What do you say not to look bad when they ask you

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I still don't completely understand the whole home because of school thing. Before you had to stay home because of child laws about leaving home without being emancipated. But once you came of age of being legal to work more than 20 hours a week you'd go to work in order to pay for school.

Nevermind, I answered my own question. Back then parents didn't pay for college and the kids had to either work to pay for school or were able to get a few scholarships.

 

[Stavrogin]

My parents aren't paying for my education, thanks.

 

[edger]

If you choose to live with someone else while using their resources that's fine. You accept that there are trade-offs like it was said earlier. But saying that you're self-sufficient doesn't cut it. It's like saying that a wife who chooses to stay home and be a mother is self-sufficient because she cooks dinner, cleans and manages the children. Sure, her management of the household has value in exchange for her husband's livelihood but can you can't say that she's self-sufficient?

If you're living with a parent or parents, and you are paying rent, and caring for yourself IN ALL ASPECTS, then you are self-sufficient. Now say, you're living with a parent or parents because you can't afford to live on your own, but throwing them a smaller portion of rent and other household money that you would normally pay more for had you been on your own, then obviously you couldn't say you're self-sufficient.

The reason why a lot of people aren't out on their own is because the price of rents, houses, and condos these days are through the roof, otherwise most of these people would be out on their own. Really, it's bad, especially here in NY. And the situation is only going to get worse. Years ago it wasn't like this. But times have unfortunately changed. And it's not like it's easy finding another job with higher pay. Don't forget guys, we live in a competitive job market. Finding a job that lets you be on your own(without a roomate) is not easy at all. This is Capitalism for ya.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

If you're living with a parent or parents, and you are paying rent, and caring for yourself IN ALL ASPECTS, then you are self-sufficient. Now say, you're living with a parent or parents because you can't afford to live on your own, but throwing them a smaller portion of rent and other household money that you would normally pay more for had you been on your own, then obviously you couldn't say you're self-sufficient.

The reason why a lot of people aren't out on their own is because the price of rents, houses, and condos these days are through the roof, otherwise most of these people would be out on their own. Really, it's pretty dam bad, especially here in NY. And the situation is only going to get worse. Years ago it wasn't like this. But times have unfortunately changed. But this is Capitalism for ya.

I don't know, I'm pretty sure that Capitalism existed when I was a kid and it didn't stop me, I actually took advantage of it. People made less, there weren't nearly the amount of "bubbles" for people to work or invest in either. Education may cost more nowadays but scholarships still exist and there are way more paying intern jobs available nowadays since the competition of businesses dictate securing workers at the lowest cost/benefit ratio. Yet today labor skills are easily achieved without having to finish an four or more of collegiate education prior to securing a job.

People today can grab a self study book or take an online class, become certified in something or other and get an entry level job in a few weeks as opposed to several years as it had been in the past. I'll tell you what, if I had the opportunity to be a 20-something now, I'd be making a ton of Capitalistic competition with all of the resources available today that weren't 20 years ago.

Yeah it's more expensive to live nowadays as compared to the past. When I was younger we didn't need a $50 dollar a month cell phone, $100 a month for cable television, $300-400 a month for a car and insurance and we didn't need to eat out at restaurants for the majority of our meals (I guess at least $200 a month). Hell, for the cost of those expenses alone we could get easily get a 2 or 3 bedroom flat. But now you can only get a one bedroom flat for $750 a month (without cable).

Yeah, it simpler to just let the folks foot the bill than having to get a job and speed a week's salary on just a place to live. The funny thing is that the secret is that it's going to still cost at least that much to live once you finish school anyway. Might as well just stay at home after graduation too. Just get a part time job at the Barns & Noble in order to buy your own beer and cigarettes and give the mom and dad enough to pay the electric bill each month.

 

[edger]

I forgot to add this in initially in the beginning of this thread, that if a chick asks you if you live by yourself, you can also say, if you're living with a parent or parents, in simple terms, "I'm renting from my parents, or mom, or dad".

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

My parents aren't paying for my education, thanks.

So you're working?

 

[Nighthawk]

Live with your parents if you want. But I'd like to hear from anyone that is that gets lots of women.

 

[Stavrogin]

So you're working?

No, I have a loan, which isn't enough for the rent around here.

