Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Those things usually lead to fun conversations where you can cold read them, do palmistry, etc. Might sound kinda corny to us guys, but chicks do eat that sh1t like candy.
G [/B]
i didnt tell him anything to say because it has to come natural. i want him to become good at natural conversations, so he can think of what to say for himself, based on the situation. thats the best way to go about it. and if he still needs something to say, i referred him to this site, so..... search for talking points and number closes and such.Originally posted by Gonzalo
^ agree, the brother needs to get out and practice, but he is also asking WHAT to say. C'mon, if he has zero material right now, you can't expect him to talk about the weather with 50 strangers and not want to shoot himself huh?
G
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I get what you're saying, but also realize that things "come natural" at very different rates for very different people. When we learn new things, of course the idea is for them to come natural, which eventually comes with practice. That doesn't mean, however, that we contain all the answers within us: some posts here and asf, to name just two resources, are great for getting guys started with some canned stuff/drills. The idea is not to use five or six lines for the rest of your life, but to use them in the field until you catch the dynamic and can come up with your own stuff, whatever you might want it to be.Originally posted by Ace of Flames
i didnt tell him anything to say because it has to come natural. i want him to become good at natural conversations, so he can think of what to say for himself, based on the situation. thats the best way to go about it. and if he still needs something to say, i referred him to this site, so..... search for talking points and number closes and such.