So I am alone with a girl and my head just runs through all the possibilities of sex and what not. How do I get out of my head and not feel so anxious during these moments. Whenever I feel like the vibe is getting closer and closer to something happening, I get more anxious. Probably because my personality type is that I normally think through almost everything I do in advance to executing the task. I'm someone that wants to know how things will turn out, but I guess sex is something where I can't map out all my moves. So please I'd like some advice. I was thinking about meditating more as a way to clear my mind.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
How do I get out of my head during pivot moments
- Thread starter AlphaNoob
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
daddymonsterpoodle
Master Don Juan
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Get to it.... Lose yourself in the sensation
Meditation might help. Didn't help me much.
Meditation might help. Didn't help me much.
icantgetlaid
Senior Don Juan
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Alcohol
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
I get you... I'm the same way.
Recently, I've had to keep reminding myself that things are not always as they seem. And, planning should have the flexibility to let things unfold naturally. Things change in unpredictable and unplanned ways.
Some things, are out of our hands/minds.
Roll with the punches!!!
Recently, I've had to keep reminding myself that things are not always as they seem. And, planning should have the flexibility to let things unfold naturally. Things change in unpredictable and unplanned ways.
Some things, are out of our hands/minds.
Roll with the punches!!!
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Yeah.
I could say: "take it all with a grain of salt". Or I could say: "Assume that any pvssy is extra pvssy" (Outcome independence in game parlance).
But what you really need is experience. It might sound ironic, but the easiest way to become less nervous is to simply fvck less intimidating girls first, and work your way up to the better looking ones.
Some might argue against this, claiming that fvcking subpar women is like convincing yourself that you're not worth the higher tier women, but I believe it can be worth it as long as you simply see them as a sacrifice, lol.
My friend and I always joke that it's good karma too, lol. If you fvck a subpar woman now. Who knows, maybe a higher tier woman will stroke her heart and give you a chance at that pvssy too, out of the goodness of her heart. xD
I could say: "take it all with a grain of salt". Or I could say: "Assume that any pvssy is extra pvssy" (Outcome independence in game parlance).
But what you really need is experience. It might sound ironic, but the easiest way to become less nervous is to simply fvck less intimidating girls first, and work your way up to the better looking ones.
Some might argue against this, claiming that fvcking subpar women is like convincing yourself that you're not worth the higher tier women, but I believe it can be worth it as long as you simply see them as a sacrifice, lol.
My friend and I always joke that it's good karma too, lol. If you fvck a subpar woman now. Who knows, maybe a higher tier woman will stroke her heart and give you a chance at that pvssy too, out of the goodness of her heart. xD
TheMonkeyKing
Master Don Juan
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- Apr 20, 2014
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- 1,419
In the moment have a whole bank of go-to stock questions to initiate small talk with. These obviously need to be pre-planned and replenished.
It's not the first time I have posted this, and it probably won't be the last. It simply says what we need to do, far better than I've ever heard or read before....
Litany against fear; from Dune, by Frank Herbert
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
This is quite apt; though I would personally revise. More generally, I have been practicing allowing stress and anxiety wash and pass over me when they arise. It means first acknowledging when it happens, but then realising that 99 times 100, you are in absolutely no inherent danger whatsoever.
It's not the first time I have posted this, and it probably won't be the last. It simply says what we need to do, far better than I've ever heard or read before....
Litany against fear; from Dune, by Frank Herbert
"I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
What is fear? It's anticipating what's going to come next........
Not what's happening NOW.....
You are close with mediation......mindfulness is about being in the moment......how many of your friends eye color are you
sure of? practice noticing people's eye color in every conversation...........
notice your friends' skin. their teeth. Their skin. Do they need dental work?
Now, really notice their use of language? strange expressions? lots of swearwords?
Notice their clothes.......do they match their personality?
Can you see how this practice brings you so much into the present and out of yourself?
As a byproduct you'll become so much more observant and interesting
Not what's happening NOW.....
You are close with mediation......mindfulness is about being in the moment......how many of your friends eye color are you
sure of? practice noticing people's eye color in every conversation...........
notice your friends' skin. their teeth. Their skin. Do they need dental work?
Now, really notice their use of language? strange expressions? lots of swearwords?
Notice their clothes.......do they match their personality?
Can you see how this practice brings you so much into the present and out of yourself?
As a byproduct you'll become so much more observant and interesting
This is what I needed. Thanks
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
marmel75
Master Don Juan
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When you act, there is no time for thinking. When you think there is no time for action.
One way will get you laid and way won't. You know which way doesn't already, so focus on the way that does.