GtarPlayr73 said:
...I have struggled to find a way to depict myself in such relatable terms. Perhaps focus on activities that i can share with a woman? The thing is that i am an intellectual and cosmopolitan. I'm not very action-oriented.
So are you saying that you just exist in a vacuum? You say that you're 'cosmopolitan,' PROVE IT! Where do you go, what do you do? Plays? Art or museum exhibits? You've gotta do something! Talk about the latest 'cosmopolitan' things you've done, you may get lucky and a woman who had attended the same event may reply.
GtarPlayr73 said:
...
My free time consists of reading, writing an extensive journal (thoughts, philosophy, observations) smoking fine cigars, watching movies, watching documentaries, playing guitar and bass, recording music, drawing and painting (mainly digitally - Corel Painter), working out, dining out, spending time at cafes and bookstores.
Who's your favorite writer, philosopher? Why? What's your favorite quote? Why? What type of music do you play? Who your favorite musician? Why? Where do you go to work out and your favorite restaurant? Why? In what aisle would a woman normally find you in a bookstore? Why? Do you see a pattern here?
GtarPlayr73 said:
...I don't do bars and clubs. Just too loud and crowded for me. Quiet lounges and pubs are fine. I don't do "outdoors" stuff like sports, camping, hiking, kayaking, etc. My outdoors activities are mainly limited to walks and roadtrips - both of which are great work well with women.
Well, you've definitely identified the things that you
shouldn't write about, now onto the good stuff...
GtarPlayr73 said:
...
So for dating, I've got: movies, theater, cafes, dining out, watching stuff at home, cooking, local travel, and talking. Intelligent convo on a wide variety of topics is CRUCIAL for me.
PROVE IT!!! Give some examples!!!!
GtarPlayr73 said:
...i really want to travel the world and i figure if i meet a woman who shares the same intense desire and KNOWS a lot about other cultures, then she's really ahead of the rest on that one point alone.
What should she know about other cultures? What countries would you have a common interest in? Let them know how you feel about people who travel often.
GtarPlayr73 said:
...
What about describing my personality? I didn't do that in the first draft. I'm pretty serious (read: thoughtful and reflective), but can be witty and bubbly when the chemistry is right. Guess i'll mention that.
Ummmm, by this point it should be readily apparent from your profile, should you
really need to mention it?
GtarPlayr73 said:
...
I'm also enthusiastic about matters that interest me. I'm observant and perceptive.
About what? Tell the women out there something that would be an interesting topic of conversation when you meet.
GtarPlayr73 said:
... I love the sensitivity and passion of playing guitar and bass and the craft of recording. I'll mention that.
Leave something for subsequent dates. You'll have something to actually
show that will set you aside from the typical guy on the Net.
GtarPlayr73 said:
...
Any way to promote my introversion? I don't want to attract extroverts who will end up being incompatible with my lifestyle. Past relationships have taught me that.
Ummm, this is where
you need to do some work and qualify the women who contact you. Guess what, guy's can reject women they aren't compatible with. Women don't have to have all of the fun.
GtarPlayr73 said:
...
Well, i think i'm already getting a good idea now of what the re-write should be. Perhaps, i should start off with maybe one or two sentences on abstractions such as wonder and exploring this world (or maybe that's just so much cheese and doesn't accomplish anything), then describe my personality as in the above para. Then list activities i enjoy and want to share. Then describe what i'm looking for in a woman, OR i could just say "if this sounds like a good time for you, then..." or "if this resonates with you" or something like that.
Pffffftttttttt..... Way too pompous and cliche when it's put into words. Paint a vivid picture with your words and back it up with your actions when you meet.
GtarPlayr73 said:
...
One last thing: photos. Being introverted, i just don't have a lot of pics of me with other people and i know how important this is for conveying social proof. All the pics i have of me with others are from years ago. I have a ton of decent self-taken photos, but they're all obvious "web cam" shots.
Don't let that introversion thing be your scapegoat. So you only have photos of you at home, BFD. I would retake them with a real digital camera instead of a webcam. Those grainy photos give few people justice with still shots. And if you think the lighting isn't good then more than likely it isn't. Do it up right with a clear photo.
GtarPlayr73 said:
... . My sis (who lives 5 hours away) took some high quality outdoor shots, but they looked posed and my hair was less than ideal. So my plan is to post one good head shot and then post some pics of friends and family and some paintings i did...
Post a head shot and a few full body shots. Have one playing your guitar or out at an event. Hold off on the photo's of your paintings. You don't want to come off as a possible emo. Leave it for the woman (or women) you deem special enough to let into that particular place in your life.