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What do you say not to look bad when they ask you

edger

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Latinoman said:
Would you blame a woman for picking a guy that is INDEPENDENT over a guy that is DEPENDENT?
It depends on the circumstance. If the guy was striving for independence, but not there yet, and she picked the independent guy, then yes, she is to blame. If the guy ISN'T striving for independence, and she picks an independent guy over him, then no, she isn't to blame. But again, mine and your definition of "independence", seem to have a different meaning. My definition of independence is a person who pays his/her own way through life without the help of an outside party. And that can be a man or woman who lives with a parent(s).
 

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I agree edger. I'm already figuring this out. At some point, there will be a little better paycheck and I should be able to pull it off. But until then, I'm not going to walk around feeling I'm inferior just because other guys may be moved out and I haven't yet.

There are AFCs who have zero game, no self-esteem, and have their own pads. And there are guys like me who are kind of getting the hang of life, but at this exact moment in time, not in my own pad. So what. Who cares.

I'm tired of choosing to feel a certain way about myself based on what others may or may not think, about me. I work hard at a job I am good at, I make money, I pay bills. I'm on the way up. If a chick couldn't see that, but only saw my living situation RIGHT NOW and that was all she cared about, then fair enough. CLEARLY someone like that and I wouldn't be a good fit ANYWAY, so that's that.
 

edger

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Latinoman said:
I'm low...I don't care.
And I'm not in the least bit surprised you don't care.

Latinoman said:
I still get laid.
I'd much rather not get laid that often, than be a lowlife.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Latinoman said:
I did not mean left overs from the perspective of she was with a man and he phucked her (and they are not longer together) and now she a left over.

What I mean is that she is what's left after we pick from the pack. For instance...group of ten women...we choose 7 of them...the other 3 are left ("left overs") because they have something we find undersireable (not necessary "hotness" as also we might disqualify women based on their behavior or past life). That's what I meant with left-over.
I knew what you meant. It's just fun to watch the guys bounce off the walls believing that all they were worth were sloppy seconds. :p
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Latinoman said:
...
What do you define as a "good catch"? Because I have bad news for you...women definition of "good catch" is not the same as ours.
That's what escapes a lot of guys realization.
reset said:
Good catch would be a guy moving up in the world.
The better catch is the guy who is willing to let her ride his coattails. ;)
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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edger said:
A good catch is a guy who is down-to-earth and humble(don't confuse that with AFCism), and doesn't mooch off other people out of laziness.
I'm all for not mooching but if a guy (or girl for that matter) is good at what they do, they don't have to be humble. I'd actually prefer to hear about how well they've done whatever as long as it's not the only thing they are well versed about. If they do well at something they're passionate about why they share their excitement with their freinds (unless their friends get jealous easily I guess). There's a lot of room between being humble and being narcistic.
 

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This is something that bothers a lot of people. Could be part of matrix stuff, believing that you are only as good as your status, or how handsome you are. I think this fits in that category. Better to deal with it, "bounce off the walls" and see if it really is the big monster you choose to make it to be, and reject it.

This has been a good discussion for me personally. It's gotten me to get more focused, I know I can pull this off in the near future. As far as the thing with leftovers, whatever the "facts" may be of how women may or may not perceive your living status... I don't think you can be a DJ in training and take stuff like that to heart. The way you feel about yourself has to come from within. I choose to not feel I am somehow inferior anymore because of this topic, whereas before I let it affect my self-worth.
 

Latinoman

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edger said:
And I'm not in the least bit surprised you don't care.
Why should I care? It is NOT my life.



I'd much rather not get laid that often, than be a lowlife.
I rather being called "lowlife" and encourage men to strive for independence...than be called "classy" and discourage men from striving for independence.
 

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edger said:
It depends on the circumstance. If the guy was striving for independence, but not there yet, and she picked the independent guy, then yes, she is to blame.
No...she is NOT. She is picking to TOP guy in her eyes. She is picking the "good catch".

My definition of independence is a person who pays his/her own way through life without the help of an outside party. And that can be a man or woman who lives with a parent(s).
You cannot be independent if your parents still making the top decisions in the household.
 

edger

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
It's just fun to watch the guys bounce off the walls believing that all they were worth were sloppy seconds. :p[/SIZE][/SIZE]
Believed him? First off, I'm not even in a situation where I live with a parent(s). And second, I called him a "joke" after making that statement.

You're a genuine sick person if you get a rise out of someone elses anguish.

I used to think you were a good guy Francisco, but this thread has proved me otherwise.
 

edger

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
I'm all for not mooching but if a guy (or girl for that matter) is good at what they do, they don't have to be humble.
It's amazing and really scary how warped and twisted some minds are, and where people's priorities in this world lie. Go through life being a scumbag piece of sh*t, and get rewarded for it. Go through life being a cool, genuine, down-to-earth, humble human being, and be pissed on for it. Sick. And again, don't confuse "humble", "down-to-earth", and "genuine" with AFCism.
 

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I didn't read it as Francisco getting off on my pain. At least I don't think so. That would suck.
 

edger

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Latinoman said:
You cannot be independent if your parents still making the top decisions in the household.
Yes, you're parent(s) is/are making the top decisions, but what you're arguing is very, very trivial; it doesn't even belong. The big issue here, is that a person takes complete care of his/herself financially and in other ways without the help of an outside party. That is the most important thing.
 

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edger said:
Yes, you're parent(s) is/are making the top decisions, but what you're arguing is very, very trivial; it doesn't even belong. The big issue here, is that a person takes complete care of his/herself financially and in other ways without the help of an outside party. That is the most important thing.
Trivial? As a man that has made ALL his decisions and have been independent for two decades...I can tell you there is NOTHING trivial about that.
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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reset said:
I didn't read it as Francisco getting off on my pain. At least I don't think so. That would suck.
Psssttt... Edger is on a rant about some personal demons or other, no need to get caught up in it.
 

edger

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Francisco d'Anconia said:
Psssttt... Edger is on a rant about some personal demons or other, no need to get caught up in it.
It's all about interpretation. When I initially read it, I interpreted it as such that you thought someone's anguish was funny..but after re-reading it a second time, I see how it can be harmless as well. No hard feelings.
 
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