"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Your Most Important DJ Skill: The Ability To Disconnect

bigneil

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As a DJ you will pursue many women, and not all of them will submit to your charms. Therefore, it is critical to be able to "turn off" your feelings for certain woman at will, in particular the extremely attractive ones.

Part of being able to disconnect is not overconnecting (i.e. obsessing) in the first place. When you focus on any idea it is like looking at the sun. After you look away it leaves trails and distorts your vision. If you think about a woman too much you will find her image superimposed everywhere you look, so beware of this. When you find this occurring it's probably because something is lacking in your life (other women for example). However, we often become obsessed with them to begin with because they became obsessed with us but then withdrew their affection. We're only as good as our second best option.

The ability to disconnect your feelings comes with practice. You need to not only have a couple numbers to text, but a couple relationships going (that is, women you are having sex with).

Often in a relationship you don't have to actually end it, but simply temporarily pause things by walking away and making her pursue you. Anytime she does anything you don't like you should basically walk away until she approaches you again.

When you learn to disconnect from women who reject you, you will often find they become interested later, but more importantly you will be able to remain focused on the women who are interested now.



EDIT: In italics.
 
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"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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PlayHer Man

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Agree 100%. Great post.

A man's legs are his most powerful tool in a relationship. This is why a married man is powerless. Women need that attention and validation from men to have "power". When you walk away and refuse to play her game.. she has no power and no control. The only way to get that power she seeks is to EARN IT by working harder.

You basically reverse the game on her. I've done it on many women and it works VERY well. The more effort she invests in you, the harder it is for her to leave. :yes:

"A man is only as faithful as his options."
-- Chris Rock
 

TheCWord

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One of the most important posts made on this forum in a while. I hope more discussion takes place in this thread - always love hearing examples too.
 

Uncharted

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Yet again bigneil comes through. This is also why it's almost impossible to date someone that you work with. When you see them everyday it's much easier to get oneitis or act AFC because you're thinking about them.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Deep Dish

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bigneil said:
When you focus on any idea it is like looking at the sun. After you look away it leaves trails and distorts your vision. If you think about a woman too much you will find her image superimposed everywhere you look, so beware of this.
Well spoken!
 

TheCWord

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Uncharted said:
This is also why it's almost impossible to date someone that you work with. When you see them everyday it's much easier to get oneitis or act AFC because you're thinking about them.
This is EXACTLY what happened with my 2012 oneitis.
 
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