You're the one for me....fatty

[Reykhel]

LOL. I think if he concludes it is not acceptable behavior and like you said, it's a physical manifestation in how much he thinks about himself he will do better.

It's irrelevant my good man.

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

There are two types of motivation.

There is people who a driven by an inner force, a motivation to own the world. They are PURSUING something.

And there is the second type (mine), which can be even stronger but happens sporadically. They are motivated by pain. When pain is unbearable, they will do everything to get AWAY from it. It can be an incredibly strong motivation and life changing.

It's sad, but as everyone said, your brother will need to experience extreme pain to finally find the motivation to get away from it.

We have all been there, that's why the majority of us is here. But this pain can be extremely beneficial if used properly. Just be there for him at that point to show him the light.

Sometimes they won't feel the pain but do an even tighter "death spiral" if they are abusing alcohol or weed for example. But yes that pain is very motivating to do something about it.

 

[Lozboss]

Old thread but there is nothing more saddening to see someone close to you who is still plugged in.

Sadly it is often only during trauma that we can unplug the AFCs. It is only in this raw state that they will finally open their eyes.

 

[Reykhel]

Old thread but there is nothing more saddening to see someone close to you who is still plugged in.

Sadly it is often only during trauma that we can unplug the AFCs. It is only in this raw state that they will finally open their eyes.

Yes, true.

And that's the point of giving the update.....the conclusion.

The conclusion was that I was being codependent.

 

[Lozboss]

The conclusion was that I was being codependent.

I don't agree. The dude is your brother- you care for him and want the best for him.

I wish I had a brother who cared as much.

That's different to co-dependence.

 

[Almax]

Maybe he likes to be mistreated, its not that rare nowadays.

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Lmao Reykhel, your conclusion was ignored. But yes, I agree with you, only when people is ready to accept a new knowledge will they listen, and they will seek it on their own. We should just do our things, letting people know what we think but without trying to change them; this way, if they need/want help or advice on redpill stuff, they will know they can ask, but as always, they have to ask first.

Also, that is why some people here make the same mistakes again and again, they are not ready to accept what this forum has to offer; sure, they want the results, but the acceptance of hard truths is too much for them to deal with right now.

 

[Yewki]

fatty will dump him for the next guy that has front row seats to the buffet....

Maybe. Or, the whale will continue to cling to his brother like a leech because she knows she can't do better, then they get married and have kids. Game over. But as the OP said, oh well it's his life. Let em f*ck it up. Just try to enjoy the show.

 

[Reykhel]

Maybe. Or, the whale will continue to cling to his brother like a leech because she knows she can't do better, then they get married and have kids. Game over. But as the OP said, oh well it's his life. Let em f*ck it up. Just try to enjoy the show.

The one consolation is that he is anti-marriage and fvcking hates kids.

 

[zinc4]

Geez.....poor guy. I wonder if anyone can truly be happy settling. I know that I can't.

 

[Reykhel]

Geez.....poor guy. I wonder if anyone can truly be happy settling. I know that I can't.

My sentiments exactly compadre..

 

[Reykhel]

It's true @Lozboss that emotional trauma at the hands of a woman is the only true way to snap out of AFCness

It's how I snapped out of mine

I find that the hardest thing to do is change someone's mind

People 'see the light' and change their ways when they see the way those close to them live their lives

Interesting theory.

In reality, it's quite naive and wishful thinking.

With that logic all addicts would stop being addicts if those close to them were not users.....

Anyway, I'll state again, the point of the update...

Not my circus, not my monkeys.

 

[Asmodeus]

If he chooses mediocrity for himself then that is all he deserves. If he does not strive for something better then he will never get it. You cannot help him, he can only help himself.
I believe I can deduce his problem... He has no self-esteem, he must have lost it over a series of personal cataclysms. Thus, he feels that his own self is worthless and thus he only deserves the undeserving company of that revolting woman. Hmmmm... I wonder if you can enhance his self-esteem, get a few attractive women friends of yours to help you out and hit on him to make him think he is better than that. If he gets positive reinforcement from women it would be evidence to him that he settled. Therefore, he will look at that whale and wonder if he can do better which may be the spark that can ignite a flame. It is not about convincing... Convincing rarely works on people. It is about being subtle, and planting the seed of a notion in his mind, make him wonder if he is better and if he can do better.

