What do you say not to look bad when they ask you

[Mr.Positive]

Crappy or not, your life gets a hell of a lot easier when you're on your own..

I wouldn't necessarily say life gets easier, but definitely more rewarding.

I can relate to both sides of the fence here. Several years ago I went through a career transition, and sold my home, relocated, and moved back in with my parents. It was a temporary thing for me, but I won't lie, it did affect my confidence...tremendously...

Pretty much to the point of taking myself "off the market", not dating at all, and focusing on gaining my independence again. I felt just like what Latinoman's point is, that I was not 'worthy' of a quality woman.

Two things came out of this. I had a huge burning desire to get on my own..and I achieved that, thus bettering my situation and I am much more happy now. I achieved my goal that much faster by just focusing on myself, and improving my situation.

The downside was that I actually did meet a couple of women, that I could have dated, but my confidence was so low that I just didn't bother.

So, my point is that if you are in a temporary position, there's nothing wrong with that, as long as you are actively trying to improve it...taking steps in the right direction.

I also learned that I will never let anything affect my confidence again. That's extremely important, actually the most important point of this whole thread, IMO.

It's really whether you want to live your life on your own terms, or you want to live to impress others.

I say forge your own path, and by doing so, you will have what 99% of the population doesn't have...true inner confidence and a self understanding that is worth more than any possession you could physically own. (I'm still working on this one though, but getting there..)

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

I wouldn't necessarily say life gets easier, but definitely more rewarding.

Yeah, maybe not easier in the grand scheme of things but definitely more rewarding because you aren't living under the constraints of others. It can mean the difference between living and just existing.

 

[edger]

Edger...the same guy that says Spitzer's wife is "hot" and that old women (over 40) are the type he search because young women (in their 20s) want nothing to do with him.

What woman in her right place wants to date a man that has hair this long (and dress as such) and lives with dad and mom?

Especially when he is 28 year old and lives in NY City! (one of the top 3 cities in the U.S. in which the ratio of adult SINGLE women is CONSIDERABLY higher than adult SINGLE male).

Latinoman, you really like to twist things around and put words in people's mouth. I've been saying for the last several months now, it's been JUST AS much of a challenge to bag older women(40's) as it as been to bag younger women(20's) for me. Write it down 100x.

Second, actually my hair's longer than that, about mid-back. And I don't have a beard. Hence I look nothing like that guy you posted a pic of. I've already posted a pic of what I look like, but you once again twisted that around as well to fit your mold.

Homeboy, here's a (((newsflash))) for ya.. I see a lot of guys with my style(longhaired Metal guys) with some fine women in NYC. Where do I see it? At metal shows, the rock/metal/goth clubs, etc. Dare you check it out one day.

And fourthly, where have I said I live with my parents? Browse this entire thread, show me where I've said "I" live with a parent(s). I absolutely DEFEND living with parents so long as you contribute to the household financially and in other ways, but because of that, it doesn't mean I LIVE with a parent(s). Wow.

 

[reset]

He's right though. Being independent increases your opportunities exponentially. Crappy or not, your life gets a hell of a lot easier when you're on your own. Yeah, you have to pay for your lifestyle yourself instead of relying on others but that's the cost of freedom.

I want to be independent. I'm working towards it.

I'm not going to walk around and think about how bad it is that I don't have a pad of my own RIGHT NOW. It's like the work I'm doing now counts for shyt just because I don't live alone. Might as well be a looks thread then.

There are AFCs that live on their own and DJs in training who are in the process of moving forward. I'm going to stop beating myself up because I'm not "living up to" someone else's standards.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

That's exactly the point I am trying to make. I don't know how to sugar coat it any better. I have to be honest with my opinion.

Ummm, "sugar coat?" What the hell does that mean?

 

[reset]

That's exactly the point I am trying to make. I don't know how to sugar coat it any better. I have to be honest with my opinion.

I don't need your sugar-coating. But suggesting I will get your leftovers is insulting and builds up your ego while trying to break mine down.

 

[Mr.Positive]

It can mean the difference between living and just existing.

Exactly! This is where some honest self-analysis comes in. Any guy that's not happy with his current situation, you have the power to change it! Don't just "exist" and find reasons to sit there justifying it. Take action.

We all have different goals and things we want to achieve in this life. Finding out what those personal goals are, can be the tough thing to do.

However, I really feel the essense of manhood comes from independence, taking action, challenge, and just being free on this earth. There's too many mountains to climb, oceans to sail upon, and countries to explore...and hot babes to spent time with.

 

[reset]

Stuff like this makes me feel even worse about my living situation. Every day I have to see my dad right when I wake up infuriates me. And I love my Dad he's an amazing person.

