.
Roll with the punches!!!
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Yeah.
I could say: "take it all with a grain of salt". Or I could say: "Assume that any pvssy is extra pvssy" (Outcome independence in game parlance).
But what you really need is experience. It might sound ironic, but the easiest way to become less nervous is to simply fvck less intimidating girls first, and work your way up to the better looking ones.
Some might argue against this, claiming that fvcking subpar women is like convincing yourself that you're not worth the higher tier women, but I believe it can be worth it as long as you simply see them as a sacrifice, lol.
My friend and I always joke that it's good karma too, lol. If you fvck a subpar woman now. Who knows, maybe a higher tier woman will stroke her heart and give you a chance at that pvssy too, out of the goodness of her heart. xD
I could say: "take it all with a grain of salt". Or I could say: "Assume that any pvssy is extra pvssy" (Outcome independence in game parlance).
But what you really need is experience. It might sound ironic, but the easiest way to become less nervous is to simply fvck less intimidating girls first, and work your way up to the better looking ones.
Some might argue against this, claiming that fvcking subpar women is like convincing yourself that you're not worth the higher tier women, but I believe it can be worth it as long as you simply see them as a sacrifice, lol.
My friend and I always joke that it's good karma too, lol. If you fvck a subpar woman now. Who knows, maybe a higher tier woman will stroke her heart and give you a chance at that pvssy too, out of the goodness of her heart. xD
TheMonkeyKing
Master Don Juan
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In the moment have a whole bank of go-to stock questions to initiate small talk with. These obviously need to be pre-planned and replenished.
It's not the first time I have posted this, and it probably won't be the last. It simply says what we need to do, far better than I've ever heard or read before....
Litany against fear; from Dune, by Frank Herbert
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
This is quite apt; though I would personally revise. More generally, I have been practicing allowing stress and anxiety wash and pass over me when they arise. It means first acknowledging when it happens, but then realising that 99 times 100, you are in absolutely no inherent danger whatsoever.
It's not the first time I have posted this, and it probably won't be the last. It simply says what we need to do, far better than I've ever heard or read before....
Litany against fear; from Dune, by Frank Herbert
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
What is fear? It's anticipating what's going to come next........
Not what's happening NOW.....
You are close with mediation......mindfulness is about being in the moment......how many of your friends eye color are you
sure of? practice noticing people's eye color in every conversation...........
notice your friends' skin. their teeth. Their skin. Do they need dental work?
Now, really notice their use of language? strange expressions? lots of swearwords?
Notice their clothes.......do they match their personality?
Can you see how this practice brings you so much into the present and out of yourself?
As a byproduct you'll become so much more observant and interesting
Not what's happening NOW.....
You are close with mediation......mindfulness is about being in the moment......how many of your friends eye color are you
sure of? practice noticing people's eye color in every conversation...........
notice your friends' skin. their teeth. Their skin. Do they need dental work?
Now, really notice their use of language? strange expressions? lots of swearwords?
Notice their clothes.......do they match their personality?
Can you see how this practice brings you so much into the present and out of yourself?
As a byproduct you'll become so much more observant and interesting
This is what I needed. Thanks
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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- Jan 4, 2012
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- 7,175
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- 5,571
When you act, there is no time for thinking. When you think there is no time for action.
One way will get you laid and way won't. You know which way doesn't already, so focus on the way that does.