 

[Reykhel]

If he chooses mediocrity for himself then that is all he deserves. If he does not strive for something better then he will never get it. You cannot help him, he can only help himself.
I believe I can deduce his problem... He has no self-esteem, he must have lost it over a series of personal cataclysms. Thus, he feels that his own self is worthless and thus he only deserves the undeserving company of that revolting woman. Hmmmm... I wonder if you can enhance his self-esteem, get a few attractive women friends of yours to help you out and hit on him to make him think he is better than that. If he gets positive reinforcement from women it would be evidence to him that he settled. Therefore, he will look at that whale and wonder if he can do better which may be the spark that can ignite a flame. It is not about convincing... Convincing rarely works on people. It is about being subtle, and planting the seed of a notion in his mind, make him wonder if he is better and if he can do better.

Obviously you've read the opening post and hurriedly jumped to give your premature assessment. This is an old thread and I updated simply to give a conclusion. In fact, the conclusion is more about what I have learned from the situation. Feel free to comment on the conclusion on the thread but I feel it's pointless to further assess the initial opening post when it's been done previously AND concluded.

However, I will make a comment about your post. It comes across as quite judgmental. From reading some of your posts you seem to lack depth as a person. You have the ability to answer on a intellectual surface level. If I were to hedge a bet I would say you're lacking something on an inner level. One can only gloss over the surface for so long...

Also, going by your "advice", either you lack reading comprehension skills or it demonstrates you were all too eager and overexcited to caste your "assessment". It might be worth looking into.

I thank you for your effort all the same.

 

[Reykhel]

@CuddleJunkie

English is not your native language, yet you demonstrate a superior comprehension
level to a lot of natives. I salute you.

Thank you all for your contribution.

THREAD///////

 

[Yewki]

Also, going by your "advice", either you lack reading comprehension skills or it demonstrates you were all too eager and overexcited to caste your "assessment". It might be worth looking into.

Well that's pretty rude

 

[Reykhel]

Well that's pretty rude

That's your perception.

I also thanked him, I wonder did you find that "rude" or "polite".....

But go on, I'll bite....tell me how I should have responded. Maybe I'll try it
your way. Maybe I'll adopt your value system. I'm open minded.

Bear in mind, the "advice" given would be geographically impossible to carry out which
is clear from the opening post. Therefore, my comment appears to be accurate....

But as I say, I'm open minded, and appearances can be deceptive, so I'll listen to your point of view....

I wonder will you be so open minded and disclose why this perception of rudeness seemed to offend your sensibilities so much. What did it touch inside you that's burning. It could be key in a whole new understanding of yourself....

 

[Yewki]

When you suggest someone "seems to lack depth as a person," is "lacking something on an inner level," has pointlessly posted, is "judgemental," has jumped to a "premature assessment," and possibly "lacks reading comprehension skills"... thanking them for their effort tends to comes across as sarcastic and insincere.

Also I think you need to switch to decaf or something

 

[daddymonsterpoodle]

Your heart is in the right place but he is making the choice. 5 years with any woman is an achievement. It may be heartbreaking and ****ed up but it seems to work for them in a hideous dysfunctional way.

When he hits rock bottom then he will see the truth...or not. Maybe he is a lazy deluded ***** and this is his fate.

 

[Asmodeus]

Are you ok @Reykhel ? So obviously I read the opening post and few later ones involved, and the actual timing of it all may have eluded me. If you disagree with what I have to say then fine, you are entitled to your own opinions. However I am surprised that my little post caused such an overly emotional denouncement.
I can certainly psychoanalyze you, as you have done to me. But I will refrain from engaging in such simply because it is not worth my time and I consider impulsive overreactions to such trivial things to be weakness.
As for me "lacking something of a inner level" I will not even disagree with you on your assessment of me. It was unwarranted and impolite considering the circumstances, however you may actually be spot on about me.