But instead of thinking "yeah, fine. I'm going to get out of here as soon as my income goes up, I'm getting excited to do this" I read stuff like this and it makes me feel like crap all over again.

Which is obviously my own perception and choice.

 

[reset]

Yeah, you have to pay for your lifestyle yourself instead of relying on others but that's the cost of freedom.

The only thing I don't pay for is expensive rent. I pay rent. I pay my way. No one buys me shyt.

 

[Latinoman]

Ummm, "sugar coat?" What the hell does that mean?

I might have spell it incorrectly (English being my second language). "Sugar coat" is like softening the blow or the truth so it does not hurt.

 

[Latinoman]

I felt just like what Latinoman's point is, that I was not 'worthy' of a quality woman.

I believe you guys are worthy of a quality woman. However, a quality woman has choices too...the point I am trying to make that who would she prefer?

 

[Mr.Positive]

Stuff like this makes me feel even worse about my living situation. Every day I have to see my dad right when I wake up infuriates me. And I love my Dad he's an amazing person.

But instead of thinking "yeah, fine. I'm going to get out of here as soon as my income goes up, I'm getting excited to do this" I read stuff like this and it makes me feel like crap all over again.

Which is obviously my own perception and choice.

Reset, you don't need to prove anything to anyone, but yourself. Just don't justify not taking the steps to improve your situation, because it's really easy to do. The easy way out, is to focus on what other's think.

The hard thing is realizing that you can do what ever you want, and don't give two sh!ts to what anyone else thinks. It's your life. Own it.

 

[reset]

I like Mr. Positive's post on this.

I'm not blind. I know there is a difference between being on your own and not. I have let certain beliefs affect me. This is one of them. And I see no more point in feeling un-worthy of women for something like where I live. I'm in a transition. That should be enough.

At least for me it should be enough. I don't know why I'm even arguing this. Hits a nerve.

 

[reset]

Reset, you don't need to prove anything to anyone, but yourself. Just don't justify not taking the steps to improve your situation, because it's really easy to do. The easy way out, is to focus on what other's think.

The hard thing is realizing that you can do what ever you want, and don't give two sh!ts to what anyone else thinks. It's your life. Own it.

Thanks. I need to get more excited about my growing independence.

 

[Mr.Positive]

I believe you guys are worthy of a quality woman. However, a quality woman has choices too...the point I am trying to make that who would she prefer?

I agree with you Latinoman, that's just how I felt at the time. I would have rather had a stronger inner game at the time, yet I was too focused on what others thought about me, and my situation.

However, we all have different definitions of a quality woman though too.

 

[edger]

Can you still get laid? Of course. You will have the leftovers that men like me and others leave behind. It goes without saying.

Unless you are 22 or college age kid.

You are such a joke, really. "You will have the leftovers that men like me and others leave behind". That is some funny sh*t right there. Praise yourself a little more Mr. GQ, DJ Lationman, hah. Most of all, prove it. Do you realize coming to this board and babbling about your life and how you get tons of chix at your whim, is lame? It's one thing to mention it once, twice, but you overtly do it. The guy gets off on bragging about how his ex-wife STILL wants him back after all these yrs. Hah. Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?

 

[Latinoman]

You are such a joke, really. "You will have the leftovers that men like me and others leave behind". That is some funny sh*t right there. Praise yourself a little more Mr. GQ, DJ Lationman, hah. Most of all, prove it. Do you realize coming to this board and babbling about your life and how you get tons of chix at your whim, is lame? It's one thing to mention it once, twice, but you overtly do it. The guy gets off on bragging about how his ex-wife STILL wants him back after all these yrs. Hah. Do you realize how ridiculous you sound?

Don't get offended if at 28...and self-proclaimed good looking...you still cannot get laid in a city such as NY City in which the amount of single available women is CONSIDERABLY higher than single available men.

 

[edger]

I don't need your sugar-coating. But suggesting I will get your leftovers is insulting and builds up your ego while trying to break mine down.

And you still like a person like that? So be it.

One thing that I've noticed about the guy is that he's very catty and condescending. Like I said, I'm sure someone who is weak-minded reading his posts probably feels like slitting their wrists. This is a forum to HELP, not condescend. Latinoman is unhealthy to the board.

 

[Latinoman]

I like Mr. Positive's post on this.

.

I do too.

And you don't have to feel offended or whatever. You do WHATEVER makes you happy.

 

[Latinoman]

And you still like a person like that? So be it.

One thing that I've noticed about the guy is that he's very catty and condescending. Like I said, I'm sure someone who is weak-minded reading his posts probably feels like slitting their wrists. This is a forum to HELP our fellow men, not condescend. Latinoman is unhealthy to the board.

Quit whinning...or get a haircut.

If you keep both - we might think you are a woman.