 

[edger]

there are way more paying intern jobs available nowadays since the competition of businesses dictate securing workers at the lowest cost/benefit ratio.

I don't know what world you're living in, but in the world I live in, there's not many paid internships available. After I graduated college, it was impossible finding a paid internship, let alone an unpaid internship. Not to mention also that my university's field placement office did NOTHING to help me find a job or internship in my particular area of study, considering I dished out about 15 grand a year in college tuition to them for 4 yrs. I guess it all depends on your major too as far as available "paid" internships are concerned.

People today can grab a self study book or take an online class, become certified in something or other and get an entry level job in a few weeks as opposed to several years as it had been in the past.

Again, I don't know what world you're living in. You think it's that easy, eh? The easy part may be to grab a self-study book, take an online class, and become certified in something, but it sure isn't easy to find a decent job after you've gone through all of that.

When I was looking for a job before the one I have now, I sent out so many f*ckin' resumes, to so many f*ckin' companies, never to be called for an interview. It got to the point where I became mentally and physically burnt out from sending out resumes that I had to take a break from it. And my resume was relatively strong. I was assisted in devising it with my field placement office at my university.

A lot of these jobs out there want 1-3 yrs prior experience, and lots of people don't have the experience. So, the question to these companies then becomes, "well where do I get the experience then if you're not willing to give it to me?"

So, fact: it's an extremely competitive job market, decent jobs aren't easy to find.

 

[edger]

Live with your parents if you want. But I'd like to hear from anyone that is that gets lots of women.

You wanna hear? Here:

I agree with this. I was unemployed for a short period of time in 20s and I swear, I was getting laid back and forth.

That was his response to Persistant Exaction's post which is here:

It depends. it depends upon your "hotness" level. At your age, there are a plenty of women who will only care about your hotness. Until you can get more independent, work on your hotness level and your game, and you should do ok. Attraction is a chemical reaction. Women write letters to convicted serial killers. Kate Moss LUVS Pete Dougherty. Get the picture?

 

[Stavrogin]

I remember my college's "career" center - it was a room with a couple of computers with Monster.com as the home page.

After graduation, I couldn't believe - contrary to all the nonsense this society preaches to young people - how little employers cared that I had a college degree. Employers treated me like a criminal because I lacked job experience. I eventually ended up in a crummy job where I was the only one who had a degree.

I'm now back in school for obvious reasons - not least of which is that 99% of women won't go out with a guy who makes less than them. And I was probably making less than 99% of women. Ironically, grad school isn't much different. My career counselor had little advice to give other than that I should have a "positive attitude" and "network" with people. I can't believe there is still such a job as "career counselor."

At any rate, this has nothing to do with the original post, but I needed to get this off my chest.

 

[edger]

99% of women won't go out with a guy who makes less than them. And I was probably making less than 99% of women.

2 of my aunts, both attractive, dated my uncles who made less than them. My attractive mom left my dad(who makes good money), for a guy who made less than she did. In fact she suppports him. All he's done basically since they're together is live off his pension, while ocassionally working in carpentry. He no longer works now at all. He just lives off his pension. I can point out other couples, but can't think of them off the bat right now.

 

[edger]

I have relatively long hair. But I don't whine.

I do have facial hair too.

By the way, a quick history lesson, do you know why long hair on guys has been associated with femininity? Because ONLY for the last 150 yrs or so, "short hair" has remained the trend for men. Prior to that, most men througout history grew their hair long, with the exception of the Romans and Egyptians. So since today "long hair" is mainly seen on women and not many men, it has come to be associated with a woman's physique. In other words, since you are so used to seeing mainly only women having long hair your whole life, you think guys who have it look like girls.

Long hair on men has also always been asociated with Warriorism throughout history.

 

[Latinoman]

You're not the decision making authority when you rent an actual apartment either. Your Landlord is. So, based on what you're saying, you might as well criticize those renting actual apartments as well.

Actually you are. You can decide to NOT pay the rent. And the consequences of that decision will impact you GREATLY as you will

1- Get kicked out
2- Damage your credit report (impacting you for years)

It is about the legal document called...lease.

But why I am even debating with you? You are still a child.

 

[Latinoman]

I am in my 30's and I live with my mother.

My mother had a debilitating stroke last year. I sold my condo and used the profits to cover her medical expenses, as she had no insurance. (I also got out of the housing market at a very good time :cheer: )

I now live at her house, which is in a very nice suburb. I take care of her a couple of nights a week, I've made arrangements to have her put on my insurance this year, and we have a nurse for her on nights when I go out. I have not met a girl yet who doesn't understand this and isn't completely obliging about going to her place, instead. Yes, being home with mother a few nights a week is cutting into my dating. I don't care.

Point being, there are lots of reasons to live at home. I wouldn't want to be involved with a girl who wouldn't understand my situation.

Extreme situation and completely different situation. By all effects...she is "living with you" and not the other way around. As she could have moved in with you, but it made more sense that you moved in to take care of her. HUGE difference here.

 

[Latinoman]

I never said self-sufficiency was a bad thing, where are you getting that?? Have you been reading this thread? I'm all for self-sufficiency, that's why I said if you live at home with a parent(s), you should be contributing financially and in other ways. That is "self-sufficiency". Just because the pad isn't under your name, doesn't mean you're not self-sufficient.

You are a child.

How can you be self-sufficient when you are not even the DECISION MAKING AUTHORITY in the place you live??? It is your mom and your dad...not you.

 

[Latinoman]

Self sufficiency (independence) is what Latinoman was talking about:


You said that he was "wrong. His stance/mentality is disturbing."

Think of it like this, if you take away any aspect of your livelihood which you are not sustaining by yourself, can you honestly say that you are self-sufficient?

self-sufficient
1 : able to maintain oneself or itself without outside aid : capable of providing for one's own needs <a self–sufficient farm>

From www.webster.com

​

If you choose to live with someone else while using their resources that's fine. You accept that there are trade-offs like it was said earlier. But saying that you're self-sufficient doesn't cut it. It's like saying that a wife who chooses to stay home and be a mother is self-sufficient because she cooks dinner, cleans and manages the children. Sure, her management of the household has value in exchange for her husband's livelihood but can you can't say that she's self-sufficient?

Blame Latinoman and myself for being old school but back in the day you weren't considered a man just because you had a drivers license or was of legal age to drink, you had to live on your own while paying your own way. People have surely changed.

EXACTLY.

And do you know what? When it comes to evaluating men...women are also "old school". In the sense that women might be more progressive when it comes to women in today's society...but they still have an "old school" mentallity when it comes to choosing a mate. They prefer a man that can provide...is idependent...and can protect. I don't think that will ever change.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

No, I have a loan, which isn't enough for the rent around here.

Well, I still give you a for at least paying for your own education. It's not quite self-sufficient but I bet it makes your parents proud. A lot of parents are using up their retirement accounts in order to pay for their kids education. I'm curious what the kids will do once their parents are of retirement age but have no money to sustain themselves.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...So, fact: it's an extremely competitive job market, decent jobs aren't easy to find.

See, that's where kids screw up. They believe that just because they went to college they deserve a "decent" job when they have no work experience what so ever.

Many of my colleagues and myself readily hire part time interns at above minimum wage to work for us. I've even hired kids who have only worked in fast food or retail because of their customer service experience. I've also turned people who had MS degrees because they had the interpersonal skills of Tasmanian devil and no work experience what so ever. Hell, at least I can tell that the kids from McDonald's can interview well and hold a job for an extended period of time.

The world that I live in people are held high by their past experiences. Those who have only been students all of their lives hold less merit than those who are more well rounded.

 

[reset]

I'm curious what the kids will do once their parents are of retirement age but have no money to sustain themselves.

That's what bothers me. My Dad is 74, and in great shape and everything. But he just retired. For awhile he was working part time, but he got sick of it and everything. He says without me, he's shy $500 a month. I asked him if he'd be ok if I moved out.

He says he understands and he wants me to be on my own and not to worry about him. That he's been taking care of himself his whole life. But where the hell is he going to get $500 a month?

This bothers me. I still have to move out but I worry what's going to happen to him. He's too young for the old folks home. He's in better shape than I am.

Is this even my responsibility right now?

As far as money, I don't live in NY but I live in a similarly expensive area. Small studios are around $1,000 a month. I thought about this last night that I should budget. I almost don't mind living on hot dogs and water, but I want to have some money saved every month as well. I just got out of credit card debt so I'm enjoying that extra $400 a month I was throwing towards the credit cards.

I have cut back on spending, I'll continue to.